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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this out of order to my friend? Difficult dilemma. WWYD?

455 replies

Headfulahorlix · 27/02/2016 20:12

Made a good friend a few years ago. She lives on my street. DCs are friends and we do play dates and baby sit for each other and some times go out for weekends. She moved to this street after her unhappy relationship came to an end and she feels her ex is controlling which I have witnessed and so believe.

I put my house on the market. He has offered me the full asking price.

I am desperate to move.

Would you sell to him in my position?

OP posts:
BedTimeNow · 27/02/2016 20:33

why would you even consider doing this to a friend ?
I'm also shocked you need to ask.

ShoppingBasket · 27/02/2016 20:34

And if OP doesn't get another offer is she to continue living there even though she said she is "desperate" to move?
While I can see it is a very hard situation you also have to do what's right for you. I would first approach your friend and see whether she is planning on staying in the area.

Anyway as PP said hopefully you will get more offers and then this will be a non issue!

Original poster
Headfulahorlix · 27/02/2016 20:34

I haven't told her yet until ive made decision. To be honest I would have said what everyone here have all said but now in my position I don't think I can refuse

OP posts:
LizKeen · 27/02/2016 20:34

I couldn't do it. I would feel like I was enabling an abuser.

LaurieFairyCake · 27/02/2016 20:35

Id tell her first in case there's a way you can screw him over together Grin

Like you sell to him (you exchange with a long completion date) and she gets her house on the market and sold before he completes

YarnYarnYarn · 27/02/2016 20:35

No way, and I'd tell her immediately. (I hope there aren't any other houses in your street for sale?) Poor woman. He sounds like the ex from hell if he's prepared to do this.

Woobeedoo · 27/02/2016 20:35

If your situation is now so desperate you don't think you can refuse then you have to tell your friend. No ifs, no buts.

cornishglos · 27/02/2016 20:36

No. And I'd be very worried about your friend that he'd do this to be closer.

HopefulHamster · 27/02/2016 20:37

Why would you trust him to go through with the purchase?

Don't do it.

eddielizzard · 27/02/2016 20:37

i don't think i could do that. but keep him waiting for an answer as long as poss and tell her what he's done.

NoArmaniNoPunani · 27/02/2016 20:37

I like kidnapped's idea. If that could work out it would benefit her as once he's moved it'll be harder for him to follow her to the next home.

QuiteLikely5 · 27/02/2016 20:38

Does she own her house?

sootica · 27/02/2016 20:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AcerPCsareRubbish · 27/02/2016 20:40

Why are you even asking? How would you feel??

DinosaursRoar · 27/02/2016 20:41

ok, you are desparate to move and haven't had other offers at this level, which suggests your house is on for too much. Don't be surprised if he is controlling that he wants to control all situations, he'll probably wait until you've got soemthing you want and risk the chain collapsing, to tell you he's decided it's not worth X and will only pay Y...

I would speak to the estate agent, say you know this man personally and know he has a habit of messing people about, do they think they can get X amount for it if you don't go with his offer?

WicksEnd · 27/02/2016 20:42

God no!
Does he know you and her are friends? Not that it makes a difference unless he's playing mind fuckery with you and intends on messing you about just because you are her friend?
Wouldn't trust him TBH.

defineme · 27/02/2016 20:44

What is your position?
Why are you desperate.

IAmNotAMindReader · 27/02/2016 20:47

Other properties in the general area must have been up for sale over this time.
That means he is only doing this to destroy the support network she has built up (your friendship)
If he wasn't interested in buying into the area before he will dick you around on the sale and quite possibly pull out once he has had the pleasure of informing her that you're selling to him. Its not a serious offer he's just trying to break her down.

Lucked · 27/02/2016 20:56

Does she own or rent. If she could easily move away I would discuss it with her.

You also risk her putting her house up for sale and then your sale might fall through as he wont be guaranteed to be living close to her. I think if you accept this things will get messy.

Original poster
Headfulahorlix · 27/02/2016 20:59

He moved into area and lives two streets down already

OP posts:
wavingnow · 27/02/2016 21:00

Wouldn'ttrust him to not mess you about. He could pull out at any time as it is likely he is doing it only because he wants to show her...

AyeAmarok · 27/02/2016 21:00

Christ, that is a dilemma.

He'll probably fuck you about with the purchase anyway OP, it's strange for him to straight away offer the asking price, I bet he has some tricks up his sleeve.

I don't think you should do it. I don't think it would be plain sailing if you did and then you'd end up losing a friend AND shafting yourself with the house.

Woobeedoo · 27/02/2016 21:00

Two streets away is already close enough. He is being a stalker. Don't sell to him.

AntiHop · 27/02/2016 21:03

No. Imagine how it would feel to be in her position.

SouthWesterlyWinds · 27/02/2016 21:04

Just relayed this to DH and he pointed out that if the OP doesn't sell to him, someone else in her street might. The best possible scenario is to talk it over with your friend. If she can get on the market as PP's have said, then it will muck him over whilst you accept. But you do need to talk to your friend before you either accept or decline.