to hell with the skinny police

[HowBadIsThisPlease]

I'm size 16 (big, at 5'4")

So is my mum. My mum has been bigger (I think) but I reckon she has been a size 16 for about 20 years.

She is 73. She swims, gardens, walks, runs a little business, is absolutely brilliant at minding small children, she sews, she cooks a lot, travels a lot, checks in on anyone around who has an illness or a problem, and entertains fabulously. She is never ill, never has a sleepless night, has health checks when they are offered on the NHS and they never throw up anything to worry about.

I have worried about my weight my whole life, and yo yo dieted constantly, and had on-off eating disorders. I have hidden from taking part in things I might have enjoyed because I will be seen to be too fat while doing them. I have fainted, cried, and had horrific anxiety attacks while under the influence of hunger. I've then reacted against that and had horribly unenjoyable bouts of overeating.

I am sick to death of it. fuck that noise. I am going to wake up tomorrow and change my life. I am going to eat three good meals a day, consisting of lots of vegetables, along with any other damn thing I want to eat. I am going to avoid alcohol, white bread, refined sugar (except as very special treats), and other than that I am going to eat ANYTHING I WANT.

I doubt I will put on weight but if I do I don't give a fuck. There are no fucks left in my heart to give about this. I have reached peak fatness-fucks. I am scanning the horizon with an extremely powerful telescope and THERE ARE NO FUCKS. I don't CARE. I have HAD ENOUGH.

If anyone bleats at me about "health" and "obesity" I will play a little movie in my head of a pissed, 8 stone, desperately miserable person vomiting into a toilet and then mentally give the bleater a MASSIVE kick up the arse (like Father Ted and Bishop Brennon). then I will laugh and get on with my life.

Does anyone want to join me?

I have been on the whole thread. I see frustration, not bitchiness.

It may be a matter of interpretation, but that is mine.

Mum of two boys you are shallow, as you say. I could not give a shiny shite what you think about my appearance or the appearance of others.

Some people don't wear makeup but let's face it they never look good.

Nice....

Whilst I concede that I probably don't look good, most of my friends also don't wear make-up regularly either and some of then are stunning. As you say you are shallow, I suggest you dump the ugly fuckers you normally hang around with and find some new friends, because there are indeed plenty of people who don't wear make-up and look good too.

*them

Well you should care. Not caring about your appearance is a symptom of depression

To give up wanting to look and feel good is opting out of life. Which lots of obese people do...
then whenever they lose the weight they say they've had a new lease of life and feel like a new person

Everyone is judging everyone on how they look regardless of protests of them not caring

www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/attractive-people-particularly-women-more-likely-to-get-a-job-than-the-unattractive-says-study-8809987.html

I don't think it's shallow to take some pride in your appearance and to care about how other people view you.

for me, not caring about my appearance is a symptom of having more interesting things in my life to care about. As long as I'm clean and fairly tidy who gives a stuff!

• skinny, non-makeup, scruffy haired, non-tooth whitening person.

Well you should care. Not caring about your appearance is a symptom of depression

I dont care what you think and disagree with you...... rofl is that a symptom of depression?

Not caring about your appearance to the point of no longer washing or maintaining personal hygiene might well be a symptom of depression, but "not caring" about your appearance in the sense of not wearing make-up is simply a choice.

It's not me judging. I don't know you have never met you, I'm talking about people in general who you meet they will be judging you and me and all of us on how we look.

You do sound like you have given up though.

I said before I wish it wasn't like this, as there is an awful lot of pressure to look good, even when we've just had a baby we are expected to lose any baby weigh asap.

But that's how it is it's not going to change

There was so much fuss about not using skinny anorexic models, has anything changed much?
Not really only slightly, very occasionally do you see a larger model on the catwalk
Very occasionally do we see older models on the catwalk

People in general, like to look at attractive things and that includes people
Being fat isn't considered an attractive look

Trying to look your best is something we should all do. We wouldn't send out children to school in dirty uniforms with messy hair. Why would an adult chose to look scruffy?

I mentioned not wearing make up in the context that some don't and some wear too much make up

but that is not the norm. Most people do wear some makeup to enhance their features

It's the norm to wear make-up? Really?

I am a perfectly average looking woman who is happy in her own skin I can assure you. If that is 'letting myself go' then fine. Nowhere have I said that I don't care about what I look like, only that I don't care what others think. I don't prioritise it over more important stuff though, I don't spend hours putting on makeup to pout into selfies, have never had my nails done, hair is natural colour. I sometimes wear makeup, usually don't.

If your appearance is very important to you then fine, but different people see things differently. You need to accept that just because you have an opinion it isn't the right one for everyone. I don't judge people on what they look like either, so perhaps that's why I worry about it less.

If it is not the norm to wear make up and lose weight then why are the cosmetic and diet and exercise industries worth billions and still growing?

I can't imagine many people don't at least go to a hairdresser occasionally

I believe most people make some effort with their appearance because looking scruffy or fat or unattractive doesn't make anyone feel good.

I would hope we all want to set a good example to ours kids as well

7 stone 7lbs here

Fuck you and your 8 stone image

I would hope we all want to set a good example to ours kids as well

You mean like being happy in our own skin? Eating healthily and enjoying exercise without the need to follow the latest crash diet or make a big issue of it? Or simply by not judging others based on their looks?

Posted too soon...

By living life and enjoying it? By spending time with family, rather than wasting half a day doing hair and make-up? By not being ashamed of yourself and how you look, but loving who you are? By enjoying all the variety of food that tastes delicious, and spending time with friends and family when you do so? By thinking nothing of going for a run around the park or walk with the dogs, rather than pacing up and down a hallway to hit the magic 10,000 steps? To realise there are more important things in life than how you look, and how others do so?

How can you lament the beauty industry Mumof2boys and say there is nothing that can be done about it, while perpetuating the issue by following it yourself? I am not a sheep, I do not have to follow what others think and I genuinely do not give a stuff about what people think about my appearance. I am comfortable with how I look, accept it and if others don't then that is their problem.

There are so many more important things to think about in the world. Perhaps if people could chill about how they looked they would find the world a slightly less stressful place. Do you know how freeing it is, not to worry about these things?

Exercise and a healthy diet are important - not because of the way they make people look but because of the impact on health.

Some people don't wear makeup but let's face it they never look good

.

What the fuck! I don't wear makeup but I look flipping lovely.

mum can you really not understand that some people set no value on appearance?

It isn't that they have been forced to this by ugliness or lack of money, they have actually grown out of caring what they or others look like and moved onto caring about the people themselves instead.

The reason the cosmetics industry is so successful is that they have convinced people like you that appearance is the most important thing in their lives. They have convinced people like you that being ugly = stupid = lazy etc so we must all strive above all else not to be ugly. But not all of us believe that. Because some of us can look past appearance and see that ugly people are intelligent and ambitious too, and no less valuable to society than the attractive people.

I may or may not wear make up and I don't care what I look like...because it IS NOT IMPORTANT.

You know when the adverts aimed at children say 'everyone wants to look their best' they are a) lying - a lot of us don't care. b) creating mental health problems for our children.

On the subject of make up I never leave the house without a bit of foundation, bronzer and blusher. That's instilled in me. I wish I could leave the house without wearing anything. I'm naturally pale and look really ill if I don't. That's just my choice. I don't balance everything on appearance and I am a bit at girls who wear false everything all of the time. My friend wears false eyelashes every day. I did it for a day and thought I'm not doing that again! Takes me 3 minutes to put my make up on in the morning. I don't do it particularly well but at least it saves me from looking like ghost woman.

I was totally with the OP until the skinny shaming at the bottom of her post.

Not all 'skinny' people have eating disorders.

FWIW I have always chosen my friends on how they treat me, I have never considered their respective dress sizes. I've never judged a person by their weight, yet have been repeatedly judged for mine and had awful comments made to me.

Its not acceptable for anyone to make comments about another persons weight, whichever part of the scales your on.

And yes, I know the threads moved on - but I also hope the OP lives her life in a way that makes her happy, regardless of weight.