to hell with the skinny police

[HowBadIsThisPlease]

I'm size 16 (big, at 5'4")

So is my mum. My mum has been bigger (I think) but I reckon she has been a size 16 for about 20 years.

She is 73. She swims, gardens, walks, runs a little business, is absolutely brilliant at minding small children, she sews, she cooks a lot, travels a lot, checks in on anyone around who has an illness or a problem, and entertains fabulously. She is never ill, never has a sleepless night, has health checks when they are offered on the NHS and they never throw up anything to worry about.

I have worried about my weight my whole life, and yo yo dieted constantly, and had on-off eating disorders. I have hidden from taking part in things I might have enjoyed because I will be seen to be too fat while doing them. I have fainted, cried, and had horrific anxiety attacks while under the influence of hunger. I've then reacted against that and had horribly unenjoyable bouts of overeating.

I am sick to death of it. fuck that noise. I am going to wake up tomorrow and change my life. I am going to eat three good meals a day, consisting of lots of vegetables, along with any other damn thing I want to eat. I am going to avoid alcohol, white bread, refined sugar (except as very special treats), and other than that I am going to eat ANYTHING I WANT.

I doubt I will put on weight but if I do I don't give a fuck. There are no fucks left in my heart to give about this. I have reached peak fatness-fucks. I am scanning the horizon with an extremely powerful telescope and THERE ARE NO FUCKS. I don't CARE. I have HAD ENOUGH.

If anyone bleats at me about "health" and "obesity" I will play a little movie in my head of a pissed, 8 stone, desperately miserable person vomiting into a toilet and then mentally give the bleater a MASSIVE kick up the arse (like Father Ted and Bishop Brennon). then I will laugh and get on with my life.

Does anyone want to join me?

6 months ago I allowed myself to eat anything in moderation. It worked in one way as all the convenience/fast food i held up as aspirational, were actually awful tasting!

I adore food but I realise I like good quality (nice cheeses, home made cakes, tasty experimental main meals).

Going to bed earlier has also got rid of any late night munchies

Don't tell me men prefer curvy girls as well
I'm slim or skinny as you'd probably define me. I always will be. I was bullied like fuck at school for not being fatter. I've battled with my weight most of my life. I'm now 30 and now give no fucks. If you don't like the fact that I eat a bag of chocolate buttons every day (family size) plus my 4 meals and snacks in between with the odd mcds thrown in and still end up being a size 8-10 at 5ft 6 the that's your problem not mine. Don't think "bigger" people realise just how fucking nasty they can be about slimmer people and think we all have some sort of eating disorder (I know the op said she referred to herself about the eating disorder but it's not always the case) but if you must know I love food and have a fear of being sick so I'd be a pretty shit anorexic or bulimic. I don't go around calling people "fat" so don't be calling slim people skinny. Really fucking winds me up. It's called a fast metabolism.

Oh ffs pixie rtft!!!!

Yet none of these head-tilty concerned people are rushing to chub up to be the healthiest they can be (ie on the cusp of the higher end normal / overweight category).
Because 'you can never be too rich, or too thin'.

Deciding that 26 is the 'healthiest' bmi for everyone is just utter bollocks. Its as much bollocks as saying 'everyone must be under 25 or their health is at risk.

Its bad for you to be underweight, its bad for you to be very overweight but 21, 26, 20, 30 who gives a shite?

FWIW mine is 21 and I can't stand all this health holier than thou shit. I don't want a bmi of 26 but the main issue is that I'd have an inch of fat hanging over my jeans and I'd look like a middle aged housewife (I know because this was my past baby weight, twice). It's unlikely it would send me toan early grave but that its healthier for someone of a slight build is nonsense.

OP it is no one's business but yours what you weigh

Seriously does no-one read any more?
For everyone taking the hump at the throwing-up bit - OP was referring to herself.

Posters aren't being horrid about thin people.

Weight is a small thing for me. Being healthy and balanced is most important.

It is possible to be thin (and fat) and have high levels of unhealthy visceral fat. Particularly if eating shit.

"inyurdreams Sat 27-Feb-16 23:12:12
If you're happy being fat, so be it.

I take it you don't mind being labelled fat? You shouldn't be.

After all, you are labeling all slim women skinny"

Sorry but this in particular is pure ignorant idiocy. At no point have I talked about "skinny people", other than a notional pressure group the "skinny police" (who are often not actually super slim themselves, hence the anxiety! By this I mean people tutting and fussing about being skinny, no one actually being slim or very slim)

If you read my posts - my actual posts - you will see that when I talk about slim people I always use the term slim.

If you read the whole thread, you will see that there are a lot of very stupid attitudes on here equating overweight with ill health, and that in turn with moral failure. That's just stupid. It's also aggressive and triggering.

That sort of attitude / person is what I mean by "the skinny police" which, oh my darlings who are hard of understanding, is short hand for "self appointed moral arbiters of people's size who labour under the delusion that the slimmer the better"

(Anyone who thinks I have just made them up, and they are "in my head", need only see the level of aggression that pops up on threads where a poster thinks about just not dieting any more. there was one a few weeks ago. It was fascinating. No, it's not everyone who violently opposes this concept, and there is a lot of support for it - but the outrage is there, and it is real, and it has an effect)

Even the nonsense about the burden on the NHS has been wheeled out on this thread! If you look at how much my big-ish 16 mother has cost the NHS relative to other 73 year olds I think you'll find her pretty cheap. Me too - despite the issues I have moaned about on this thread I have never actually been able to get anyone to part with any money helping me with them.

It's pure hate, probably in some cases self-hate in disguise. People who want to talk about health should learn something about it.

"I'm slim or skinny as you'd probably define me. I always will be. I was bullied like fuck at school for not being fatter. I've battled with my weight most of my life."

this poster has had bad treatment for being the "wrong weight" and is now just too twisted and traumatised to even read properly and somehow thinks it's all my fault (or the fault of other overweight people). This is a real issue, people! It makes people unhappy, and it damages their ability to read words on a screen and understand what is being said

Are some people just a bit pissed on a Saturday night, or do all threads contain a significant proportion of posters just reacting to individual words and spewing out their irrelevant and misplaced rage, without even apparently attempting to understand what is being said?

Even the nonsense about the burden on the NHS has been wheeled out on this thread! If you look at how much my big-ish 16 mother has cost the NHS relative to other 73 year olds I think you'll find her pretty cheap.

I can't stand this argument. DH is running a half marathon this morning, what about the burden on the nhs when his knees give out due to his running obsession?

Also surely everyone eventually gets unwell and has health problems/ dies however healthy they are? We are all a burden on the NHS.

A PS on the "burden on the NHS" nonsense

I have 2 children and have never had a CS or an epidural. Neither of them ever needed any special care in hospital and both times I was at home either 4 or 8 hours after giving birth. In other words, I am very, very lucky.

I would be an absolute RAT of the highest order if I ever DARED suggest that people who needed more, and more expensive, medical attention around childbirth were somehow wasting my (NHS, tax-payers) money. If I even thought about thinking that, I would quite rightly be hounded off mumsnet.

And yet there are people - whether they should be believed or not is a different matter - but there are people, who believe that you can prepare and train yourself for a very low intervention birth. Some people do what they advise and get the results they were promised. If those people were to BLAME the sufferers of, for instance, a crash CS, for not making enough of an effort, AND FOR COSTING UNNECESSARY MONEY! - would that be remotely within the bounds of reasonable discourse?

Even though in that case, those things are provenly more expensive? (which being fat is not)

It was really obvious you were talking about your own eating disorder in the OP I don't know why people keep quoting it

OP, the way you want to eat is a good one, it works for me.

I eat what I like, but avoiding too much ready-made stuff (don't really like ready-meals).

But I eat lovely satisfying meals 3 times a day. These can include burgers/chips if that is what I feel like.

A normal day for me might be

• toast (with butter) and egg
• BLT baguette and an orange
• spag bol and side salad.

Eating a nice satisfying meal means I don't think about food in between meals.

Got me to a bmi of 23 without trying, and without feeling food/diet obsessed.

Only thing I avoid, apart from ready meals, are puddings. Unless it's a special occasion.

Good luck

OP, I am inspired by your post. I am a size 8/10 recovered anorexic and this freedom is something I am really trying to achieve myself.

Good for you, I think you'll feel amazing, nourished and that the benefits will be obvious after a short period of time.

Update and let us know how you get on!

Sorry but this in particular is pure ignorant idiocy. At no point have I talked about "skinny people",
You are having a laugh right?
Your thread title clearly states

To hell with the SKINNY police!

And where are all these so called people who are 'policing' you?
There is no 'law'(that I know of) that says people can only eat certain foods.
There is of advice out there (lots of it conflicting) but it's up to you whether you choose to take any of that advise.

If you really 'are' happy being bigger, then I don't think you would,have started this thread.
There is obviously a lot of conflict in your mind.

I think we are focusing far too heavily on small things in the OP and ignoring the message. The message is that she isn't going to tell herself off for eating and is going to focus on being happy and healthy.

I can't see anything in her posts that skinny shames anyone. Having been that girl who came close to coming a cropper due to anorexia, can I suggest moving on from this particular point please?

Regarding the point about the NHS, we all place a burden on it from time to time. It's what it's for. Most of the time it's due to things you can't prevent.

I was lucky enough to have NHS care when I was at my sickest and it saved my life.

OP, good for you. Ignore anyone who shames you for the weight you are and enjoy your new focus on being happy and healthy, you will love the change in you mentally and emotionally.

Oh sorry for the bad grammar in my last sentence, I don't have my glasses on!

I feel you

There is a lot of pressure out there to stay slim. Even when no-one says anything I think woman are expected to look a certain way and are overlooked if we aren't.

For me it's about being able to look nice in my clothes so I haven't given up watching my weight. It's a battle. If I ate whatever I wanted all the time id be a size 18 within months. I'm naturally curvy, struggling to stay normal sized lol

I don't want to feel fat, I would love to be a size 8 again instead of a 12
I would pay to have a gastric band to be a size 8 again but I'm worried about the hair loss complications after it. Everyone seems to have thin hair once they've had a gastric band

When I was a size 8 before children I was able to go all day barely eating. Now I'm too exhausted and have too much to do, I need to eat otherwise I'd faint. Gone are the days of being able to lie in bed and rest when feeling unwell. I don't have a nanny like most celebs do

I already feel massive at a size 12 so I don't want to gain any more weight and not be able to fit into my clothes

Maybe set a goal instead of it being about size.

My goal is to be able to keep wearing my designer clothes
Shallow I know, but I could of bought another car for what I've spent on clothes

Even if you say f that. People will still judge you about being overweight, you can't stop them judging

You can stop comparing yourself to other people but this is very hard

Another mum I know exists on a juice diet to stay a size 8 but every time she relaxes and eats the weight goes back on and she is in a cycle of losing/gaining

I don't think there are any answers, I go to the gym, I run and I still have to battle with my weight

If you are genuinely happy being overweight then fair play

If it's making you feel bad about yourself then it's never too late to do something about it
But don't make it about size. Make it about being a better version of you

You are having a laugh right?

The OP explained that. Along with some other things people found a bit difficult to understand.

Skinny police does not = police who are skinny.

...Just waiting for someone to complain about the OP being offensive to police...

Good luck, OP. Hopefully you'll reach a place of peace towards your body very soon.

There are not two boxes that we sort people into: healthy and unhealthy.

Pipe down sofa doctors. Watching an episode of Biggest Loser doesn't make you an expert. 'Health' is very complex and a decent doctor would go a lot further than popping you on the scale to make his decision

Bloody hell! Some people on here seem very angry in life and intent on starting an argument out of sod all good on you op. You sound like you're finally at a healthy and comfortable stage in your life. Be happy

Good on you OP. I hope this all works out for you.

With you on every point. I have battled with my weight for as long as I can remember, and may follow your lead.

I have health problems which have contributed to weight and self esteem problems and am about to be investigated too for the possibility that my issues may have caused bone density problems.

I like to eat reasonably healthily. Like you OP, and others here too, I am sick of feeling judged by society at large.

Good luck to you.

I think it's more about how we look than health

You could be skinny and eat junk food and not be judged simply because society judges fat people and sees being fat as unattractive

She said her elderly mother is over weight too but she's happy with it, but we don't expect older people to maintain slim figures the way we do new mum's and women in general.

So many people comment on others baby weight and expect new mum's to lose all the weight usually within a year.

It sucks but that's life.

Even if you are happy being overweight other people will still judge you no matter how healthy you may be

One of the thinnest people I know has a very unhealthy diet. Eats very few actual meals and replaces them with snacks of things like crisps, chocolate, ryvita with butter - but in very small quantities. I think she has a very unhealthy relationship with food.