to hell with the skinny police

[HowBadIsThisPlease]

I'm size 16 (big, at 5'4")

So is my mum. My mum has been bigger (I think) but I reckon she has been a size 16 for about 20 years.

She is 73. She swims, gardens, walks, runs a little business, is absolutely brilliant at minding small children, she sews, she cooks a lot, travels a lot, checks in on anyone around who has an illness or a problem, and entertains fabulously. She is never ill, never has a sleepless night, has health checks when they are offered on the NHS and they never throw up anything to worry about.

I have worried about my weight my whole life, and yo yo dieted constantly, and had on-off eating disorders. I have hidden from taking part in things I might have enjoyed because I will be seen to be too fat while doing them. I have fainted, cried, and had horrific anxiety attacks while under the influence of hunger. I've then reacted against that and had horribly unenjoyable bouts of overeating.

I am sick to death of it. fuck that noise. I am going to wake up tomorrow and change my life. I am going to eat three good meals a day, consisting of lots of vegetables, along with any other damn thing I want to eat. I am going to avoid alcohol, white bread, refined sugar (except as very special treats), and other than that I am going to eat ANYTHING I WANT.

I doubt I will put on weight but if I do I don't give a fuck. There are no fucks left in my heart to give about this. I have reached peak fatness-fucks. I am scanning the horizon with an extremely powerful telescope and THERE ARE NO FUCKS. I don't CARE. I have HAD ENOUGH.

If anyone bleats at me about "health" and "obesity" I will play a little movie in my head of a pissed, 8 stone, desperately miserable person vomiting into a toilet and then mentally give the bleater a MASSIVE kick up the arse (like Father Ted and Bishop Brennon). then I will laugh and get on with my life.

Does anyone want to join me?

Posted to soon - my point is that thin doesn't necessarily equal healthy, and being a bit overweight doesn't necessarily equal unhealthy.

Your para about being eight stone and giving them a kick up the arse was mean. I am not eight stone, but an nine stone, 5'8. I eat, A LOT. I also do a mixture of gymming, running or just a workout in my garage, 3 X a week. I have friends who are heavier than I am. I don't berate them or randoms on the street for being a certain size. I don't feel ill will towards anyone who is, so why should it be vice versa? If I want an iced bun from wenzels or share Ben and Jerry's with DH, I do so. I just don't do it the next day, or go for a small jog the next day. By the way, my eight stone friends are the ones who just eat whatever and have a high metabolism - blessed, eh?!

I think we can all be comfortable in ourselves without coming across as bitter. X

I don't think it matters... People don't comment and say things like you are looking very healthy

They say you are looking very well have you lost some weight!

We all get judged on what we weigh unfortunately so health has nothing to do with the pressure to be slim

I agree, nobody gives a monkey's about what anybody weighs or eats, it's all about what somebody looks like. It's about size, not weight. Stupid, really.

Exactly it's like teeth whitening and going to the hairdresser.

We are all expected to look good. Woman more than men even if you have just had a baby

Being fat isn't a good look just as having yellow teeth isn't deemed a good look

It's not fair really but that's life

"do all threads contain a significant proportion of posters just reacting to individual words and spewing out their irrelevant and misplaced rage, without even apparently attempting to understand what is being said?"

Do you not spend a lot of time on MN, OP?

OP, how about looking into Paul McKenna's I can make you thin? It's only a few quid for the book and hypnosis CD and it is a bit irritating but it does seem to work in taking away the 'on a diet, off a diet' mentality and you may find that if you follow his method, your weight may gradually reduce without feeling like you are denying yourself. It's along the 'mindful eating' lines I think. There are 3 basic rules:

Eat what you want to eat, not what you think you should eat - ie if you want something, have it - don't think 'I can't have that, I'm on a diet'

Eat slowly and concentrate on enjoying what you are eating, don't mindlessly shovel food in while you are watching TV, mumsnetting or whatever else.

Eat when you are hungry and stop when you are full - ie if you are hungry, eat, don't if you are not hungry and stop eating when you are full, don't feel obliged to eat all that is on your plate - this is the most important rule and you end up naturally eating less.

OP your posts strike me as quite angry and defensive. I understand that you've had your fill of the mental torture of eating disorders and the head space that takes up. I don't believe you can lay all the blame for your issues on society.
You are the person responsible for what goes in your mouth.
You state that you want to eat in a healthy way which is great. I would advise making the best of your appearance and throwing away your size 8 clothes. Concentrate on being a beautiful size 16 and your self esteem will improve. As you have discovered, self worth and happiness is not found in the number on your scales.
Don't have a 'fuck it' attitude to putting on weight though as that is putting your head in the sand.

Op, I applaud you. The mention you made of being overweight being seen as morally reprehensible has resonated with me . When I lost 2 st some people were amazed and hugely complementary. I was as the same people didn't seem to give a Fuck about my fitness levels which have dropped dramatically due to a chronic health condition.Think = healthy , my arse !!

theclick OP was talking about HERSELF at 8 stone. And this has been reiterated repeatedly in the thread.

My point is that it's not just weight.
There is
Plastic surgery, Botox
Hair transplants for baldness
Teeth whitening
Going to hairdresser regularly
To name a few

We all feel to pressure to look good and even if you say f that the pressure will still be there

So while it gets called the skinny police there is also a baldness police and lots of other 'police' where people say he was so good looking before he went bald etc
She's started to look really old etc

Saying f that won't fix the problem, you'll still be overweight and still get judged but trying to make yourself a better version of yourself might help

It's not about size it's about looking good and feeling better about yourself

Her elderly mum won't be getting judged as much as she will as we don't expect the elderly to maintain slim figures

Go easy on yourself don't ever hate yourself because you are big. Focus on your self happiness and everything else will follow.

"You are having a laugh right?
Your thread title clearly states

To hell with the SKINNY police!"

Let me help you.

Do you think that a children's publisher is a company full of child workers who publish books? No, it is a company of undefined presumably human workers who publish books for children.

Do you think that a sweet shop is a shop made of bricks that are infused with sugar and taste sweet? No, it is a shop that could be built of anything, that sells sweets.

So, try to think about extrapolating the principle. I know English is a very confusing language but there are lots of other examples that can help you with this.

The "skinny police" is a figurative* way of talking about people (undescribed) who "police" "skinniness". I do not use the word "skinny" to describe any people. The word here is used to describe the primary concern of this imaginary police force.

does that help?

*not actually real, but a metaphor. Do you need help with this too?

Skinny is not used as an insult in the same way as 'fat', get over yourselves!

Kate Moss said 'nothing tastes as good as skinny feels', she wasn't saying it in a bad way!

I was told I was skinny in an admiring/jealous way all the time when I was 7 stone 12 throughout most of my teens and twenties. I got so much admiration for being slim, it was untrue. Mostly from females, but a lot from men.

Now I'm bigger, a lot bigger due to medication and two kids and eating more and exercising less, and I have accepted it. I have a pang of sorrow I'll never turn sideways and see that lovely slim figure, rather now it's a bit barrel like, but I have a good life and honestly don't spend much time thinking about weight any more.

I do feel better for having cut out junk/sugary food, still eat carbs but less wheat and eating good amounts of protein- and eating regularly, it's a great mood regulator and allows me the fuel to work in my very demanding job and rest of my life.

I can't say I'll never have that pang of 'I wish I were slimmer' again, but it's much nicer to be happier in the moment.

Patronising at best OP. Come on, you wanted opinions and feedback.

How bad how funny that you think my traumatic childhood is something hilarious to take the piss out of and apparently I now can't read because of it.
I think you're just angry with yourself Op because you don't know what the fuck to do with yourself so you're just spitting out shit from all directions to make other people feel crap and somehow trying to make yourself feel better.
Oh and for what's it's worth I did read the fucking thread. Doesn't mean I agree with it. It's called having an opinion. Get you're fucking head out of your ass. People are bullied for their weight all the time whether they be fat or slim. Neither is right. It pisses me off because it's a personal subject to me.

Cheryl Cole gets slated for being too skinny so some people do use it as an insult

But let's face it it's not a hurtful insult id love to have someone say to me 'you look too thin' haha

and I'm normal sized due to lots of exercise n watching what I eat

Saying f that is only fooling yourself really as you will still get judged for being fat even if you say you are happy with it

I wish it wasn't like this but doesn't seem like it's going to change anytime soon

Plus I'm with a pp that said if you really and truly didn't give a shit you wouldn't have started the thread in the first place. I'm very glad that you feel able to eat what you want. I'd never tell you otherwise and to be honest I couldn't give a shit whether you stuffed your face with carrots or Krispy Kremes all day- kudos to you! Your health (either good or bad) is of no concern to me.

The connection between weight and health is not as concrete as people would believe. Being overweight is not a death sentence. You are not guaranteed to get Type II diabetes, or heart disease, or cancer, or anything else. As long as you don't have a family history of these diseases, as long as you aren't smoking, drinking to much and eating junk all the time and doing no exercise ON TOP of being overweight or obese, then you are doing the right thing.

Fuck society's standards of beauty.

PixieChops, I don't think your traumatic childhood is remotely funny and I know it hurts. It's not my fault though and I haven't said anything on this thread to hurt slim people.

Pixie I think you're reading some things that are simply not there, coloured by your own issues. You're being hugely unfair to the OP anyway.

hp and mum of course skinny can be insulting and hurtful, exactly the same as calling someone fat is. And women are judged on it just as much. Women who would never dream of calling an aquaintance fat, or make comments on what they eat or express suprise they don't just cram down pies all day or say Christ your arms are huge are often quite happy to make the same personal remarks to skinny or even just slim people. And because people take the line it's not insulting, you're meant to just be ok with personal comments and body shaming. And yet the same people who happily make remarks about skinny people are the first to be outraged and upset about their size being remarked on ime.

There's no need for anyone to make personal comments on anothers size or shape, fat or thin.

Or in real life. I actually am much less inclined than a lot of people I know to say things like "she looks amazing, I could never get away with that playsuit.... bitch." I NEVER say things like that. I love seeing women looking great and rocking whatever they've got (big to slim); and I am perfectly aware that women who look good are not somehow taking away from my potential of looking good; and it makes me sad when people "jokingly" add the "bitch!" part, because I know that deep down those people really feel "lesser" because she (whoever she is) looks conventionally good in a way that many find hard or impossible to achieve. And they are taking it out in hate language.

But the attitude I do utterly loathe is this concern-trolling, this bitter rage that someone dare jump off the treadmill couched in the language of "health".

to get this absolutely clear for one final time: I have no problem with people of any size and I never use size-ist language. but I have a really serious MASSIVE problem with people who are (consciously or unconsciously) perpetuating the destructive and unhealthy diet industry hegemony

If there are slim people on this thread I have no idea, unless they tell me (but as said upthread, it doesn't effect my view of them anyway).

If there are health concern trolls or other diet enforcers, I can tell by what they're posting, and guess what, they're pissing me off.

I think OP is honest m, not patronising.

It is people who judge others over their weight without knowing anything about their social or medical backgrounds who I feel patronised by.

You can be fit and "overweight" or fit and slim. By the same token, either category can have health problems too. Either category can also be critical of the other. Either can be bullied by ignoramuses too.

Sad, but that's how it is.