to hell with the skinny police

[HowBadIsThisPlease]

I'm size 16 (big, at 5'4")

So is my mum. My mum has been bigger (I think) but I reckon she has been a size 16 for about 20 years.

She is 73. She swims, gardens, walks, runs a little business, is absolutely brilliant at minding small children, she sews, she cooks a lot, travels a lot, checks in on anyone around who has an illness or a problem, and entertains fabulously. She is never ill, never has a sleepless night, has health checks when they are offered on the NHS and they never throw up anything to worry about.

I have worried about my weight my whole life, and yo yo dieted constantly, and had on-off eating disorders. I have hidden from taking part in things I might have enjoyed because I will be seen to be too fat while doing them. I have fainted, cried, and had horrific anxiety attacks while under the influence of hunger. I've then reacted against that and had horribly unenjoyable bouts of overeating.

I am sick to death of it. fuck that noise. I am going to wake up tomorrow and change my life. I am going to eat three good meals a day, consisting of lots of vegetables, along with any other damn thing I want to eat. I am going to avoid alcohol, white bread, refined sugar (except as very special treats), and other than that I am going to eat ANYTHING I WANT.

I doubt I will put on weight but if I do I don't give a fuck. There are no fucks left in my heart to give about this. I have reached peak fatness-fucks. I am scanning the horizon with an extremely powerful telescope and THERE ARE NO FUCKS. I don't CARE. I have HAD ENOUGH.

If anyone bleats at me about "health" and "obesity" I will play a little movie in my head of a pissed, 8 stone, desperately miserable person vomiting into a toilet and then mentally give the bleater a MASSIVE kick up the arse (like Father Ted and Bishop Brennon). then I will laugh and get on with my life.

Does anyone want to join me?

That's me.
I am trying to find a way to eat in a way that includes what my body needs, includes pleasure, but excludes the misery of binging.
I will NEVER be skinny but I am no longer over 17 stone. Ouch! Couldn't be a size 8 if I tried. I have big shoulders, boobs and hips. But I want to be fit enough to enjoy my life, to stave off depression and try and avoid long term health issues.
I will not diet. I will not set a goal weight. I will eat healthily. I will allow myself a biscuit or some crisps if I really want them.

Hennifer I've just had a look, it says BMI of 40 or above is severely obese which I suppose constitutes 'morbid' obesity. Though I do think the BMI thing is a load of wank tbh.

Sound like you have found your way to a better relationship with food. And I bet you will loose some weight too - eat really food, when you are hungry, eat until you are satisfied and enjoy what you are eating: that plus lots of veggies and you are bound to be happier and likely carry less ballast in every sense of the word

Where was anybody skinny-shaming?

Thank you.

I suggest throwing away your scales, stop fixating on food and labelling them as good or bad, and trying to accept your size if you are healthy.

If you need to seek outside help or counselling, there's no shame in that. In the nicest possible way, I think the skinny police are actually in your head and your need to change your body image.

'I think the skinny police are actually in your head and your need to change your body image.'

This.

With you all the way
Be free

Ah op I have been thinking about my weight and body image and all that bollocks recently.

I am 5ft 5in and also a size16. I also have huge norks and am apple shaped so I look like spongebob squarepants. Sigh.

But I used to be a size 8/10. I was off my tits thurs-sun morning on party drugs, smoked like a chimney and had a bit of a drink problem. Not forgetting I was stressed and depressed and a bit of a cunt.

Now I am just a bit fat. With only a slight drink problem in that I drink 1 or 2 drinks every night apart from sunday. And sometimes Wednesday.

But my mental and physical health is so much better. I have a beautiful family and a nice home and am a happy little soul with my relaxed skinny jeans from next and my beloved harem pants.

Am going to concentrate on being happy and healthy and fit rather than thin.

Too tired to say everything I want to OP but bloody good on you. I love food and have spent my entire adult life torturing myself over it. I've missed out on so much because I haven't felt thin enough.

It's % body fat (and where it is) that indicates health. Not bmi. The 26 ideal is balls too, because it's purely an interpretation of stats. Not a prediction for individuals.

HanYOLO the links on this page back up your post.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2120233-Isnt-about-Fattism-was-added-to-the-list-of-prohibited-isms?pg=8

Completely with you OP.

I'm a 16/18 at 5'3' but I was a 22/24 2 years ago. While I could lose another 2-3 stone and be slim, I actually really like my body shape and my god, I look slim in comparison to before.

I eat what I want but I don't eat a lot - my portion sizes are much smaller and I stop when I'm full now. I may lose more weight slowly but I'm not desperate.

Ive been to slimming world twice The first time i lost 10 stone very quickly. A stone a month for seven months and i got gallstones. I considered suicide...the pain was that bad.

I kept the weight off for a few years then slowly regained weight (4 stone from 2006 to 2013 (DH had a heart attack back in 2006) and became ill. Its taken me very nearly 3 years to lose the 4 stone regain. It comes off a lot slower when you are older and the bloody pressure at slimming groups to have a bloody target weight really gets on my bits. IMO its just more pressure.

I also dont do the low syn crap because most of the stuff recommended is full of sugar.
They dont want slow and steady though.....its not a good advert!

If you're happy being fat, so be it.

I take it you don't mind being labelled fat? You shouldn't be.

After all, you are labeling all slim women skinny

*BoulevardOfBrokenSleep
*
^Current medical research seems to be pointing towards the healthiest BMI to be around 26, or just into the 'overweight' category.

Which is why all those people who previously told us chubsters off, are currently eating more to get into that category, because health is what it's all about.

Oh no, wait...^

Haha!!
Exactly this!

"I'm just worried about your health"
"It's just so unhealthy"
"Health is the most important thing"

Yet none of these head-tilty concerned people are rushing to chub up to be the healthiest they can be (ie on the cusp of the higher end normal / overweight category).
Because 'you can never be too rich, or too thin'.

Why are you so pissed off about my chest pains comment? Being overweight is a health issue, as are visual problems as I mentioned or a whole host of other thing. It's not "judgemental" to say being overweight is bad for you. Why is ignoring a health problem ok just when it's excess body weight? If you had serious headaches and ignored them people would think that was unwise so why is this any different?

I also gave you some helpful advice coming from someone who has been exactly where you are, but you obviously just want people to pat you on the back and tell you how wonderful you are so whatever. Ignore what I said about facing the psychological aspect and making small changes and whatever. Good luck with getting rid of all your issues overnight, I'm sure that will work out just great.

In my case, dieting is absolutely appallingly bad for my mental and ultimately physical health. If I could drop two stone while in excellent therapy, receiving plenty of emotional support, while having plenty of sleep, while working gently in an emotionally and intellectually rewarding job, while a series of balanced and delicious meals and snacks were being made available so that I could eat regularly and sparingly while never being in danger of fainting from hunger - if I could do all that then maybe I would come out the other side healthier.

Oh, so you can only do it with a whole load of people and without accepting any responsibility for your own physical and mental health and take any independant action towards solving your problem. Right, gotcha.

Ive had more chest pain and colicky pain at a size 14 than i ever did at a 28.

Yep... That's a wonderful big backhanded slap at all skinny women. Not all size 8's are miserably vomiting themselves into oblivion the same as not all size 18 women are gorging themselves on five Big Macs in one sitting. I think attempting to shame anyone for their size is pretty, darn crappy myself. Find your own happy and embrace it. Whatever number is on the label in your dress...

RTFT RedRain.

OP I think I love you

And this is why the NHS will. not survive. As it stands we already waste 10% of our budget on gluttony.

Why stop at food, why not drink as much as you like, smoke as much crack, life is too short #YOLO

The thing is, what you describe is just what many slim people do anyway. They eat a balanced diet. They get exercise and they have lots of vegetables and fresh, unprocessed foods in general with limited processed foods and limited alcohol. This, with exercise results in a healthy body.

It's not "judgemental" to say being overweight is bad for you

No, it's just incorrect.

Funny how no one ever mentions our growing aging population as one of the biggest strains on our NHS.

I hear you too. I'm sick if trying to give myself rules and so I only have two now

1. dont bother with heavily proceeded foods. So it's a no to shop bought cake/biscuits/crisps/ready meals/sweets and a yes to homemade crumble and natural yogurt with raspberries

2. eat mostly veg and protein

3. change my snacking habits