only wanting my son to wear certain styles of clothes?

[SkytecBlue]

DH wants to dress our 2 year old in mismatched/ kiddy printed baby type clothes. Do you know what I mean? Like a bright blue dinosaur covered coat, bright yellow t shirt with Winnie the Pooh on etc etc
I prefer to dress him in outfits that look "cool". And if not cool, at least colour coordinated. And match his socks to his outfit too.
It's not a contentious issue, I can obviously live if he doesn't wear the clothes I like, but DH thinks I'm unreasonable to even CONSIDER thinking of dressing him in a certain style or a particular way?

But then I have also argue with DH over the fact he will happily dress the kids (and himself) in creased clothes.

My dad is 3.5 now but since she was 2 she has insisted on choosing her own outfits, and she will just get undressed or change if I put her in something she doesn't want to wear. Her favourite colour is orange, so I buy mainly that, minimal pink (she doesn't like it) and then jeans, leggings etc and let her choose herself. She comes up with some right creations! Everything is clean and in good condition so I think she looks loved.

Saying that, I see what you're saying. I don't see anything wrong with you dressing your lo how you want, but I think you should extend the same courtesy to your dh.

dd not dad!!

Once mine were at that stage, I did try to minimise the 'mismatching' pain by choosing plain(ish) bottoms and more bright/patterned tops .

My DC have worn exactly what they wanted, except school uniform, since they were about that age. Do you want him to ask you to pick out his outfits for him when hes 40.

Mars maybe we have a different definition of smart and matching.

I think my baby always starts the day looking smart and ends it looking like an explosion in a food factory. I just dress him without much thought in clothes grabbed from his drawer, but I would find it harder to massively mismatch or clash than not to.

Blue leggings, white vest, cardigan, socks maybe a body warmer if it's cold. Comfy, practical normal boring most of the time. But, yeah, he looks smart until he starts eating, at which point he starts to look scruffy

I genuinely think it must be more work to achieve clashes and mismatches on a daily basis, although easier with summer clothes.

I find it totally strange that so many people think dressing smartly means discomfort or impractical.

And that's a really nasty biscuit Bathsheba given the OP's DS has a developmental age of 6 months. I'm sure she would love him to pick out his own clothes, but the thread isn't about that.

Think it's important to read updates from the op but equally op don't drop feed.

Drip feed even

I find it totally strange that so many people think dressing smartly means discomfort or impractical.

Possibly because it can descend into that - frilly restrictive dresses - though my girls still climbed trees in that much to GP horror.

We've gone past religious conventions where very young boys are dressed in full suits and ties - what really shocked me they were on the beach like that later as well.

Though I sure the Op is talking more style and colour - and is finding comfortable clothes that match her tastes.

However her DH is still feeling pushed out and it's causing arguments. Personally if they are going down park to get muddy why is having matching clothes important and more important than father son bond?

It's just clothes - unimportant most days unless it's not really about clothes and then DH need to have that explained to him.

If the boy isn't expressing any preference then the child' comfort and practical considerations are most important things though yes you can have style as well - though it could just be that DH style preferences differ to OP.

Given the delay I think Bathsheba needs to apologise

I have a family member who still gets dressed by others and is 40. He's severely disabled. I'm sure he'd love to pick out his clothes if he could

Extremely insensitive

So most people just head to the cupboard and pick completely random items then? Why? I can't imagine doing this when dressing myself, why would you do this for your child?

As long as the clothes are clean, weather appropriate and comfortable that's all that matters to the child.
Yanbu to dress him in matching clothes but YABU to lay out out fits for your DH to dress him in. Creased mismatched clothing will do him no harm at all.
It's one of those things that's just not worth arguing over.

Gosh so much reverse snobbery on here about wanting to dress your child nicely. op most mums in the real world love to dress their children nicely in cute outfits. Its fun! I myself am a boden and joules addict. My two year old looks adorable in it. He couldn't give two hoots what he is wearing. He is totally oblivious so I will enjoy while I can before he starts asking for horrible cartoon clothes etc. Mind you I am lucky if i can find one matching pair of socks never mind socks to mtch his oufit so i salute you for that. Enjoy dressing you little boy in what you like and tell your dh you are in charge of his clothes.

How is it reverse snobbery or indeed any kind of snobbery?

Have to say by 2 all of mine were very vocal about clothes, dds and dss.

However ops case is of course different.

I think some have posted without reading your update op and didn't mean yo upset you.

Enjoy dressing you little boy in what you like and tell your dh you are in charge of his clothes.

So, the boy's other parent has no say whatsoever.

I taught children with SN for many years. Believe me, even with no/limited language, many of them were quite/very good at showing their opinion and individuality when it came to clothing! SN does not mean passive/no way of expressing preferences. Clothing was something they could touch/look at to choose or reject (Sorry for slight sidetrack).

Enjoy dressing you little boy in what you like and tell your dh you are in charge of his clothes.

Because the Dad is a lesser parent ?

Or the Dad isn't allowed an opinion about his son?

Or because it's not possible the Dad does have a sense of style that is just different to OP ?

Or because Op really needs to get in the position her her DH has to defer everything to her with parenting decisions so she can then get really resentful when he leaves all parenting decisions to her in the future?

I'm just wondering what the logic there is.

If OP behaviour over clothes wasn't bother her sons's Dad there wouldn't have been a row - insisting that she continues to cause resentment and conflict seems odd advice.

Getting her DH to understand or offering compromises would seem a more productive way forward to me. My way or the highway never seems to go over well IME.

Well, I'm unashamedly confessing to dressing my dd "nicely" at that age. She didn't have many clothes, but everything "went", was practical, comfortable and clean.

I'm probably in the minority but I cringe when I see badly-dressed (imho) kids about. There's just no need for it (dons tin hat).

keeptrudging That's very true. My non verbal, 4yo Ds is extremely opinionated about he wears. Brightly coloured trousers, a top with minions/buses/batman on and then a black peacoat and biker boots (like daddys) usually. He will strip off and replace anything that he decides not to wear. I just make sure it's weather appropriate and clean.

Op yabu and yanbu. It's fine to dress him as you want but equally your dp should get a say when he dresses him. Nothing wrong with either way.

There is a you tuber DH likes who only wares the same colour top and trousers - bulk buys them. Found it easier with filming and doesn't care enough about clothes to have variety. Have a limited range of clothes that mix well together so less choice generally?

Or pair clothes up in wardrobe - trousers and tops that go on same hangers to cut down on miss matching and quick to grab clothes that go? less chance of DH making decision you don't like OP unless it's deliberate without being so obvious about it. It's a time saving thing I've seen suggested for adult's - you grab know it will all go together at times like morning when time might be limited.

Only have clothes you both like or can at least live with in clothes storage?

WTF is wrong with matching a child's socks to the rest of their clothes. That's pretty normal IMO.

I have 3 DC and still get annoyed at some of the combinations DH thinks are acceptable. But he has put DD1 in DD2's clothes despite DD1 telling him very vocally they are the wrong clothes (she was about 3 at the time and DD2 was 18months, they didn't fit the poor girl). When they were having photos taken he rejected my choices (jeans and t-shirts that were nice brands, clean and fitted and the colours not clashing) and let the DC choose, DD1 wore a stained hand-me-down dress and cardigan she had grown out of. Because obviously I want all the extended family to have a photo of my child looking as dishevelled as possible. Grrr.

Don't know why it surprises me, he has no taste when he dresses himself either (clothes aren't truly comfy until they have a few holes apparently) and since he works in IT looking like something the cat dragged in is obligatory.

Sorry maybe I have missed the point but I got the impression dh puts the kids in mismatching clothes because he doesn't care/ doesn't see they are mismatched. Why would he have a strong opinion on putting them in mismatched clothes?
My dh is a bit rubbish at dressing ours so I lay clothes out for him if I get the chance. I buy everything so I know what he has. Maybe this is old fashioned to some people but it doesn't make him a "lesser parent" for goodness sake.

Sorry maybe I have missed the point but I got the impression dh puts the kids in mismatching clothes because he doesn't care/ doesn't see they are mismatched. Why would he have a strong opinion on putting them in mismatched clothes?

Reading first post DH seems to like dinosaur brightly coloured clothes and Op likes cool outfits. I'm not sure those are the same clothes.

So it could be he's mismatching and not caring, in which case reducing mismatching could be a way forward.

Or he could have a completely different idea what the boy should be wearing favouring the really bright fun covered in pictures boy clothes there are for sale - while OP likes less of that. Thus he may feel just as strongly as the OP.