only wanting my son to wear certain styles of clothes?

[SkytecBlue]

DH wants to dress our 2 year old in mismatched/ kiddy printed baby type clothes. Do you know what I mean? Like a bright blue dinosaur covered coat, bright yellow t shirt with Winnie the Pooh on etc etc
I prefer to dress him in outfits that look "cool". And if not cool, at least colour coordinated. And match his socks to his outfit too.
It's not a contentious issue, I can obviously live if he doesn't wear the clothes I like, but DH thinks I'm unreasonable to even CONSIDER thinking of dressing him in a certain style or a particular way?

But then I have also argue with DH over the fact he will happily dress the kids (and himself) in creased clothes.

"it's no additional effort to put the co-ordinating ones on, surely?!"

But maybe the husband does think that the things he puts on co-ordinate?

KatharinaRosalie nobody has said anything remotely along the lines of children should never brush their hair and should wear their siblings' dirty clothing from the laundry basket.

People have said the DH has as much right to dress his kid according to his taste as the OP does, if he is the one doing the dressing, and that is not invalidated if he likes a whinnie the pooh T shirt under a dinosaur coat, or isn't interested in matching socks... The OP has said she puts outfits out because her DH can't be trusted to choose matching outfits, and this has caused a row.

Her DH is U to criticise the OP for choosing matching outfits but

The OP is very U to dictate what her DH dressed their mutual child in -

The DH isn't putting non outfits out for her to dress their child in even though he doesn't like the matchy "cool" and prefers a colourful, casual, age appropriate baby/ young toddler look but she is putting her choice of outfits out for him to dress the child in because she only wants her child to dress in matching "cool" outfits even when she is not the one putting the clothes on him.

I'm quite particular about how my boys dress so very few logos, characters etc. They are fine with that, they are able to choose whatever combos they want. I'm quite impressed with my 7 year olds sense of style, my almost 6 year old is an eclectic dress and my 3 year old just wants to wear shorts or green things regardless of the weather. They don't need characters to express themselves.

This is why I only buy clothes that I like - for both aesthetic and practicality reasons. DS picks his own clothes out, he's 3, and he can't go wrong because I've made sure that everything he owns is suitable for his age and activities. I change what's in his drawers depending on the season - so no shorts in winter, so he doesn't expect to be able to wear them. He starts nursery after the Easter holidays and will have a nursery "uniform" of jogging bottoms and the nursery polo shirt to wear when he's there.

In the OP's situation, I can understand he wanting her DS to look 'put together' with his outfits.

Obviously I was being facetious here.

But plenty of people have said that matching outfits mean you treat your son like a toy, and having matching pair of socks is as good as it gets.

I do agree that if DH is dressing him, he should get to choose, though.

Am with you OP, you won't always get them to dress how you want so make the most. I take huge pleasure in choosing and putting outfits together for my child, she is now 5 and still happy to wear what I put out for her. I will give in and buy her character tops etc if she asks for them though. I have to say- it seems to be a very middle/ upper class thing to have children looking mismatched etc, I must be very working class/common

I think you're in danger of pushing his Dad out of parenting a bit- what his Dad feels about dressing his son shouldn't be instantly dismissed.

2 year old who is developmentally at 6 months - if this is the reason why you feel so strongly about the clothes an attempt to minimise how much he stands out or show he's loved in some way - why can't you explain this to your DH? Something along lines of I feel/I'm worried about him being looked down on when out and about and the clothes being matched help me deal with this or perhaps it's something about your DS you can control at the minute. If it's not actually about clothes explain that to him.

My children had very firm ideas about clothes from very young ages and I have two muck magnets - where them being clean or in none ripped clothes was a plus. My DH would put them in anything he found in their draws even if they had obviously grown out of them or were another child's apparently it was beyond him to check size labels or actually look at the clothing size and the child size and compare .

My also DH used to drive me mad when they were younger - constant checking what can he could feed them - it got irritation fast so IMO you don't want your DH in few year time doing constant checks with you over clothes.

I love matching socks and co-ordination. Unfortunately my DD now chooses her own clothes. My DP sends me photos of her outfits when I'm at work just to wind me up. .

I have to say- it seems to be a very middle/ upper class thing to have children looking mismatched etc,

Dangerous territory! (But I know what you mean. That whole Boden thing of stripes, spots and flowers all on one item because it's FUN. Not for me, thanks.)

I thought mismatched was upper/working class and matching was middle class.

I know, am anticipating a pasting for that one! But you have written exactly what I think too!

YABU to want to dress your DS in matching clothes while you can. I loved choosing matching outfits (including those super-cute teeny tiny socks) when both my children were little. Why would I put mismatched clothes on them when they had outfits I'd chosen to match? I'm not talking head to toe Burberry BTW. Once they were older, they had more input and i would buy clothes they liked, but I would still encourage them to choose ones that roughly went together (not hideously clashing).

YABU however to override your DH's choice of clothing when he's dressing DS (even if it's horrific) . There is a bit of a trend which seems to be about making your child look like they've been dragged through a hedge backwards, which is actually harder work than just choosing the matching outfit, so DH is maybe just bang on trend!

Haha lweji!!

Poor OP getting all of this stick and reverse snobbery for attempting to dress her son smartly.

It sounds like the husband is the one who complains more that he doesn't like the coordinated outfits OP chooses, so it's working both ways. Easiest thing to do is both bite your tongues when the other one dresses DS.

Matching/ cool doesn't equal uncomfortable, unsuitable or shallow. I'd say that's a nasty jump a lot of people are making.

And to the poster who cringes at matching toddlers - you must spend a lot of time cringing. Most kids look mostly coordinated most of the time. It takes no effort. It's normal.

Whoever dresses the child that day should choose! As someone else said, you don't have much time left before the child expresses a preference. My DD was doing this by 3, although DS pretty much wears anything I get him - has only ever rejected a few items...
It's fun to choose your young child's clothes. I miss putting together the cute outfits, so I can see where you're coming from on that, but you need to let your husband choose when it's his turn as well.

In fact, to fully embrace this, your DH needs to get him into a tutu and wellies. I've never actually seen a small boy in a tutu (and I'm quite oldish), but apparently it's a 'thing' .

Re class: the messy children in mismatched outfits I would class as 'aspirational', trying to look like they're laid - back eco parents of 'spirited' children.

I think there is a world of clothing choices in between throwing on mismatched, clashing combos and dressing/treating your child as an accessory. It's a bit of a leap, is it not, to assume the OP is shallow, would be better off with a doll etc just because she's not keen on wildly mismatched stuff?

Having said that, I do think whichever parent dresses the child that day should get the choice.

I know, am anticipating a pasting for that one!

I think you should start a thread to give the subject a proper airing, Thinnest. You could call it 'The Badly Dressed Middle Class'. Can't see a single thing that could go wrong with that.

^^

I always saw it as my little treat to turn them out nicely. I only bought things I loved, (lived in petit bateau at sales time...I feel wistful walking past that shop now). No logos and no football tops. My dh had zero interest in what they wore and was delighted that I pick their clothes for them as it was one less thing to do in the mornings. The only time they were ever mismatched was when I went away for a weekend, and they came to meet me dressed in pyjamas (it was early afternoon). Gosh, have something in my eye...

I've made it through 13.5 years of motherhood without yielding much ground on how I'd like my kids to dress. Fortunately, my husband and kids are uninterested.

Caring about how your kids look hardly means they're 'accessories' .

Poor OP getting all of this stick and reverse snobbery for attempting to dress her son smartly.

I dress my smarty on occasions - especially if I was going somewhere I felt it necessary.

I didn't bother as much if we were down the park - as you just want them to play. I remember one child in party dress in park who was never allowed to actually play on anything in case her clothes got dirty or very few things and always left in tantrum tears - never understood that.

Though will admit some of the clothe wider family bought which were truly truly awful or weren't cotton - all mine has eczema and we did tell our wider family they had to be cotton - went missing.

I think perhaps OP should try explaining a bit more to her DH and possibly pick her battles a bit better does very day have to be smart or her choice or is there room to be a bit more flexible.

I find it funny how op is berated for wanting to style her DC smart and matching. I much prefer seeing a child maintenced and groomed that a parent who isn't remotely bothered that their child aren't smart and presentable. Clothes don't need to be expensive but just the effort put in to make sure they are cared for. I've seen some poor child dressed in clothes too small, dirty or stained clothes and ripped clothes. Think OP has gotten alot of stick for nothing.

YANBU

I can still remember being in labour with ds2, barely able to speak through contractions when I saw the 2 year old who'd been dressed by his dad and said 'where the fuck did you get that outfit?'!

He's always had an uncanny knack for finding random things at the back of wardrobes.

Matching socks?!! Dd1 had them off so fast the colour was no more than a blur. Taking ALL her clothes off at the bus stop whilst I was wrestling with the buggy was a favourite trick too...

Yes but at least if they were all matching people wouldn't judge you so much .

Despite matching outfits, my children still went out and got muddy/dirty - I didn't expect them to stay clean!