only wanting my son to wear certain styles of clothes?

[SkytecBlue]

DH wants to dress our 2 year old in mismatched/ kiddy printed baby type clothes. Do you know what I mean? Like a bright blue dinosaur covered coat, bright yellow t shirt with Winnie the Pooh on etc etc
I prefer to dress him in outfits that look "cool". And if not cool, at least colour coordinated. And match his socks to his outfit too.
It's not a contentious issue, I can obviously live if he doesn't wear the clothes I like, but DH thinks I'm unreasonable to even CONSIDER thinking of dressing him in a certain style or a particular way?

But then I have also argue with DH over the fact he will happily dress the kids (and himself) in creased clothes.

If I can get any clothes on my two year old I chalk that up as a win!

At 2 years I expected my child to get dirty every day, lose a sock or two, clothes torn on her knees and elbows. Treating her like a fashion accessory wouldn't have worked - still doesn't because while she loves being dressed up, one visit to a park and the sight of a first puddle turn her into a little wild monster.

Just to add: Reading your later comment I understand where you are coming from. It seems to me you feel like mismatched clothes are a show of disrespect towards your son by your DH because of his special needs and you want to maintain his dignity. I think this is a very decent and loving thing to do and I hope you can communicate this to your DH so you can be in this together.

I think it would be a good idea for your DH to seek some counselling to help him come to terms with DS's condition.

I don't agree with this at all. Maybe he needs counseling or maybe he doesn't but you can't possible deduce that he does just by what he chooses to dress his kid in.

Fools, OP detailed some other stuff like him talking about having a third child which might suggest it would be an idea.

YANBU - jeez cannot believe some of the replies I've read here. he's your child, as long as he's clean and comfortable then you go right ahead and dress him in whatever you like. I have 2 boys and I too like them to look smart and well put together and whist I'm not uptight about their clothing like some other mums I see whose kids aren't even allowed an ice-cream I also wouldn't want them to go out looking like a bag of old mismatched rags. We take pride in our appearance as a family and that's our decision. As the eldest has got older he has requested minecraft hoodies and similar and that's fine too. Balance.

Also, as an aside. Older children can be cruel. Despite being fairly well off my mum would never buy me the 'in' trainers etc. because she felt they were a waste of money, they probably were but I got ribbed mercilessly at school. Not saying that's right and I know we should all teach our kids to be individuals but I was desperate for the 'in' trainers. Just saying.

You are UR to care about what your husband dresses him in. Totally R to dress him in whatever you like yourself. I don't get the snobbishness on MN over (shock) choosing clothes you like the look of for your child.

I'm sorry, I did the cardinal sin of not bothering to read the thread I didn't notice it had multiple pages.

I used to like choosing what the dses wore, when they were little. And I did like what they wore to 'go' together - dh was not bothered by this, and to be fair, I am not sure why it mattered to me that their socks matched their shirt or whatever - but it did matter a bit, and I don't think it did any harm.

Their clothes were picked primarily for comfort and practicality, so whatever they wore, they could run, climb, play in - and if it looked nice too, that was a little benefit for me.

I think it was partly because, as someone who's very overweight, it was hard (and expensive) for me to feel I looked nice, but it cost much less to give the boys nice clothes.

And the time when you can chose what your children wear passes like a flash, and they get, and can express, opinions of their own. I now have an 18-year-old, a 20-year-old and a 22-year-old - and they all have very different senses of style.

The eldest likes tweed, brogues, expensive shirts and wool jumpers - he is a stylish grandad, basically. No2 lives in sports gear, though he has been known to go to the supermarket in a santa onsie, with bright royal blue nylon shorts (long, baggy ones) over the top. The 18-year-old likes labels, skinny jeans and looking cool.

My dh loves to buy clothes and dreas our son and he has pretty good taste so i just let him run with it. Nothing at all outrageous, always weather and activity appropriate etc and always age appropriate too. Ds always has colour coordinated outfits (including socks) but it is mainly as that is how it is bought, to match. His clothes, even tshirts and soft joggers type trousers are always ironed. Dh does all his and ds ironing on a sunday when watching football. I think it is cute that he puts thoughts and efforts into it.

If your husband

The "he's a CHILD not a DOLL" brigade - jog on! So predictable. As it happens, all children's stuff comes from the charity shop round here - but it's stuff I like, usually plain, bright colours, anything with an ugly print is not even bought in the first place. Almost always one printed element in every "outfit", because they are cute and where's the fun if kids can't wear a lovely print? But I don't like it when every single item is over-embellished, printed, stripy, patterned and stained. You can barely see the child underneath.

YANBU. If your husband didn't care either way, then I'd not have an opinion. But for him to actively try and prevent you from dressing your kid the way you want - how weird!

YANBU. I don't want my kids going out looking like a dog's dinner i try not to go out looking like one so why would I think it ok to send my children out like that? It's not a question of looking cool, more that I'd rather they looked presentable and learned to take care of their appearance. I'll probably be castigated for my comment

YANBU to a certain extent, the cool part is maybe a bit far but being dressed in comfortable, clean, matching clothes is rather nice.Like posts have said you can only do this for so long until some children express a preference.2 out of my 3 DC were quite happy with my choices the 3rd picked certain colours etc in suitable styles.How your child behave and look reflect on you as a parent.I'm not saying you should dress them up in designer gear mind as always children should be allowed to play and not be afraid to get their clothes grubby.I had a friend who would live in fear of either of her children getting a dreaded STAIN on any of their clothes

Yeah, i tried to dress my DS1 in "cool" styles when he was a toddler. Comlplete waste. He didn't understand it anyway, and was a very mucky pup.

I have a developmentally delayed (ASD and LDs) teen son. And I make sure he is wearing whatever is the look of the moment...whether it's a Superdry jacket, Jack Wills or certain colour chinos or whatever... because he has difficulties that make him different and one thing I CAN do is ensure he looks like he fits in; it matters very little when they are tiny as long as they are clean and appropriate, BUT I felt very strongly even when he was a toddler that I wanted him to look good. He didn't walk for a few years so it had to be comfy and soft...but it matched because I like matching! He wasn't an accessory and he definitely isn't now... he couldn't care less what he is wearing and tends to eat his t shirts anyway but I still make sure he looks like other teens.

But here might not be the best place to admit I colour co-ordinated my older three until they were about 6 All three.. each a year apart..girl -boy-girl wore coordinated clothes.. I look back fondly on the little matching dungarees and stripy shorts

If I could I'd choose my dh's clothing as he lives in shorts and knackered old t shirts and he could look so handsome if he'd let me dress him... ok I may have issues

God people are very quick to be judgmental on mumsnet...I thought all mums wanted their kids looking nice and that can mean different things to different people. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. I know exactly what you mean SkytecBlue I also wanted my child in things that went together but my partner used to stick him in any old thing, annoying but a bit different to your situation, in that my partner didn't care (or was potentially colour-blind!!). Maybe you could compromise and dress your children on different days....or like the previous poster says, ensure that all your children's clothes go together (capsule wardrobe lol!!) so that it becomes a non-issue!
Hope you get it resolved :-)

God people are very quick to be judgmental on mumsnet

Yes, some people do. Even those who judge whole boards from a few threads.

YANBU. Nothing wrong with making sure your child looks nice in clothes that go with each other. I don't treat my DD like a doll, she is rarely in a dress but I do make sure her top and jeans/leggings coordinate and don't clash with colours/patterns. She is starting to develop her own tastes now and she will veto something in a shop if she doesn't like it and I respect that but I do lay her outfits out every day to make sure they are OK.

YANBU. I know what you meant, I'm a bit ?? as to why other posters are saying you are dressing a doll. No I don't want my kid to wear clown clothes unless they choose them. I also didn't like logos, themes, political opinions or brands emblazoned on ds clothes, or anything like that either on ds when he was a baby.

The fact now that he dresses exactly as he did when he was a year old (khaki pants and polo or jeans a t-shirt) - and he's 14 now - is totally up to him. Other people can dress their babies exactly as they like - clown clothes or not - but I didn't want ds looking that way either.