only wanting my son to wear certain styles of clothes?

[SkytecBlue]

DH wants to dress our 2 year old in mismatched/ kiddy printed baby type clothes. Do you know what I mean? Like a bright blue dinosaur covered coat, bright yellow t shirt with Winnie the Pooh on etc etc
I prefer to dress him in outfits that look "cool". And if not cool, at least colour coordinated. And match his socks to his outfit too.
It's not a contentious issue, I can obviously live if he doesn't wear the clothes I like, but DH thinks I'm unreasonable to even CONSIDER thinking of dressing him in a certain style or a particular way?

But then I have also argue with DH over the fact he will happily dress the kids (and himself) in creased clothes.

I worry about my child TBH.

I've seen a few posts with pictures of a beautifully dressed child, with the caption of 'oh my gawd, look at what my husband dressed our child in!!!!! It's so awful!!!!' And I can't for the life of me see whats wrong with it. I carefully pick out an outfit that I think looks lovely and goes together, but I'm probably being judged all day about what an awful parent I am.

I would like to know though, what makes your way the right way? Do the clothing rules come in a booklet, cos I could really do with it.

You may hope your DS doesnt turn out like my DS. Regularly wears pyjamas under school uniform. Swimming cap and goggles on whilst out digging in the garden. Shorts on over trousers. Wellies to go to Asda. All black clothes and hair band round his head because hes a ninja wouldn't know co-ordinated if it was poured over him but by christ he enjoys himself.

I live somewhere where the kids are very carefully dressed to look like the parents don't care. At a recent toddler group I counted 7 pairs of scruffy dungarees (typically teamed with wellies and home knit jumpers) that are a brand that to my knowledge can only be ordered from the States or bought on eBay at a silly price.

Of course you are not being unreasonable by wanting to dress your child nicely. By 'kept' I assumed you meant 'well cared for' and it's normal to have a preference about clothes, whether your own or whoever else it is you are dressing.

As a pp said, whoever is dressing DS gets to choose, until he starts to express a preference of his own. I think it's totally weird that your husband is bothered that you want to dress him in coordinated outfits, unless you spend a fortune on them.

My son is nearly one, so doesn't care what he wears. When dressing him, I do make the effort to put him in clothes that match because that's what I do for myself. It requires about 10 seconds of thought and is a totally normal thing to do.

Isn't this like driving? Whoever is driving gets to chose what's on the radio.

I think if your DH is dressing the kid then he gets to decide what he wears. It's a bit to be telling him what to do about something like this.

Did you see the thread about little petty revenges. . I wonder if your DH will start dressing you son in ever increasingly 'bad' outfits just to be arse'y. I would

I admit I liked my DC in certain outfits so I do understand why your do too, I just think you should leave you DH to do what he wants too.

Not sure whether YABU or not.

If you have the time and money to dress him how you like then good for you, assuming the clothes are not hurting or restricting him.
If you leave out an outfit for the next day and one in the change bag that is sensible and helpful.

DH gets the same rights though, especially if they are going out without you, or to his folks. He may be getting a bit of stick from his friends or family, or he may simply have his own tastes. If he's getting pressured he may not want to admit it especially if he agrees with them.

Unless you are taking DC out or going to your folks I think you should probs just relax and look away and pick your battles, as this really isn't important.

Have a couple of great outfits in the change bag for emergencies :)

I wouldn't have a problem with either styles tbh - co-ordinated cool kids look cute, as do mismatched kids.

Comfort and practicality should come first though, for 2yr olds.

I have preteen/teen boys now and I'm just thankful if they wear fresh pants and socks every day, the horrors

Hmmm, depends how 'matched' you mean...

If I see a badly dressed child (eg mixed prints), I just assume they dressed themselves and smile that they have a personality. Put together is cute for an occasion, but for day to day is a bit OTT.

Yabu. He is your DH's child too.

Seriously. You need to unclench.

If this is really important to you then throw away or pass on all clothes that don't 'go' with all the other clothes. That way your DH can't go wrong.

DH thinks I'm unreasonable to even CONSIDER thinking of dressing him in a certain style or a particular way?
That's a bit unreasonable alright -- he should accept that some people are more visual than he is and give a little on this point.

But then I have also argue with DH over the fact he will happily dress the kids (and himself) in creased clothes.
Oh dearie me.
Life.Is.Too.Short.

This thread has made me literally LOL. I used to get so frustrated when DS1 was little as Sunday was my lie in day and I could absolutely guarantee DS would be dressed as though we were colour blind on Sundays as DH was in charge. DH just didn't care.

By the time DC2, 3 and 4 came along, I was just grateful for the extra sleep!

None of this matters. Not if you like the matchy match. Not if your DH likes the creased, dinos with unicorns. You need to let him do what he wants. He needs to leave you on the days you dress him. Stop leaving clothes out for the morning.

Child dressed very vaguely in DD's case for the weather. That's all that actually matters. DD has refused point blank to wear anything but leggings for almost three years.

I actually don't think you're being unfair. I think outfits should match.

However, I don't see why you don't pick a few tops (that would go with jeans, or whatever) and let your DC/DP pick the top - if that makes sense?

OP do you think that you might be particularly sensitive because your ds is developmentally delayed? I know that it really bothers my sister if her dd doesn't look nicely dressed in age appropriate clothes (my niece has significant learning disabilities) because it feels very important to signal that she is loved and cared for.

My dh dressed our children in different combinations than I would have chosen (and vice versa) but we'd have both been pretty pissed off to have our choices dictated by the other parent. Granted our biggest challenge at the time was to get clothes on ds at all (and dd had strong opinions on what she wore very early).

My children have one coat per season. If DS had a blue dinosaur coat he'd wear it every day. Life is too short to consider matching print of coat and t shirt for a 2 year old.

Clothes shopping falls under wifework here so my children only owned clothes I'd chosen at that age. The capsule wardrobe thing does work, though I do it it keep costs and "stuff" down rather than to produce polished children.

My dad and DS are both colourblind and of the opinion that no colours clash, ever. The idea just doesn't compute. Whether this is a colourblindness thing or a bloke thing, I'm not entirely sure, but I suspect they can't be taught to care.

You are both being both reasonable and unreasonable :o

You should just each (IMO) dress your child how you like and leave the other parent to dress them how he/she likes when they do it.

There's nothing wrong with having fun dressing your kid, and there's nothing wrong with not caring either.

I think that you should give your husband some autonomy over what your son wears. My husband and nanny dresses our children in really wacky clothes combinations. It used to annoy me a bit but I kept my mouth shut. It doesn't really matter what children wear. If we are going out somewhere nice, then I pick out something nice for them.

I think that when your DH dresses your child he chooses and vice versa. Laying clothes out because he cannot be trusted is a bit control freakery. But fair enough you want him to look well cared for. But, the items your DH is choosing seems to be age appropriate so that is okay too. YANBU to want to dress your DS in a certain way, but YABU to be very rigid about it. Relax!!

I try and avoid clashing prints but that is about it.But I have some very expensive very beautiful items that make me happy to see DS in, so can see that side too.

DS wears comfortable and practical clothes (so mainly dark jogging bottoms and dark tops which yes do look a bit matching). He wears uniform 5 days a week so it's not really an issue. I let him pick his pants and socks everyday and his cloths at weekends

DD is younger and I still choose her clothes. I don't tend to purposely be over matching but yeah she does often have clothes that 'go'. Not on purpose really... again I tend to buy things in certain colours (she has tons of denim, blue and red) and they just seem to match.

A kept child is one that wears clean clothes and looks fed and healthy.

Not one with colour coordinated outfits.

Yabu

Ds was developmentally delayed and I always wanted him to look 'respectable' because I didn't want to give people something to judge.

I dress my children the way your DH wants to... Because that's my style too. I don't coordinate patterns or colours so I think YABU to suggest that children dressed differently to your preference are "unkept"

I think it's fine to dress your kids however you like as long as it's comfy and appropriate. However leaving outfits out for your dh because he "can't be trusted" is very controlling! surely it doesn't matter how he dresses them if you're not even there?!

Whenever DH dresses the kids or buys clothes for them he chooses combinations I probably choose. He tends to go for the mini-man type clothes. Jeans, polo t-shirt and trainers where I like children's clothes in bright colours and prints.

On a separate point we have a lot of Boden and none of it cost more than a couple of quid thanks to the three or four £10 vouchers dear old Johnny sends out every year. I choose wisely, wash carefully and always make a profit by selling on.