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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Vow Renewal Invitation

167 replies

ILoveACornishPasty · 17/02/2016 18:09

I am completely prepared to be told I'm a tightwad so don't feel the need to hold back!

I've got back from work today to find an elaborate invitation to a vow renewal for our two friends who are back together and renewing their marriage vows after adultery on both sides. They were married five years ago and we attended the wedding and gave a generous gift. Today's invitation comes with a gift list, and the cheapest item on it is £75. I am not a fan of lists like this anyway (separate thread!) but really want to write a note referring them back to their previous gift, the one we have them when they promised not to commit adultery but before they both, er, committed adultery. I can't actually explain why I have found it so irritating....and maybe I am an awful person, but I just feel that it's a bit of a cheek. Any thoughts??

OP posts:
CaptainCrunch · 17/02/2016 18:11

They're grabby fuckers. It's cool they're both willing to make another go of their relationship but involving other people and making a big show of "vow renewal" is just tacky. I'm not surprised you're irritated. I would File In Bin OP.

QOD · 17/02/2016 18:12

Farkin ell

Worra fucking liberty!!!

They are taking the piss to the max

FrackingHell · 17/02/2016 18:12

Shock for real? write the note. maybe I'm an awful person too but not as awful as them Grin

monkeysox · 17/02/2016 18:15

I'd not buy a gift. A card and a bottle champagne maybe
Grabby

ComeonSummer1 · 17/02/2016 18:16

Grabby fuckers,

Go op and but them a box of condoms incase they both feel the call to fuck other people again. Grin

Katenka · 17/02/2016 18:16

We did a vow renewal after splitting and getting back together. 12 years after getting married.

We went abroad, told everyone they could come but were under no obligation to come as it was literally going to be half an hour on a beach. Just for us and the kids, no party afterwards.

Mum and dad came with us.

I think it's really cheeky to ask for gifts etc.

Our vow renewal was very personal (no one cheated) and private thing.

hiddenhome2 · 17/02/2016 18:17

Oh dear, they must be trying to recapture those feelings they had on their Speshul Day Hmm

Perhaps you could offer them £5 towards relationship counselling, which is what they undoubtedly need if they're going for vow renewal after such a ridiculously short time.

MrsBobDylan · 17/02/2016 18:18

Don't go and don't give-the gift list shows what they are motivated by and it ain't true love.

acasualobserver · 17/02/2016 18:18

In effect they are asking for a another set of wedding presents. Find out if this is likely to happen every five years so you can budget accordingly.

More bloody front than Blackpool!

Gatehouse77 · 17/02/2016 18:21

It would decline politely and only respond to a direct question as to why. But they are soooo cheeky!

DH and I got back together after a separation (no adultery) and it was something for just us and our kids to celebrate. We bought new rings, took the kids to collect them and exchanged them all together on the beach!

No way would we have (a) invited anyone else (b) written a gift list!
Unbefuckinglievable!!

WhereYouLeftIt · 17/02/2016 18:23

Write the note.

ghostyslovesheep · 17/02/2016 18:23

A short time ago
A gift we did bestow
Upon your wedding day
But you both had it away
But not with husband or wife
Really! - get a life
so please although I'm happy
be told - you are both grabby

now fuck off :)

ENormaSnob · 17/02/2016 18:24
Shock

Cheeky fuckers Shock

eddielizzard · 17/02/2016 18:27

no. just no.

people can be so fucking self absorbed.

FullMoonDiva · 17/02/2016 18:27

Personally I'd just decline, the grabby twats!

BackforGood · 17/02/2016 18:28

Love Ghosty's poem, Grin but, in RL, I'd probably just decline the invitation, and only say anything if they asked me directly.

PlaymobilPirate · 17/02/2016 18:29

Write the note - they're greedy fuckers. No way would I go either!

DontCareHowIWantItNow · 17/02/2016 18:30

Wow Shock

StealthPolarBear · 17/02/2016 18:32

There surely is an unwritten rule that vow renewals don't get gifts! ! I think flowers or champagne yes, as you would for any party, but not an expensive gift!

harrasseddotcom · 17/02/2016 18:32

I'd probably go if they were good friends, but I certainly wouldnt be buying anything. Maybe a good luck card perhaps ?

MrsMook · 17/02/2016 18:33

Grabby. I'm relaxed about gift lists and cash for weddings, but the traditional purpose is about setting up home together. They've already done that, and it's greedy for the same couple to repeat it especially after a short time.

ILoveACornishPasty · 17/02/2016 18:35

I'm so relieved it's not just me!! I am loving the donation to counselling idea Grin

OP posts:
CoraPirbright · 17/02/2016 18:37

Good grief! I've heard it all now!! Cheeky fuckers!

MrsHathaway · 17/02/2016 18:37

I'm agog and aghast.

I'd be very tempted to reply asking if they were kidding. Otherwise, I think pps' suggestion of condoms is excellent.

Gift list for vow renewal, pah.

thebiscuitindustry · 17/02/2016 18:39

I think it's rude to include a gift list with any invitation, whether it's a birthday, wedding, vow renewal etc.

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