Vow Renewal Invitation

[ILoveACornishPasty]

I am completely prepared to be told I'm a tightwad so don't feel the need to hold back!

I've got back from work today to find an elaborate invitation to a vow renewal for our two friends who are back together and renewing their marriage vows after adultery on both sides. They were married five years ago and we attended the wedding and gave a generous gift. Today's invitation comes with a gift list, and the cheapest item on it is £75. I am not a fan of lists like this anyway (separate thread!) but really want to write a note referring them back to their previous gift, the one we have them when they promised not to commit adultery but before they both, er, committed adultery. I can't actually explain why I have found it so irritating....and maybe I am an awful person, but I just feel that it's a bit of a cheek. Any thoughts??

Send them a

They couldn't even manage 5 years! / bet they don't last another 5, the whole thing just seems madness - I wouldn't go and I certainly wouldn't buy s gift.

K in the minority then

I would take a gift to any party.

If someone throws big birthday parties frequently I'ld bring them a gift each time and not be miffed that they had a gift from me at their last large birthday bash.

Gift lists i think are just pointers for people who want to bring a gift but want some ideas.

I would bring a gift like I would to any party. Maybe a nice wine hamper? I wouldn't spend £75 on anyone though

We are renewing our vows this year. After 25 non adulterous years. A private blessing with our priest, children and surviving parents. Then we are having a huuuge party in a marquee. Very nice invitations. Request for no gifts but voluntary donations if people wish to a charity we are committed to.

Cheeky, very cheeky. Don't think I'd go. Leaves a bad taste.

Condoms and the number of the local STD clinic?

Vow renewal is a nice idea, would have thought private/small group best, but can see how a party for friends/family after is nice, a party is always nice. Then you'd take a bottle of wine/chocolates/something nice if invited, as there would be no grabby gift expectations.

But gift list. Hmm, not so much.

Grabby fuckers.

I suggest the following:

We're delighted to accept your invitation and have made a donation to Relate, the national marriage guidance and counselling charity, in your name.

Think of it as one in the bank.

Love Pasty and Mr Pasty.

Where are they holding this vow renewal? A wedding venue?

lonny that's perfect!

Cheeky fuckers

Cheeky fuckers! We're planning to renew our vows later this year (10th anniversary) and have invited some friends to join us - just our closest mates and their partners/kids - but no way in hell will we be asking for gifts. We're doing a humanist/handfasting service in a tiny wee folly in a forest then have booked and paid for a big house nearby where everyone can stay, eat, drink etc for the weekend. It basically shouldn't cost any of our guests more than the cost of petrol and whatever booze they fancy bringing.

I know some folk on MN frown totally on the idea of renewing though and whatever anyone renewing does would be wrong. But gift lists are really wrong.

DH and i are planning on having a vowel renewal when we've been married for 10 years. This is because our first wedding was grim and i must say it bothers me that it was so miserable. However, i doubt we'd get any presents for our second wedding considering no one bought us any for our first!

Another who cannot believe the cheek.

There is a paperback on Amazon.uk called 'How to stay married forever without going crazy' by someone called Rebecca Fuller. It's under a tenner. Perfect gift to send with a 'thanks but no thanks' decline.

The sheer nerve

They want to be reward for staying together after they both fucked about?

Fuck that!!

I'd make up a hamper of condoms as a PP suggested with a card that says, "For when your vows slip your mind again."

Cheeky fucks.

If they're good friends I'd agree with a previous poster and give a bottle of Champagne or something and avoid the pricey list.

I'd resist the urge to take the pi**. A name plaque for their house "Dunroamin'" would however be both practical and instructional.

You can imagine them looking at things online to include on the list and discussing the minimum price.

"They owe us something nice - can't they see we've suffered?"

Cheeky, cheeky, cheeky! I've never heard of anyone expecting gifts for a vow renewal, let alone asking for them. (I hate vow renewals anyway; they are for narcissistic people who love attention - and, apparently, for couples who commit adultery.)

What is on the list?

Do you and DH actually like these loons, or have to work/otherwise cross paths with them regularly? If not, I'd be seriously tempted to send the note to which you refer in your OP or Lonny's!

I hate vow renewals anyway; they are for narcissistic people who love attention - and, apparently, for couples who commit adultery

I know people who have had family bereavements the day before their wedding and cancelled the reception and just had their ceremony and then have had a renewal a few years later, or like me had a quick rushed wedding and no time to plan a reception so would like to celebrate with my family like other people do on their weddings.

I'd happily lose their friendship for this act of grabby horribleness. They sound quite unpleasant.

Wow, they made it to 5 years?

Cheeky fuckers, just decline.

I would not lose their friendship over a gift list, if you really are friends. I would buy them a drink, but no gift and say nothing. If they are true friends they won't mind.

It's alright MrsKoala, I'll come and sit with you in the narcissistic corner

We had a big wedding but various members of our family ruined it by behaving like utter wankers in the run up to it so whilst it was a "nice" day, it's always felt tarnished.

A gift list for wedding vow renewals! Now I've heard it all! I'd buy them a book on how not to cheat!

WHAT A FANTASTIC IDEA.

I'm off to suggest a spot of light adultery, reconciliation and a present list.