Vow Renewal Invitation

[ILoveACornishPasty]

I am completely prepared to be told I'm a tightwad so don't feel the need to hold back!

I've got back from work today to find an elaborate invitation to a vow renewal for our two friends who are back together and renewing their marriage vows after adultery on both sides. They were married five years ago and we attended the wedding and gave a generous gift. Today's invitation comes with a gift list, and the cheapest item on it is £75. I am not a fan of lists like this anyway (separate thread!) but really want to write a note referring them back to their previous gift, the one we have them when they promised not to commit adultery but before they both, er, committed adultery. I can't actually explain why I have found it so irritating....and maybe I am an awful person, but I just feel that it's a bit of a cheek. Any thoughts??

holte

A gift list for a vow renewal?!

I really have heard it all now. Un.Believable.

I wonder if Hugh Jackman is free for some light frottage. I fancy a new toaster.

"Surely you are shitting me?
A gift for your adultery?"

THIS. PLEASE THIS.

Get them a fly away and tell them you went of list but are sure they won't mind you taking a liberty

Fuck me. I've missed a trick. DH and I are coming up to our 10th wedding anniversary. That's a shed load of extra presents we have missed out. Damn it!

But in all seriousness, I've seen some cheeky things in my time but this one might be heading to Classics.

Oh dear god.......I've actually heard it all now!!

My gob is smacked!!!!

Please post at least some of the list!?!

A friend is having a vow renewal and has requested donations to a charity close to them.if people would like to. That is a lovely thing to do, what your friends are doing is greedy.

Please post the list OP (begging)

But requesting charity donations because they've decided to renew their vows is still kind of presumptuous, Special.

It's not an occasion where gifts should be expected; so announcing that they can be foregone in favour of donating to charity is unnecessary.

Vow renewal after 5 years?!

My parents had one at 25 years. Church wedding followed by wedding breakfast. Cars, bm dresses, hired suits, flowers, wedding gown. The lot. Folllowed by a cruise. Their original wedding day was awful and had none of the traditional
elements of a wedding and was basically my gran getting what she wanted. Lovely day. No gift list but people bought gofts anyway as theymprobably would have done as it was their 25th anniversary.

Id go to the party though. Because im nosy. Id be secretly looking for someone who could become 'too close' to either of them

I'm invited to a 9-year renewal, only reason given is that the original wedding was a bit low key. The 'bride' refers to it as The Wedding and I'm fairly sure the happy couple are expecting gifts....

I'm not a fan of renewals, it's not a first aid certificate ffs, but feel obligated due to the social situation, grrr.

The Wedding Why do people nowadays think you can have two bites at every cherry if the first one wasn't sweet enough?

I don't like vow renewals a wedding day is a one off occassion. I could understand if someone wanted to have one for a 40,50,60 wedding anniversary but not years after the date. Its worse that they been sleeping about making a mockery of marriage to then want a vow renewal and treat it like another wedding! Their in for a big shock when people decline. They shouldn't expect gifts nm 75 pounds worth! I would ignore the invite and not acknowledge it would be suprised if they make it down the aisle a second time.

Please please please post the list....or at least give us a hint or two I'd be tempted to donate to Relate too.

We bought you gifts five years ago
You won't be getting seconds, no!
We won't be coming to your 'do'
But tell the truth - are you on glue?

RUDE RUDE RUDE!

I agree with floggingmolly you shouldn't ask for even donations to charity its rude to expect people would. A wedding is a day not a day every few years. Its the marriage thats important, i don't believe it redoing it because it wasn't perfect the first time.

Sorry, I missed the questions. It's a Debenhams gift list if you please. A £100 rice cooker?? Wtaf??

Do you have children, OP? How would you feel about a second baby shower for your 9 year old as a counter-invitation?

Are you close enough to be honest explain that the expections of presents at vow renewals are not the done thing?

paxillin that made me laugh out loud!!! Heeeeeheeee

Hmmm. Am I honest enough? I'd like to think so but then again I don't want to piss on their chips you know? I'm very glad they've sorted things out and I do honestly adore them but this is so ridiculous and out of character for them I'm not sure how to broach it without taking a sledgehammer to crack a nut!

If you get on really well with them and they're generally sensible I'd just chalk this up to moment of madness/total misunderstanding of the way asking for gifts would be perceived. Maybe they're just trying to think what they'd do if they were organising wedding (being very generous!).

I stick by my earlier comment of go to the do but don't buy anything off the gift list.

I would just say i'm glad its worked out for you two and you want to show your commitent but the expections of gifts after your intial wedding is unrealistic even the gift list and price of the items listed. People will most likely give a bottle of wine or nothing as people don't see it as a wedding especially those who attended and already gave gifts for your wedding.

I'd just decline and send them a card.