Vow Renewal Invitation

[ILoveACornishPasty]

I am completely prepared to be told I'm a tightwad so don't feel the need to hold back!

I've got back from work today to find an elaborate invitation to a vow renewal for our two friends who are back together and renewing their marriage vows after adultery on both sides. They were married five years ago and we attended the wedding and gave a generous gift. Today's invitation comes with a gift list, and the cheapest item on it is £75. I am not a fan of lists like this anyway (separate thread!) but really want to write a note referring them back to their previous gift, the one we have them when they promised not to commit adultery but before they both, er, committed adultery. I can't actually explain why I have found it so irritating....and maybe I am an awful person, but I just feel that it's a bit of a cheek. Any thoughts??

Nooooooo!!!!

It's not just you.

I am appalled, and a bit amused by their total lack of insight

You could ask: "Have our original presents worn out in only five years or did you throw them all at each other?"

Unbelievable . A vow renewal should be a private thing anyway, imo; it's not supposed to be a full reenactment of the original wedding.
And demanding expecting another gift! Not an ounce of class between them.

BalloonSlayer

My first thought was tell them to fuck off to the far side of fuck. Unbelievable.

I would reply declining and saying haha loved the joke about gifts for your vow renewal - I never thought of you as grabby fuckers so it was a joke - right?

Bin.

One public ceremony per marriage is the absolute limit. They've had theirs, regardless of the fact that it apparently didn't take.

Airing their sleazy personal problems and actually expecting gifts for so doing is so completely beyond tacky that there really are no adequate words.

What's on the list? Being that the whole point of gifts and lists is to set the happy couple up in their new home, and they presumably have a toaster...

C'mon now OP, you know you didn't need to ask...

They are being unbelievable, in fact I would question whether they were actually being serious and not joshing everyone. It's just so ridiculous that's it's hard to believe they are genuinely asking for gifts.

Ps, I love a Cornish pasty too. Especially a nice turnip'y one.

Just go and ignore the gift list.

Presumably when you have the gift the first time it wasn't dependent on them staying together so there really isn't any need to comment on their adultery.

I think this calls for a lovely home made card containing really meaningful words for the happy couple. Something like

My family are delighted to find ourselves invited
In your joining back together
And we'd like to wish you well.
Five years may seem forever, since you first got together
Time flies when you're enjoying yourselves
Such fun so I've heard tell.
My only little query and it makes me oh so weary
But I feel your list has put me on the spot
It may come as quite a blow but I have to let you know
From dh and I you've had your bloody lot!

It is awful but so are some of the over the top comments on here.
I would chose a charity like Send A Cow, Cafod and send them a gift card from there. It would subtly get the message across.

Soddit, I've realised that I've missed out here. DH and I could have renewed our vows every 5 years (even without benefit of adultery) and we'd have four sets of presents by now.

I have to admit to being a bit pissed off at being expected to stump up expensively for SiL's second wedding, but at least it was to a different man.

Ha ha! Eva that's brilliant, made me smile.

Did they have their fingers crossed the last time they took their vows?

Make a donation to Relate on their behalf?

I gasped out loud at the £75 cheapest item on the list.

What absolutely dreadful people.

OP please let us know what the gifts on the list are.

"Surely you are shitting me?
A gift for your adultery?"

I am sure we could work up a great response between us.

Ooh maybe I should do this.

I'm getting a new kitchen so there's loads of new stuff I need

I could shag the kitchen designer bloke first (he's hot) and then renew our vows around the time it's complete ready to fill my cupboards with shiny new things!

Sod off comes to mind.
The last wedding invitation we went to had a Gift List....requests for £100 per person towards their exotic honeymoon 😳
We declined......

Wow! That's shocking. Do you have any other mutual friends you can bitch about them with?

So basically you are expected to reward them to the tune of £75 for breaking their vows?

I would be politely declining.

That's priceless

They cheat on each other and split up - ONLY 5 YEARS ago and want you to go to celebrate and buy gifts?

I think I would be being a little bit quieter about it if I were them the cheeky bastards

Man alive! Vow renewal after 5 years?? After infidelity on both sides? She's taking the piss. You don't ask for presents at a vow renewal! If you go, a (good luck) card would suffice, I'd say...

Nobody is going to go to that, what a cheek. It'll just be them, an expensive dress and a huge, nearly-empty, function room in a swish hotel. And in the empty elegance they will have a grumpy argument that will end in divorce.