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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

She did look a bit like a bag lady.

212 replies

hollowlegs · 15/02/2016 16:25

A well-dressed bag lady

If you go against a dress code people WILL comment.
It's an occasion when everybody dresses up to the nines, men and woman.
There's a dress code.

So, if you rock up wearing a scruffy, unfeminine leather jacket and bulky scarf ensemble, then people are going to comment.
When I saw her, my immediate thought was ''wtf is she dressed like that''.
She was obviously trying to prove a point. What that was, God only knows.

Stephen Fry was only saying what most people were all thinking.

OP posts:
iseenodust · 15/02/2016 20:33

I'm not outraged on her behalf.
I'm bored to tears by HIS delight in his own rudeness.

Agree with this ^^. Fry was the host and was rude to the guest. For someone who likes to pass himself off as the educated man about town cultivating bonhomie wherever he goes, it was a serious error of judgment.

ZiggyFartdust · 15/02/2016 20:48

so much as pissed off that someone with a platform and a microphone had just demonstrated to a massive audience that it's ok to call people (OK, women) names and trash talk someone's appearance, even when they've just won an (entirely unrelated and bloody well deserved) award

Yeah, cos thats a totally new thing that noone ever does? Come off it, every woman at these things gets assessed and sized up and judged, and splashed all over mags and papers and trash tv shows. It's naive not to expect it.
Whats the difference with him doing it rather than everyone else?

KimmySchmidtsSmile · 15/02/2016 21:15

Jenny Beavan always dresses down...interviews, pre Oscar cocktail party, women in film awards...she seems to go for a scarf each time, dark trousers, blouson jacket and necklace. The leather jacket seemed incongruous only because (unless the venue is actually freezing) you normally take off your coat indoors and it looked more of an outside jacket than top. Unless it was meant to be dystopianWink (Tom wears a scarf and aged jacket in said film but not leather, think that was Mad Mel's era).
Anyway she is comfortable in her own skin but if it were a bloke doing the same at the golden globes say, you can bet your bottom dollar he would have got similar comment from RG because of the disconnect between job and a total disinterest in making a so-called fashion statement.
Many women of her age: Julie Walters, Maggie Smith, Helen Mirren, Judi Dench perform on the carpet, Jenny doesn't need to. Up to her. I would have used the opportunity to loan a posh dress (all nominees get courted) and/or profile someone up and coming/give 'em a leg up, but I am superficial.
Anyone interested in her talent, some detail here by a fashion blogger, Laura, who knows more about these things than I do:
costume-carousel.blogspot.de/2015/06/attention-to-detail-mad-max-fury-road.html

thebiscuitindustry · 15/02/2016 21:16

Talented woman in artistic field wears non-conforming clothes that she likes. Nothing wrong with that Smile

EDisFunny · 15/02/2016 21:22

Not much has changed in 5 years with the delicate wee soul that is SF: www.telegraph.co.uk/comment/personal-view/8137164/My-Twitter-row-with-Stephen-Fry.html

PirateSmile · 15/02/2016 21:41

SF is featured on a documentary about mental health on BBC1 now. His mental illness sounds horrendous. If you were to watch it you may rethink your 'wee delicate soul' jibe Hmm

zeetea · 16/02/2016 09:14

She couldn't have won either way - if she turned up in a flouncy pink pretty ball gown people would probably write she was too old to wear it or something. I have such little interest in these ceremonies anymore, because the hype around them still boils mostly down to what the women are wearing and who looks the most awful. It's gross. Who gives a shit.
From the outside: major pompous prick insults nice talented lady for wearing something she felt comfortable in.

Stephen Fry is getting very dull. He'll be back on twitter before the 30-day permanent deletion kicks in. Unfortunately.

thebiscuitindustry · 16/02/2016 09:22

the hype around them still boils mostly down to what the women are wearing

Yes. It reminds me of when Cannes reportedly banned women from the red carpet for wearing flats, not heels.

Lweji · 16/02/2016 09:51

I do think that if SF has mental health issues, he'd be better off having a more low key public persona. And stick to nice comments on award ceremonies, or avoid them at all costs.

PirateSmile · 16/02/2016 09:59

Why should people with mental health issues have to be 'low key' or refrain from doing their jobs Hmm

PurpleDaisies · 16/02/2016 09:59

I do think that if SF has mental health issues, he'd be better off having a more low key public persona.

Seriously?!! Hmm

Lweji · 16/02/2016 10:07

Not people in general. Him in particular, if he keeps getting worse because of it.
Particularly when interacting with the public and voicing his opinion. His choice, but then don't complain that it backfires and use his illness as an excuse to be forgiven over and over again.

BlueMoonRising · 16/02/2016 10:27

I watched the BAFTAS. When I saw Jenny Beavan accept her award, what I saw wasn't a leather jacket or a big scarf.

What I saw was a beautiful woman with smiling eyes and a personality that made me immediately think 'I like you!'. No fakery, no bullshit. Just someone that does a good job and got justly rewarded for it.

As for comments like 'these people' expect to be spoken about.

Jenny Beaven isn't a celebrity. She is well known in the field of film, but behind the scenes, not in front of the cameras. Her name is only out there now because Stephen Fry made an ill-judged 'joke'.

I suspect she will not have expected to be spoken about half as much as she has been.

She didn't look like a 'bag lady'. Nor did she look like one of the celebrity attendees. So fucking what?

Where are all the threads about what men wore to the BAFTAS? Oh thats right - there isn't any. Maybe it is time that women started wearing a 'uniform' to stop all this sexist bullshit.

squoosh · 16/02/2016 10:33

Jenny Beavan looked fine, that's her signature look. But I did think Sandy Powell who was also nominated in the Best Costume Design category also looked amazing.

She did look a bit like a bag lady.
Narp · 16/02/2016 10:37

squoosh

homage to David Bowie?

She does look very striking

squoosh · 16/02/2016 10:39

Yes it was an homage to Bowie!

Lweji · 16/02/2016 10:44

it does look like a tribute, yes.

Both of them better than any of these.

She did look a bit like a bag lady.
She did look a bit like a bag lady.
She did look a bit like a bag lady.
Narp · 16/02/2016 10:45

squoosh

She also puts me in mind of Annie Lennox.

What i mentioned earlier is this assumption that costume designers 'make people look nice' and therefore JB should have 'made herself look nice'. As The woman you linked to demonstrates, the artistry is making them portray a character.

Lweji · 16/02/2016 10:46

They look nice to me.

All the others just scream "look at my assets, never mind my talent".

TrueBlueYorkshire · 16/02/2016 11:52

I doubt she was particularly bothered by the comment, it would be like water off a ducks back for anyone successful enough to win such an award.

I was more shocked that they all sit in an Audience looking bored. I think they should put them all around tables and give them loads of booze. Would be a much more fun event for the attendees.

thebiscuitindustry · 16/02/2016 11:57

it would be like water off a ducks back for anyone successful enough to win such an award

I don't know... I expect even successful people can be sensitive.

AuntGertrude · 16/02/2016 12:07

"pissed off that someone with a platform and a microphone had just demonstrated to a massive audience that it's ok to call people (OK, women) names and trash talk someone's appearance, even when they've just won an (entirely unrelated and bloody well deserved) award? Doesn't matter if they were best buddies and thought the in joke was v hilaire if the general public's takeaway was "let's mock people! Lol!"

^ This.

If Stephen Fry wanted to rib his friend for what she wore (I don't think calling someone a 'bag-lady' is much of a joke, to be honest), then he should have done it backstage or at the party afterwards. Not on stage in front of 4.7 million UK viewers who "weren't in on the joke". It sounded like a man insulting a woman for what she was wearing, not a private joke. I'm not "offended on her behalf", just noticing how rude someone can be publicly and tons of people leap to his defence.

And I don't think we can know that she was okay with it. Who would invite the storm of opinion ("It was only a joke") by saying she wasn't okay with it?

MLGs · 16/02/2016 12:19

I thought she looked nice tbh.

Xmasbaby11 · 16/02/2016 12:27

She just looked like a normal person to me. Bag lady is really insulting!

stumblymonkey · 16/02/2016 12:34

Can we please remember though that Fry does have a mental health issue which can cause you to say and do things that you wouldn't otherwise say or do....

I have bipolar disorder too and I'm not saying 100% that his flouncing is to do with his bipolar but it probably is...