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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

She did look a bit like a bag lady.

212 replies

hollowlegs · 15/02/2016 16:25

A well-dressed bag lady

If you go against a dress code people WILL comment.
It's an occasion when everybody dresses up to the nines, men and woman.
There's a dress code.

So, if you rock up wearing a scruffy, unfeminine leather jacket and bulky scarf ensemble, then people are going to comment.
When I saw her, my immediate thought was ''wtf is she dressed like that''.
She was obviously trying to prove a point. What that was, God only knows.

Stephen Fry was only saying what most people were all thinking.

OP posts:
Original poster
hollowlegs · 15/02/2016 18:33

I'm under the impression she was in on the joke and didn't mind.

I guess we'll never know for sure.

OP posts:
LineyReborn · 15/02/2016 18:37

So what? You still wouldn't think she was 'feminine' enough.

ghostyslovesheep · 15/02/2016 18:40

No one should be forced to dress in a way that conforms to other peoples views of 'nice' or 'feminine' ffs - she can wear what she likes

She was being honoured for her work not for her looks or clothing - I'm sure she couldn;t care less what you think

Shakey15000 · 15/02/2016 18:41

Hollow It's my opinion that you are insanely jealous that she won a BAFTA. Add to that, you may feel unable to express yourself by wearing what you wish and feel you must, and expect others, conform to "dress codes".

How terribly outdated Smile

DickDewy · 15/02/2016 18:43

Love the Daily Mash article.

My teenager summed it up for me. He said, 'why are all these people taking offence on someone else's behalf?'

She did look scruffy and probably cared not a jot.

Original poster
hollowlegs · 15/02/2016 18:43

There is usually something controversial, that is either said or happens, most years.
Seems like this was 'it' for this year.

OP posts:
Original poster
hollowlegs · 15/02/2016 18:45

Yes that's me.
Insanely jealous Hmm

OP posts:
JudgeBooby · 15/02/2016 18:49

I KNEW he would delete his Twitter. He hates any kind of criticism, he really does. Anything other than constant praise and he goes off in a huff.

Owllady · 15/02/2016 19:00

Hefzi, thanks for acknowledging my post! :( I still think about those women. I don't know how anyone can joke about it, but I think homelessness and mental illness is so misunderstood and to be fair, Stephen has a mental illness himself, so should think more 're what he says or we should consider ourselves maybe his day/week/month wasn't stable either.

Moln · 15/02/2016 19:02

There's two things though TeenageDickDewy these those initially that reacted to an insult (because that's what it sounded like; 'in' jokes do unless you are, you know, in on it).

Then there is the bit where Stephen Fry threw a tantrum because people weren't in on in joke and thought he was being rude. He retweeted all the fawning praising tweets and got insulting to those that weren't. The deleted his Twitter account, again.

Two separate things. No good trotting out the getting insulted on another's behalf line, if the person is talking about the puerile insecure behaviour. Separate things.

And yet we STILL don't know what the woman in question thought (do we?). Maybe she's fine with it, or maybe she can't say because of the hissy fit that will ensue if she does. Who knows?

hefzi · 15/02/2016 19:19

Owl you are more charitable than I am! He may well be having problems at the moment, but I am afraid I just rolled my eyes and thought, "typical" Blush

Shakey15000 · 15/02/2016 19:21

Thought so.

TheCatsMeow · 15/02/2016 19:26

Just googled it and yes she did.

DeoGratias · 15/02/2016 19:28

People can wear what they like. Some people are more into dressing up than others.

RaskolnikovsGarret · 15/02/2016 19:31

How strange, I googled it after these threads and thought she looked fine. And I honestly don't know a single person who cared about what their guests wore at their wedding. Takes all sorts I suppose.

PirateSmile · 15/02/2016 19:33

Jenny Beaven is 65 and looks fantastic for her age.

Floisme · 15/02/2016 19:33

DeoGratias It's not often I say this but I totally agree with you Grin

ZiggyFartdust · 15/02/2016 19:34

Isn't there a bit of a tradition of being rude to recipients of awards by hosts at these daft shindigs

Yes, and there should be. These people get massive amounts of money, attention, fame and adulation for what? Pissing about playing dress up and acting and singing and shit.
Which I'm very glad they do as life would be much duller about it, but why not poke a bit of fun at them while we're throwing awards and cash at them?

PirateSmile · 15/02/2016 19:40

I think that insults have become the norm at these events. Perhaps the reason why some people are so shocked is because she isn't well known. Had she been Cate Blanchett we all would've felt we were in on the joke?

I really hope Stephen Fry is OK. I fear he looked a little nervous last night and mental health can be so fragile sometimes.

Original poster
hollowlegs · 15/02/2016 19:55

These people get massive amounts of money, attention, fame and adulation for what? Pissing about playing dress up and acting and singing and shit.
Which I'm very glad they do as life would be much duller about it, but why not poke a bit of fun at them while we're throwing awards and cash at them?

Ziggy, that's a refreshing way of looking at it.
You can see these stars are up for a bit of mild ribbing (evidenced on the 'love cam' when they were were shown snogging their neighbors) You could see they were loving it and playing up to the cameras.
The really big stars, especially, must get fed up with having to attend all the ceremonies and I bet they secretly love having their legs pulled. I bet it relieves the boredom somewhat.

Pirate, I hope Stephen Fry is OK as well.
I'm sure he will be.

He has a fantastic sense of humor, (even if he does push the boundaries a bit at times)

I'm really looking forward to that program that he's in, on MH issues. It should be good

OP posts:
Owllady · 15/02/2016 19:59

I don't think costume designers do get loads of money. She's obviously very successful but it's extremely competitive and she will have worked extremely hard to get where she has.

I hope they are both ok tbh. Hefzi :o

WanderingTrolley1 · 15/02/2016 20:11

I thin she looks fine.

WanderingTrolley1 · 15/02/2016 20:11

*think

honeyrider · 15/02/2016 20:19

My first thoughts when I saw her accept her award was that she could at least made an effort and not look so scruffy. I never liked SF but could see it was a joke.

djini · 15/02/2016 20:25

Is it possible that some people at least weren't outraged on her behalf so much as pissed off that someone with a platform and a microphone had just demonstrated to a massive audience that it's ok to call people (OK, women) names and trash talk someone's appearance, even when they've just won an (entirely unrelated and bloody well deserved) award? Doesn't matter if they were best buddies and thought the in joke was v hilaire if the general public's takeaway was "let's mock people! Lol!"