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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

She did look a bit like a bag lady.

212 replies

hollowlegs · 15/02/2016 16:25

A well-dressed bag lady

If you go against a dress code people WILL comment.
It's an occasion when everybody dresses up to the nines, men and woman.
There's a dress code.

So, if you rock up wearing a scruffy, unfeminine leather jacket and bulky scarf ensemble, then people are going to comment.
When I saw her, my immediate thought was ''wtf is she dressed like that''.
She was obviously trying to prove a point. What that was, God only knows.

Stephen Fry was only saying what most people were all thinking.

OP posts:
PerspicaciaTick · 15/02/2016 17:04

Perhaps she doesn't want to look like Judi Dench? Who does have a very distinctive red carpet style of her own.
Or is the concern that the bulky scarf hid her cleavage? Rather than being draped over one shoulder?

specialsubject · 15/02/2016 17:04

So I watched the clip. The event appears to be black tie/formal, and that means you make an effort. Doesn't mean it has to be a cleavage-out sparkly frock and fugly heels, but she looked like she had just got back from walking the dog.

there are the right clothes for occasions. Being a 'cool rebel' makes teens look like arses and doesn't do anyone older any favours.

PurpleDaisies · 15/02/2016 17:04

It's bizarre. It's an awards evening. For receiving awards. She won and award, she received it. That is ALL she had to do. And she did it well.

This.

Original poster
hollowlegs · 15/02/2016 17:06

Ilostitintheninetes
If SF does know her and it's an 'in' joke between them, then it's kind of funny how everybody is so 'outraged on her behalf'

People do so love to be outraged on the behalf of others.

OP posts:
Helmetbymidnight · 15/02/2016 17:07

I think she looks fabulous. Why not look like that?

This is what older women look like when they haven't had the hollywood beauty regime.

PerspicaciaTick · 15/02/2016 17:07

OP - you aren't laughing at the in joke though, are you? You are being outraged at her inappropriate outfit.

TheSpottedZebra · 15/02/2016 17:08

I love this thread. The faux outrage, and the 'helpful tips' on what she could wear.

She's an extremely successful costume designer, she's worked across genres and media and understands the power of a look. I suspect she has access to loads of clothes and costumes too.

So its very probable that she wore exactly what she wanted to wear.

CooPie10 · 15/02/2016 17:08

I too thought she looked scruffy and couldn't be bothered. BUT I would never say this to anyone regardless of it being a 'joke' especially in public and putting them on the spot.

MamaMary · 15/02/2016 17:08

I can't stand Stephen Fry: he proven himself to be a misogynistic twat on plenty of occasions.

And a pathetic cry-baby who storms off Twitter in a strop at the slightest criticism. (E.g. he threatened to leave when someone said his tweets were 'boring'. They were right. He is a bore).

As for the lady, I'd never heard of her but I thought she looked fine and, yes was rocking the leather jacket. Why are women judged on their appearance - why does Fry feel he can belittle and humiliate her publicly: i don't care if she said she was fine with it - it still was a cheap joke at her expense - not a clever form of humour at all. But then I've never found Fry either remotely funny OR clever.

Just a massive twat full of his own self-importance.

Original poster
hollowlegs · 15/02/2016 17:09

She looked alright, as in dressing to walk the dog alright..
Fabulous? That's pushing it a bit.

OP posts:
Helmetbymidnight · 15/02/2016 17:10

How incredible that a woman who does not conform to OP's 'smart and stylish' should win an award.

I bet there was outrage across the country.

My God, this woman has actually got frizzy hair!!

My God, this woman is wearing a leather jacket!!

Original poster
hollowlegs · 15/02/2016 17:11

No. I'm not outraged at her outfit.

However, I do think it's funny how others are outraged at Stephen Fry's comments.

OP posts:
user7755 · 15/02/2016 17:13

I think she looks great, partly because she did stick two fingers up at the established norm. Why should she conform? She is an adult and a very successful one and can wear what she wants.

If SF is her friend and referred to her as looking like a bag lady, then it was probably an in joke. My DH and I joke about my mad old bag lady chic - I take it as a compliment as that is exactly the look I'm going for Grin

People on Twitter need to wind their necks in.

Original poster
hollowlegs · 15/02/2016 17:13

She has frizzy hair?

I must have missed that Hmm

OP posts:
Helmetbymidnight · 15/02/2016 17:15

I think she looked fabulous. She looked elated, like any person who's just won a great award for their work might look.

NotJanine · 15/02/2016 17:17

I didn't watch it all, but I did see several women who looked very uncomfortable in what they were wearing.

It's just refreshing to see someone not conform to all the crap about how women are supposed to look and behave.

Wasn't there some ridiculous story about a woman being refused entry to some event because she didn't have high heels on?

0christmastree5 · 15/02/2016 17:19

Surely she can wear wtf she likes, I used to like sf but actually I think he has become an arrogant Twat. The man (can't remember who he was talking about) locked in the basement comment makes my skin crawl, horrible man.

PsammeadPaintedTheLion · 15/02/2016 17:20

She might have looked a bit smarter, perhaps.

However, making remarks about people's appearance is just rude. I like Stephen Fry, but he should have just sucked it up and apologised. Flouncing is silly.

TattyDevine · 15/02/2016 17:21

I'm not outraged at Stephen Fry's comment.

I think he is rude, not terribly funny, and raised an eyebrow when I heard him say it. I am a bit bored of hearing comments constantly about women's appearances when the purpose of an event is not to do with appearance but performance or skill.

If it were a beauty contest, fashion show etc, I wouldn't have batted an eyelid.

Of course what she was wearing and whether it appeals, offends, or you feel neutral about it (I feel neutral about it) is objective. It's also irrelevant.

Floisme · 15/02/2016 17:24

...doesn't do anyone older any favours.

I'm older and I also love dressing up but I completely disagree with that.
The women who don't do us any favours are the ones with a faceful of work who insist it's all down to good genes and a bit of yoga.

cleaty · 15/02/2016 17:24

I see famous men all the time dressed scruffily at award ceremonies, nobody says anything. She isn't actually dressed scruffily, just not in traditional evening wear.

PovertyPain · 15/02/2016 17:25

Yes OP, how dare she wear what she wants? She should have made an effort and put on a pretty, feminine outfit so she would be pleasing to the male eye and the fashionable shallow females could have debated her style. Absolutely ridiculous! Next thing you know, they'll be giving the woman the vote....oh that's right. Hmm

Catch a grip OP.

user7755 · 15/02/2016 17:25

Floisme - I completely agree

cleaty · 15/02/2016 17:25

And it would have been a mistake for her to dress like Helen Mirren as suggested. Helen is very slim.

Helmetbymidnight · 15/02/2016 17:26

Why should she look like an actress anyway? She's not an actress.

Do all women who don't wear smart and beautiful suits look like bag-ladies?

Clearly, some people think so.