H2B wants 8 days stag-do

[here4help88]

H2B left the stag-do plans to his best man who has planned an 8 day trip to Las Vegas. I think this is ridiculous as it will have to be 9 days (possibly 10) as they need to stay overnight in London due to flight times. I think this is an absolute piss take, that's a holiday not a stag party and we have a three year old. I've tried to talk to him about it and his answer is he hasn't planned it so nothing can be done. Basically shut up he's going. I'm really really angry about it all to be honest. AIBU?

He is a great dad, I think that's actually one of his best qualities. Yes he would get his mother in to help and not have the stress of looking after our son alone (he's lucky his mum is retired) but I don't think that makes him a terrible dad.

I had to be away for 2.5 months when my sons were 7 and 2. DH managed to take care of both of them without having to have his mother's 'help' other than half day childcare during (he was retraining for a new line of work). He did the housework, cooked, and did the school run. He bathed and got them to bed. He managed a cranky 2 year old and helping a 7 year old with homework. Your DP may not be a 'bad dad', but if he can't manage the 'stress' of ONE child on his own without his mother's 'help', he's certainly a lazy one!

My cousin's widower managed to care for his newborn and 2 year old when my cousin died the day after the baby was born with very little help from us (his choice).

I'm sorry, this is a real sore point. That fathers should need 'help' in caring for their own homes and children is ridiculous. I can just see the response if a woman came on here and said she needed her mother's help to look after her child and take care of her home on a routine, day to day basis. If I felt my son couldn't handle his own children and home, I'd feel I'd failed him badly.

Sorry, Rant over!

Is there anything wrong with a parent of either gender wanting a bit of support if they're on their own with a small child/children? I know when I was a single parent I very much appreciated the input of family and friends sometimes and I only had 1 Dd. I could do it, mostly I did do it but it was nice to have a bit of company and support.

I agree it would annoy me if a partner never took care of children on their own, that is ridiculous, but for days on end, I wouldn't blame them for accepting a bit of help.

I had to be away for 2.5 months when my sons were 7 and 2. DH managed to take care of both of them without having to have his mother's 'help' other than half day childcare during (he was retraining for a new line of work).

Great that he managed but this reads as though 'getting help' from relatives is a bad thing? It's natural and normal... Yes, not everyone has this help, but if it's a available it's not a sign of weakness to avail yourself of it.

Good luck with your wedding OP. Hopefully you build a happy and loving marriage. I'd be weary of bad influences encroaching.

Also, I agree with a PP. You have shared some identifiable info. Just some friendly advice. If you don't want to 'get into it' then don't give snippets of information. The 10k budget didn't need to be mentioned to have got the advice you asked for. Unless you did want people to ask?

As we now all do know about your win, I have no words of wisdom other than enjoy it!

Of course occasional help is fine. But OP's wording makes it sound as if his mother is going to have to stay with him because it's too 'stressful' for him to care for his own child without her help.

I got carried away and to be honest wish I hadn't given out so much identifiable information but I am grateful for all the replies. I will know for the future I suppose!

If you want OP you could ask MNHQ to move this thread to Chat, then it will disappear after 90 days?

Good result OP.
Hope you both have great holidays and a solid and loving future