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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

MIL highjacking mini break

314 replies

CowPatRoberts · 12/02/2016 16:14

Long post, buckle up.

Myself and DP have been saving up for a long weekend away in Scotland at the end of March, bit of context but we’ve both started new jobs in the last 6 months which have really reduced our time together so this was something we’ve been looking forward to.

DP had the great idea of booking an apartment that he and his family have visited on a number of occasions, he’s familiar with the owners and it really fits all our requirements. As his parents’ place is on the way he called them last week to let them know we’d be in the area and that we’d love to drop in. They chatted for a while, made plans- great!

Then Monday evening I received an email from DSIL asking if the pool(??) was going to be available because if so she’d need a new costume. I assumed it was a mistake- I was wrong.

Apparently DMIL had thought about mine and DP’s trip over the weekend and realised it would make a brilliant family getaway! She called her parents, her brother, DSIL and DBIL to make sure they and all their kids were free to come along. She then called us (apparently to tell us about the sudden influx of mad relatives) after she spoke to all of the family on Sunday, but we missed the call and when we tried to call back they’d gone to bed.

The next day she called the family who owns the apartment and asked to cancel the reservation for our 2 bed place we’d reserved, so they could instead rent out one of the larger properties on offer- a 6 bed house with an indoor pool. They’ve used this place in the past for family parties etc so the owners assumed everything was agreed with us and happily switched the reservation for them.

So the first I hear about it is when the owners of the property call me up to ask if I’d like a refund for the other property or whether I wanted it applying to the new booking. DP called his DM Wednesday evening and was told “If you’d answered the phone Sunday night we would have told you then but it’s too late to change now!”

He told her that this was supposed to be a romantic getaway and we’d be delighted to organise a trip away with everyone another time, and again she answered that we should have gotten back to her on Sunday as it’s all paid for now and everyone booked time off on Monday.

They’ve been going round and round with this since then. When he brought up she had not asked us before planning she claimed “I didn’t know I needed to ask, I thought you cared about family and would be HAPPY to spend time with us…other people would kill for an opportunity like this…Grandma is getting old and this may be our last chance etc”

We’ve talked about just giving in and planning another romantic getaway for another time but we also don’t want to send a message that this is acceptable behaviour. WIBU to tell her to stuff her family getaway and use the money to bugger off abroad?

OP posts:
TattyDevine · 23/02/2016 18:18

Glad you rebooked somewhere warmer.

Lets face it, the Arctic Circle would have been warmer, but whatevs Grin

Clutterbugsmum · 23/02/2016 19:03

revealall

It doesn't matter if the OP and her husband want to go to a familiar holiday place for them or the arse end of London. The point is that they (just OP and Husband) wanted a weekend to themselves and NOT a family holiday. MIL had not right to impose the rest of the family on them.

OP hope you have a great time in Spain.

revealall · 23/02/2016 19:43

I know they did. I just don't think they made it clear.

Why they just didn't say " we are going for a romantic break" rather than " we are doing ( insert same old apartment) for the weekend" and "we'll be seeing you MIL -let's make plans!"

Anyway bored now.

Sure they'll love Barcelona. Hopefully her and her DH will push the boundaries to somewhere else new next time too.

OnlyLovers · 23/02/2016 19:51

I guess the conversation went something like 'Mum, Cowpat and I have booked a weekend in [holiday place] for next month. We'll pop in and see you on the way.'

How effing much clearer do you need to be? Confused

Surely you're being deliberately obtuse, reveal.

revealall · 23/02/2016 19:53

And just one point before I leave...

Who has a romantic weekend at a place where both you two and your MIL are friends of the owners? Be like shagging at your aunties house knowing it would all filter back.
Come on. It's a big world people.

OnlyLovers · 23/02/2016 20:10

Oh FFS, just because it doesn't make sense to you doesn't mean the OP is wrong or deserves her MIL turning up. How ridiculous.

YouTheCat · 23/02/2016 20:18

But in the same vein, who would go and rearrange someone else's holiday without asking first?

notonyurjellybellynelly · 23/02/2016 20:32

And just one point before I leave

Hopefully that was a promise.

CowPatRoberts · 23/02/2016 21:29

Bye Grin

OP posts:
CowPatRoberts · 23/02/2016 21:30

Well that was interesting. You can't argue with people like that it's entirely pointless!

OP posts:
OnlyLovers · 24/02/2016 09:39

I think reveal is actually your MIL, OP. Grin

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 24/02/2016 10:24

Reveal, all by that crappy philosophy of yours, my sister and BIL shouldnt have had their honeymoon at my Mum and stepdads villa, you know, just in case Mum and stepdad fancied changing it to a family holiday.

Only, my mum and stepdad arent complete selfish twats and wouldnt do that anyway.

It's a big world but you are still so very small minded........

BlueMoonRising · 24/02/2016 11:12

Delighted you have booked somewhere else op! You'll have a great time, I'm sure - just make sure you are careful with your belongings as Barcelona has a reputation for pickpocketing.

Revealall - I hope you never end up being my mil/pil if you think it is acceptable to change someone else's holiday plans without mentioning it beforehand Hmm

WhatchaMaCalllit · 31/03/2016 19:22

OP - I hope you're either on your break away as I'm typing this or have returned and are really chilled out after it. Hopefully it's the latter and that your break was really relaxing and enjoyable.

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