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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

MIL highjacking mini break

314 replies

CowPatRoberts · 12/02/2016 16:14

Long post, buckle up.

Myself and DP have been saving up for a long weekend away in Scotland at the end of March, bit of context but we’ve both started new jobs in the last 6 months which have really reduced our time together so this was something we’ve been looking forward to.

DP had the great idea of booking an apartment that he and his family have visited on a number of occasions, he’s familiar with the owners and it really fits all our requirements. As his parents’ place is on the way he called them last week to let them know we’d be in the area and that we’d love to drop in. They chatted for a while, made plans- great!

Then Monday evening I received an email from DSIL asking if the pool(??) was going to be available because if so she’d need a new costume. I assumed it was a mistake- I was wrong.

Apparently DMIL had thought about mine and DP’s trip over the weekend and realised it would make a brilliant family getaway! She called her parents, her brother, DSIL and DBIL to make sure they and all their kids were free to come along. She then called us (apparently to tell us about the sudden influx of mad relatives) after she spoke to all of the family on Sunday, but we missed the call and when we tried to call back they’d gone to bed.

The next day she called the family who owns the apartment and asked to cancel the reservation for our 2 bed place we’d reserved, so they could instead rent out one of the larger properties on offer- a 6 bed house with an indoor pool. They’ve used this place in the past for family parties etc so the owners assumed everything was agreed with us and happily switched the reservation for them.

So the first I hear about it is when the owners of the property call me up to ask if I’d like a refund for the other property or whether I wanted it applying to the new booking. DP called his DM Wednesday evening and was told “If you’d answered the phone Sunday night we would have told you then but it’s too late to change now!”

He told her that this was supposed to be a romantic getaway and we’d be delighted to organise a trip away with everyone another time, and again she answered that we should have gotten back to her on Sunday as it’s all paid for now and everyone booked time off on Monday.

They’ve been going round and round with this since then. When he brought up she had not asked us before planning she claimed “I didn’t know I needed to ask, I thought you cared about family and would be HAPPY to spend time with us…other people would kill for an opportunity like this…Grandma is getting old and this may be our last chance etc”

We’ve talked about just giving in and planning another romantic getaway for another time but we also don’t want to send a message that this is acceptable behaviour. WIBU to tell her to stuff her family getaway and use the money to bugger off abroad?

OP posts:
TwoLeftSocks · 12/02/2016 23:01

Wow!

I'd be going further than Land's End tbh, Jersey maybe, or Spain.

DSClarke · 12/02/2016 23:04

Lordy! Don't go!

LindyHemming · 12/02/2016 23:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SpaceDinosaur · 12/02/2016 23:26
Grin
Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 12/02/2016 23:27

Love to hear the property owners excuse - take the refund and rebook elsewhere the other side of the country!!

FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse · 13/02/2016 07:24

Lavender, a puppy? AngryShock how on earth do you cope without him in your life?! HmmGrin

The one good thing about all this is that dp is as annoyed as you, op. I hope be keeps that so you present a united front.

Now is the time to mark your "I'm not taking this, it's insane" boundary. Mark it firmly.

Hippywannabe · 13/02/2016 09:09

She is fruit loop! Don't go!

NotQuiteSoOnEdge · 13/02/2016 09:52

Have you cancelled?

flanjabelle · 13/02/2016 10:06

How did the call with the manager/owner go op? I can quite imagine why they changed the booking as mil will have given a spiel about how you had both decided it should be a family holiday, but still!

Xenadog · 13/02/2016 10:14

I'm assuming the OP is not going to go along with the batshit MIL's plan so my only comment would be to never ever tell MIL of your plans again until whatever you had planned has happened. Massive over stepping of boundaries here and I think a very unpleasant woman to have as an in-law.

TendonQueen · 13/02/2016 11:18

I also want to find out how the phone calls to MIL and the owners went down.

EweAreHere · 13/02/2016 17:07

I sincerely hope you have your holiday deposit money back and are going somewhere else. If MIL continues to try to blame you for upsetting 'the kids' or missing grandma's last holiday, tell her (a) she's full of it, grandma hadn't even been planning to go on holiday prior to the hijacking of your plans, and (b) that even if these statements end up being true, it's 100% on her.

StealthPolarBear · 13/02/2016 17:14

Is the op going to struggle to get her deposit back?

boredofusername · 13/02/2016 17:15

I've not RTFT but I would have booked somewhere else and told MIL to quit with the emotional blackmail Grandma is getting old and this may be our last chance etc.

MadameOvary · 13/02/2016 17:34

Utter batshit behaviour from MIL Shock

Marynary · 13/02/2016 18:12

I'm not sure how old your DP is but it seems that your MIL hasn't quite got the hang of the fact that her children are now adults and she is not in charge anymore. Definitely ask the owners for a refund and go elsewhere. Hopefully she will get the message and won't do it again.

YellowTulips · 13/02/2016 18:35

Gob smacked.....

This is Olympic standard brass neck behaviour!

CowPatRoberts · 13/02/2016 18:54

Evening all,

So DP spoke to the owners of the apartment last night and shit hit the fan. The owners were FURIOUS that MIL had lied to them, she had genuinely told them I had asked her to call as I "was stuck at work"(??). I know a few of you had pointed out the fact it was irresponsible for them to change without speaking to me but (without giving too much away) MIL was at school with the female half of the couple and has remained very close to her, it's all very friendly.

The owners were super apologetic, told us to let them know what we wanted to do and DP rang off. Within the hour MIL had called in tears, asking DP why he had lied to the owners and "made her look like a mad old woman", luckily we missed the call but weren't spared 3 minutes of sobbing and accusations! Wine

We're toying with the idea of Barcelona instead, I found a weekend for £199 each and so at the moment we're ignoring MIL and watching Come Dine With Me.

OP posts:
Sallyhasleftthebuilding · 13/02/2016 18:59

Barcelona is lovely - city and seaside and sunshine -

Let us know if/when MIL calls - good for you she got a good dollop of her own medicine!!

ToastDemon · 13/02/2016 19:02

Go to Barcelona! It's fab, that's a great price for it and it won't contain crazy relatives.

DartmoorDoughnut · 13/02/2016 19:03

CowPat I think you and your DP may be my new heroes! So glad you're standing up to her frankly batshit behaviour and that you're updating us

MrsGentlyBenevolent · 13/02/2016 19:03

Sorry, been following your thread but didn't have anything to add that hadn't already been said. Did you get a refund? I assume you have, Barcelona sounds amazing (sorry, haven't been abroad in years and quite jealous Wink).

Just ignore MIL for now - she has to reap what she has sown. It will blow over, and hopefully she's learned not to do such a rude thing again (and therefore avoiding looking like a 'mad old woman'). Enjoy your trip, wherever it takes you Grin.

Sorka · 13/02/2016 19:04

Good for you. Barcelona's a great city.

Can't believe your MIL!

ShipwreckedAndComatose · 13/02/2016 19:04

Barcelona, yay!

(Has she always been this bonkers?)

MintyChops · 13/02/2016 19:13

Oh good for your DP! Your MIL must be flailing badly having had herself exposed as a manipulative wagon. Hurrah for Barcelona as well, it's a great city....