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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To consider sending my son to a residential weight loss camp against will

152 replies

ReallyTired · 07/02/2016 23:49

My son is fast and lazy. He is 14 years old and completely obnoxious. I love my son, but I hate the fact the only moviation he had is to resist. he does nothing up eat and lie on the sofa. I hope that such a camp will help address why he eats constantly. Maybe it will make him more moviated to make something of his life.

www.morelifecamp.com/dates-pricing/

I am thinking of sending to the camp in the above link. It's very different yo the American fat camps. Even if he puts the weight back on, I think that a residential camp would do him the world of good.

OP posts:

ImperialBlether · 07/02/2016 23:50

How would you get him there?

HirplesWithHaggis · 07/02/2016 23:53

Fucking hell, those prices! How long would you be looking at?

PurpleDaisies · 07/02/2016 23:53

What have you tried already? How overweight is he? Have you seen your GP-could he be depressed?

Sorry-lots of questions. I'd be loathe to force a teen to go to this sort of thing. If he doesn't want to go, what's the likelihood of him wanting to cooperate? It must be so hard to know what the right thing to do is though.

ImperialBlether · 07/02/2016 23:54

I think something like that could work though and it saves you nagging for ages.

Soooosie · 07/02/2016 23:54

What life style do you have? Are you healthy? Do you excersise? What do you eat?

Pipbin · 07/02/2016 23:54

It's a lot of money.

GingerCuddleMonsterThe2nd · 07/02/2016 23:55

He's 14, where does he get the food from or the money to purchase extra food?

Will you not struggle to get him there, he's 14 not 4 hardly manageable to man handle him .

I think in theory it's possibly a plausable idea but in practice how will you achieve it?

If he does not want to loose weight and rejects the "camp"/ does nothing whilst he is there, will you feel like you have wasted money?

ImperialBlether · 07/02/2016 23:55

Have you seen the prices, OP? How much could you afford? I have to admit that five weeks of doing that would sort him out.

defineme · 07/02/2016 23:57

If he doesn't want to go, then i don't see how you'll get him there...if you can't motivate him to exercise at home etc
I do think it looks good, if expensive, but there are cheaper general camps like pgl that keep them moving all day. If he wants to lose weight could you persuade him to go to the gym or something with you as a first step?

Hairyfairy01 · 07/02/2016 23:59

How come the kids in the picture, with the possible expection of one, all look like a healthy weight and fit already? Weird! At 14 where is your ds getting the food / money to buy food from?

Original poster

ReallyTired · 08/02/2016 00:01

Our GP is truely crap. I asked for help from the nhs and apparently being on the 99% centile for BMI is not sufficiently overweight enough to get help on the nhs. My son's ligaments are bring wrecked by being overweight.

I believe he is depressed, but getting help on the nhs is very slow. The camp is expensive because it has decent food and supervision from high quality staff. I'm not wanting to send my son on some sadistic boot camp. I want him to be well cared for.

OP posts:

TeaT1me · 08/02/2016 00:02

Might it destroy your relationship with him? Could you seek help with how to support and help him instead? Would you do this if he was undereating rather than overeating?

PurpleDaisies · 08/02/2016 00:06

Would you do this if he was undereating rather than overeating?

Strange question. Anorexic teens can be admitted for treatment against their will. I'd be very surprised if parents chose to ignore a child they though was under eating.

Lostinmysoul · 08/02/2016 00:07

He's probably miserable if he knows what you think of him, (he will),which will make things worse. You don't even sound like you like him OP.

ImperialBlether · 08/02/2016 00:08

There's no way a boy his age who is overweight is feeling good about himself. It's bad for his health and for his (fragile, at this age) ego.

The thing is, if you pay for it, would he actually go?

IguanaTail · 08/02/2016 00:08

I doubt GPs would ignore a child on the 1st percentile though.

HelenaDove · 08/02/2016 00:11

" Even if he puts the weight back on"

You do realise that yo yoing weight puts pressure on the heart.

Original poster

ReallyTired · 08/02/2016 00:13

Weird! At 14 where is your ds getting the food / money to buy food from?

We don't have locks on our cupboards or fridges. as I said he is behaviour us awful at the moment. Eating lots of bread is a way of getting overweight. It does not cost a lot of money to get overweight. He has done mean things like eating all the sweets in dd party bag.

There plenty of overweight teens. In fact my son is less overweight than some of his friends. He weighs 70kg, (167cm tall). His dad has been taking him to gym once a week but it's not enough. He has lost weight, but he is still very overweight.

My other is slim and very atheletic. I am not sure where I have gone wrong with my son. I hope that someone else can teach him to have a better relationship with food.

OP posts:

AnUtterIdiot · 08/02/2016 00:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TeaT1me · 08/02/2016 00:18

It's never about the food. I'm still addressing the issues behind my eating disorder but the first thing we learn is its not about the food.

Him stealing sweets from a party bag isn't being mean it's part of his disorder.

You/he needs to address the underlying reasons behind the eating, why he is so unhappy. To be honest if he knows how you feel about him that sounds a vicious circle

LovelyBranches · 08/02/2016 00:18

Op you sound stressed and anxious about your son and are obviously trying to act in his best interests by paying out and getting him fit. That said, your language is terrible and I wouldn't speak to someone if they introduced me as being fat and lazy.

I hope that you are using mumsnet to vent but you don't seem to like your ds much at the moment and he will be picking up on this.

TeaT1me · 08/02/2016 00:20

What she said. Treating the depression is of far more importance. Can you see him as suffering and needing help rather than fat and lazy.

Treating the symptoms won't make the problem go away.

AnUtterIdiot · 08/02/2016 00:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GingerCuddleMonsterThe2nd · 08/02/2016 00:22

So he eats bread all the time? Have you tried to ask for it back? Have you thought about placing high carb/fat/sugar food in one cupboard and placing a lock on it?

I know it sounds drastic but I think I'd honestly consider it at this point. A lock is£20 that cousrse is £5k! Perhaps then start to teach him moderation from the locked cupboard?

Original poster

ReallyTired · 08/02/2016 00:22

He has been vile to his geography teacher. He has skipped school. It's only in the land of mumsnet where being seriously unimpressed with his behaviour is deemed terrible. Thinking that my son's behaviour is obnoxious is facing up to the fact there is a problem.

Children's pychological services are very limited. There is little support for weight loss support in teens.

I love my son, but his recent behaviour is appalling. Thinking of sending him to camp for two weeks is packing him off to boarding school. It's trying to get him the help he desperately needs.

OP posts:

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