To charge sister board and if so how much.

[MuggerBe]

Sister is coming to live with dh and I and our DC miles away from home as part of an extended (potentially year long) holiday/casual work visit.

It's a great opportunity for them to visit another country with the ability to work if they want.

They've said they're happy to pay their way but I don't want to say an amount too high.

For background info, only dh works and so I take care of our child/household things through the day. Dh says it's fine but we're struggling ourselves at times to afford everything and so can't afford another person's costs.

Aibu to say for ease that sister pays £100 a week which will include- Electric. Internet. Water. Food. General outings in the car if I'm going. But not include food when out socialising, phone or travel expenses outside of us going anyway.

I don't want to take excess money. Or would it be better/easier to charge them when we get bills and somehow work out the difference which won't be easy and likewise they then only contribute towards their own food, or we do similar as with utilities where we split it each time.

I'm just not sure. I'd originally said it would only cost a small amount extra and given that figure to them saying food would be extra. Aibu to now alter the amount that better reflects the actual cost?

I would absolutely love to have people stay for free but dh earns enough to keep us afloat and unfortunately not to fund year long holidays

I couldn't charge a relative £100 per week. I think £75 is more than enough but that you may need to revue it after say three months.

I get the 'they' reference.

And I would charge a flat rate if I were you. Working out the bills would be a pain. I am amazed that people would think it normal to fund another adult to their own detriment.

It doesn't matter who the adult is, as an adult we all have bills to pay. I intend to charge dsd rent when she moves back from uni in a few years. I don't work to provide for other adults.

Autumn you seem to think I'll be living a much different lifestyle. I won't. I'm merely pointing out we'd probably be more likely to indulge in more social activities on order for them to feel welcome and meet people so they wouldn't feel like they'd come to australia to sit and watch TV every night and do bedtime routine with our child

Mugger, a lot of people don't get it. It's expensive in Oz. Another adult uses utilities, eats, etc. You're not working outside the home. It's unreasonable to expect the one who is to support another adult gratis for a year.

Wow that's a bit of a snipey response mugger to a curious question. It's not colloquial in the Uk Unless one is concealing sex or gender which you aren't so I asked. Hopefully you've got plenty of inputs in this thread and my lack of other meaningful inputs I'll not cause any harm. All the best!!

I feel like I am smashing my head off a wall.

I didn't randomly invite dsis to stay. They suggested that they were miserable in the uk and wanted to have a change. I suggested that if they were going to rent somewhere anyway in the uk that instead they came here instead while they're young enough to use the oz system.

They agreed and said they'd pay any costs and work to get a great cv experience. As.opposed to living in the uk and paying rent etc. Plus I get to see them which is an extra bonus.

I'm not thinking about extra bbqs or trips to the city or beach but simply stating we'd be doing extra things like that to make them feel welcome

The thing is yanbu to cover your costs however you yabu to profit. Your extra costs are not $180 a week. I know food is very expensive I have lived in Sydney and Melbourne. Knock $50 a week of and that is a realistic cost of extra utilities, food and fuel.

Off!

been there done that with my sibling for several years. we didn't want to take anything from him, but thought he would do basic chores around the house, had to nag him constantly. After a year I didn't bother asking anymore.

Eventually we asked for £20 week never always got that either, stopped asking, didn't want to create a family feud.

I think £100 is a lot, if I was getting charged that a week by my own sibling id rather live alone in a studio flat. id be more concerned about whether she will pull her weight around the house i.e vacuum her own room, and maybe the living room and hall to help you out, since theyre communal she uses them too right? Offer to clean the bathroom every fortnight, if theres more than 1 she can clean 1 weekly? Load dishes or do dishes sometimes that sort of thing? Might sound like nothing but those things can cause bitterness, did for me, the money didn't matter to me.

I'm not wealthy at all, in fact we have 4 little ones ourselves and elders to care for, so we were doing him a favour, no thanks though not even in a non monetary way and that's all we wanted. I mean how hard is it to do chores once a week? I think we were too nice

I think a flat rate is easier for budgeting for both you and her - as long as you have an agreement that you'll review after a month or two and increase or reduce if the costs are not what you expected.

I'm in NZ and agree that costs here for food and many other items are significantly more than in the UK so I presume the figure proposed is right.

When we lived in the UK we often had friends or family stay and those staying for longer than one month would contribute to costs at a flat rate which worked well (although it was still a bit irritating when we discovered one individual was putting the central heating on full and opening all the windows to dry their clothes).

If it was me id expect her to pay electric, gas, water and council tax. Divide by 3- you and your DH pay 2/3, she pays 1/3. Same with food.

Other expenses such as internet and your mortgage/rent wont go up so it seems unfair to charge her too much for them. Maybe another £100 or so on top for use of the room.

And yes- id expect her to pitch in with household chores.

Oh FFS. ignore the idiots on this thread. My sister was on Oz for 3 months for work. Apartment rented via work, but then given an amount to cover travel and food. She thought it was more than enough, but food in Australia is scary expensive compared to the UK ( at least it was 2 years ago).

Ignore the sanctimonious haters. Your food bill will go up, and obviously so will your bills. Posters on here advising people on splitting up mention how much money will be saved by an abusive partner moving out. Same logic applies.

Fucking hell... If I was 28 again, and my Aus-dwelling sister offered me a year in her house for £1k (approx), I'd bite her bloody arm off

I think you're getting a hard time on here. Your sister is coming to Australia to work and boost her savings and her CV. It is very costly to be constantly hosting when you live abroad. I would be inclined to host her for free the first month as she's on holiday. Presumably other visitors stay as your guests for a month if they visit. After that, she needs to stump up for her living costs at a pre arranged flat rate, to save endless negotiations.

Have you asked her what she thinks is fair rent/keep?

Well I think what you've suggested sounds more than reasonable OP. Not sure why you're getting a hard time.

I'm in Australia, the state I live in has the third most expensive electricity in the world.
Gas and electricity is around $400 per month.
Water $100 per month
Rates $125 per month
Internet and phone $112
Food $900
plus insurance, mortgage, school fees( 2 dc at state school,$1100 per year) petrol, mobile phone contracts, emergency services levy, altogether another $2700.....so yes, it's bloody expensive here.
Our adult daughter paid us $150 per week all in, when she was working full time - she earned around $25 an hour, plus extra for overtime and unsocial hours.
We didn't profit from that, at all.
Minimum wage in retail is around $20 an hour, so if the OP works full time, paying $100 a week towards the household expenses, she'll have loads of disposable income.
I think $100 per week is mire than fair.

$100 per week is more than fair, £100 a week is fair too!

OP, it doesn't matter a shiny shit what people on Mn think about this.

What matters is what you and your husband, snd your sister see as a mutually beneficial arrangement.

She gets cheap digs in Oz. You benefit from a bit of extra cash.

Just speak with your husband and sister. Ignore this Mn thread. Non of us are you sister! Hopefully ;-)

Gas and electricity is around $400 per month. Water $100 per month. Rates $125 per month. Internet and phone $112. That adds up to $737 for a families bills.

Ok But the OP proposes charging £100 or $205 per week. Or $820 a month. The OP says it is to cover include- Electric. Internet. Water. Food.

But the figures given by tiddlyipom here show that the these utility bills for a whole family add up to $737 a month. So the OP's sister wont be paying her share of the bills, she will be paying ALL of the OPs monthly bills and nearly $100 extra on top. The OP will be making a significant profit and getting her families bills paid for a year. Nice one OP!

I think at that age, I would go and rent a room in a shared home with a few people my own age and where the rent and bills will split equally between all people living there and be responsible for my own food. It wont be as expensive as living with the OP and she will get a better experience rather than living with family and kids and being fleeced.

The OP will be making a significant profit and getting her families bills paid for a year. Nice one OP!

Ugh. So pointlessly bitchy. The OP does not come across as someone who is on the make and trying to profit from her own sibling.

She might not be trying to profit....but since someone else in Australia has give us the actual cost of standard utility bills in Australia or a family, the Ops sister isn't paying her share of the bills, she is paying all of the family bills every month.

If utility bills come to roughly $800 a month, charge her a $200 share a month for her share of the bills and $300 for food as food is expensive.

But $200 a week and you're getting into covering the OPs standard shop and mortgage.

Fucking hell... If I was 28 again, and my Aus-dwelling sister offered me a year in her house for £1k (approx), I'd bite her bloody arm off

Jareththegoblinking....did you read that correctly. The OP is charging £100 a week not a month.

Where did you get £1k for a year from? £100 per week x 52 weeks = £5200.

£5k to live with your sister for a year. That is not an insignificant amount of money.