To charge sister board and if so how much.

[MuggerBe]

Sister is coming to live with dh and I and our DC miles away from home as part of an extended (potentially year long) holiday/casual work visit.

It's a great opportunity for them to visit another country with the ability to work if they want.

They've said they're happy to pay their way but I don't want to say an amount too high.

For background info, only dh works and so I take care of our child/household things through the day. Dh says it's fine but we're struggling ourselves at times to afford everything and so can't afford another person's costs.

Aibu to say for ease that sister pays £100 a week which will include- Electric. Internet. Water. Food. General outings in the car if I'm going. But not include food when out socialising, phone or travel expenses outside of us going anyway.

I don't want to take excess money. Or would it be better/easier to charge them when we get bills and somehow work out the difference which won't be easy and likewise they then only contribute towards their own food, or we do similar as with utilities where we split it each time.

I'm just not sure. I'd originally said it would only cost a small amount extra and given that figure to them saying food would be extra. Aibu to now alter the amount that better reflects the actual cost?

Autumn to be fair I think OP was having a laugh re her last comments but some people in their 20s and further on really don't know how to cook, clean etc as a consequence of having had it done for them. I've got no idea if OPs DSis is like this.

Partly sometimes it's down to parents mollycoddling a grown adult and then partly if the adult is shy and doesn't want to take responsibility etc then the adult grows into that. Like I said in my post heck I regressed (it was quite nice actually!) but my mum has always been very caring and helpful (not smothering) and her own mum adopted the open door policy with her own house when my mum was in her 20s, this was partly (tiny violin coming out here) that when she (nana) was 14, her mum died suddenly (1920s), she was sent away to relatives (but came back) and when she got back her dad had remarried a young woman not much older than nana herself. My nana got herself skilled up then left home at I think 16 but far sooner than she would have done if her mum had been alive. So nana told us she always wanted her own large house to be open to her 2 daughters and not chucked out at 16. My mum adopted same policy with me and my brother.

my electricity wouldn't go up that much from the extra personal items and heating would be the same.

An extra adult uses a lot more electricity. Lights, probably a tv in her room, computer, phone, ipad, hair dryer. The OP said earlier that there is a separate air conditioner in the guest room which the sister can run, and they can get very expensive over summer. Heating is different in Australia, full ducted heating to a house is also a pretty expensive addition, or free standing heaters which also chew up the electricity. Having moved from a house without air to one with full ducted heating and cooling, I noticed a massive difference in my electricity bills.

OurBlanche but subsequent posts it did seem though OP may have had an axe to grind, sorry if that seems I'm painting OP as an ogress.

To be quite Honest if she a relative of mine didn't work, didn't cook etc I may be wanting them to grow up a bit when they stayed with me. And to take responsibility for bills etc and cost of running a house.

Anyway I'm sure it'll work out fine now.

Oh autumn don't take it do seriously it was tongue planted firmly in cheek with regards to being a holiday retreat. ☺

Why is it upsetting you so much? Sis is that you?

She's working at the moment but has pretty much 100% of that as disposable income and savings hence the huge savings.

I'm hoping they don't just come and sit. That'd be terrible.

Does your sister have Asd op?

Can I shout BINGO now?

What does while they're young enough to use the Oz system mean? Can I assume I'm too old; if I had to ask?

Dear God, I've just read your recent posts . What sort of independent adult needs to be taught cooking, cleaning and social skills? How has she managed so far??
is the Finishing School thing what you're really charging for?

up to op im ignorant of costs in her country but posters are guving conflictung costs.

Decide what will suit you best op, contrary to what some posters hsve said those like me who had a diff view arent idiots, dont call me an idiot basic respect usnt much to ask here is it?

I know if i had charged rent would create family feud its to do with family dynamics and culture.

To be honest and nowitsseven she may have some aspects which is why I wanted to make it very easy for her. And not as suggested for my own financial reward. My dh would be getting the money anyway and putting it in the family pot. Perhaps we could put it into savings and use it when needed? Regardless it will be tough for us all adjusting to living together. They do have the option of living in their own half of the house and avoiding us if they wanted. ☺ I'm pretty sure by the responses I've received that a lot of people will think dsis should avoid me.

Yes flogging to work here is hard without being very young or having a skill on the wanted list so she's very lucky in a sense.

Why called you an idiot katarzyna?
Don't believe it was me.

Anyway I think I've had enough of a roasting for now. Thanks for the input for and against. It's been interesting.

OP just charge $600 a month. Very reasonable. It is lovely of you to open up your home to her and she gets an opportunity that I bet she wouldn't get if you weren't over there.

If she was staying for a few weeks that would be a different scenario but it is ridiculous to suggest that you should absorb the costs of an able bodied adult who you are doing a massive favour for, potentially a whole year, when you are struggling yourself .

Your sister is very lucky!

I think you're absolutely right. If money is tight anyway you shouldn't be having to make that worse due to someone who can afford to look after themself. Aircon/heating does become v expensive in oz and more so with another person using it who doesn't understand the costs /normal family limits. Similar with food. And much better to feel costs are covered than build resentment about what is being used. By the way I would make explicit you might review, if she starts eating / drinking a lot and expects you to buy it you may need to up the price. And conversely you may be able to decrease if costs remain minimal.

I think if you under charge it'll breed massive resentment for you. I think £100 is fine and generous when you consider her alternatives.

What does while they're young enough to use the Oz system mean? Can I assume I'm too old; if I had to ask? grin

Working holiday visas. You've got to be under a certain age and you can come in for a while and do a certain amount of work. Lots of backpackers use them and travel around picking up short term work like fruit picking, etc.