To charge sister board and if so how much.

[MuggerBe]

Sister is coming to live with dh and I and our DC miles away from home as part of an extended (potentially year long) holiday/casual work visit.

It's a great opportunity for them to visit another country with the ability to work if they want.

They've said they're happy to pay their way but I don't want to say an amount too high.

For background info, only dh works and so I take care of our child/household things through the day. Dh says it's fine but we're struggling ourselves at times to afford everything and so can't afford another person's costs.

Aibu to say for ease that sister pays £100 a week which will include- Electric. Internet. Water. Food. General outings in the car if I'm going. But not include food when out socialising, phone or travel expenses outside of us going anyway.

I don't want to take excess money. Or would it be better/easier to charge them when we get bills and somehow work out the difference which won't be easy and likewise they then only contribute towards their own food, or we do similar as with utilities where we split it each time.

I'm just not sure. I'd originally said it would only cost a small amount extra and given that figure to them saying food would be extra. Aibu to now alter the amount that better reflects the actual cost?

I don't think it's unreasonable. She'd be paying way more if she hadn't got a dsis to stay with, and it wouldn't be as nice for her to stay.

Round here I think £100 offer would get you shown to the garden shed.

I don't see why people are comparing it to a flat share when the whole point of renting somewhere out is to make money, not cover the extra costs.

I think food and transport costs are going to be the biggest area for discussion - as these are likely to be the biggest 'additional' costs.

I can't comment on whether £100 a week is reasonable as I don't know about Aus living costs, but outside of London £100 a week would get you a room inclusive of bills in most areas, so would suggest it's a commercial rate rather than a family rate.

It depends really whether you want her to just pay the extra costs or to pay her full 'share' of the costs as if it was a flat share set-up. And for a year long stay I'd be considering the latter, I think.

Right having lived in Australia, I just want to say that my mum charged me $100 Australian a week which was pretty fair considering, rent, food, electricity and gas water prices to name a few

OP already said just her sister, Gloria.

Cheap I mean not fair

She is your sister £50/75 a week is more than enough to charge

We had a distant family member stay for 6 months. We charged him £30 a week and it definitely didn't cover his food but the family had little money and we wanted to help out. I don't begrudge the money but I am glad we asked for a contribution or I think I would have ended up quite cross.

£50 a week would have more than covered his food and extra bills so I'd aim for that sort of amount.

For me, it wouldnt be the same as comparing the cost to "market rate". I wouldn't want to profit from a family member unless they were taking a room I usually rent out to a lodger and therefore costing me money to stay.

I too also think £100 a week for your sister is a bit much.

My dd in housewares with house owner. In a very low paid job as doing internship. Pays 475 a month in UK and no food in that. I would ask her for a suggestion first as if she comes in around same amount it's smooth sailing from the beginning.

Food in Australia is very expensive, about $200 on average to feed a family.

I think thats a very reasonable price for Australia where living costs are high.

And yes it would be nice to subsidise her because she's her sister but the OP doesnt have the money to do so.

It also depends what your sisters like; will she be buying the food she particularly likes herself, is she apt to offer free babysitting now and again, will she help around the house, take you out for the odd meal etc.

Whatever you do, just be clear of the expectations before she arrives. And total respect - I think the thought of living with my db for a year would send me cold!

how much is your weekly shop?
aks her to pay for that?

I think that it's only reasonable to ask for the extra costs you sister incurs. So food and extra utility costs are fine but nothing towards rent as you'd be paying that anyway. It's not reasonable to make a profit by lowering your own living costs.

Could you find out how much a typical flat share would be in the area you live? Lots of these include bills so might be a useful comparison. Then, as others have said, I'd probably knock a bit off of a commercial rate as its a family member. Also speak to your sister, if you do end up charging similar to a flatshare she might decide to do the latter

It seems rather vulgar to make a profit from having a close relative stay.

Your housing costs won't increase, you dont work so energy costs won't alter and petrol will stay the same if you only intend to drive her if going anyway. Her true cost will really only be food and for a £100 a week I could feed six adults.

For Oz I think £100/week is very fair. She is in Oz, Autumn, where food is very expensive. So is energy. Another adult uses energy.

OP is in Australia, every day costs are far higher out there!

I agree a uk forum is not very helpful even if you translate the currencies.

Here I think £50 pp would be plenty for food, electricity and water. Internet wouldn't cost extra, and your idea of explicitly excluding meals out and phones makes sense.

However if you want to charge them more akin to paying rent, for the use of their room and sharing your living space, then yes it would get more up to the figures others are suggesting. It also depends how much of an inconvenience losing that bedroom is. You would be a very nice sister to let them live rent free with you for a year. But I don't think I'd want to charge market rate to my sister who was holidaying, not working, either. Will you want to go and stay with her in the future, and how would you want to be treated then?

While negotiating you could ask then to stay elsewhere one weekend a month or something, to give you some family time.

I've said we'd not be Making a profit so luckily I'm not being vulgar. 180 dollars is 87 pounds. I said roughly 100 thinking the exchange rate was slightly higher. My apologies.

We'd be doing lots of tourist activities if they came that we don't now which is what I meant about the petrol, trips to the city, beaches, showing them the sights which we don't always do now as we've been here a while.

My dh is the only person who earns so it's a big ask for him to have another person in the house for a year. My sister probably couldn't babysit or take DC to give us a break as they're not hugely child lovers.

I've already said I'll look into the actual costs and whether to try and charge a flat rate or do the pain in the button task of going through food receipts.

We'll have a chat first.

They won't be able to have me at their house as they're living at home so it will never be reciprocated nor would I want to spend a year where they live.

Those saying they'd not charge or charge minimum amount, how would you feel if it was reversed. So you go to work and your dh says his sister is coming to stay for a year. Would you be inclined to say we'll cover costs and not charge anything?

Crosspost. Those sorts of days out really do add up but I think they are better covered between you ad hoc, rather than absorbed into a monthly payment. Petrol and outings I'd play by ear, or keep very vague idea of mileage for these things and ask her for a contribution when you've done a full tank's worth of these trips.

I think actually, having another adult Coke and stay in your house for a year is a big ask and will impact the family dynamic. And so asking for a contribution that slightly loosens the OPs current tight financial situation is totally fair.

Otherwise OP and husband are going to be stressed about finances and stuff and deal with the stresses of having another adult share your home.

All the people here saying its 'vulgar' to charge more than food and additional water/power would never even entertain the idea of a brother or sister or MiL staying with them for a year!!!