to think "neighbour" has assaulted my child

[BubbleBathAddict]

Basically my 11 year old son was in a group of school friends yesterday after school. On the way home from the park they played "knock down ginger" -ie they knocked on a couple of front doors quite near us and ran away. Now this is not something I was aware of or would condone, but on the scale of "crime" it's not something to get too excited about.

My son said he did not do the knocking and stayed on the pavement.
At the second house the woman came out and yelled. The boys ran. All of them more quickly than my son it seems. Half way home (a few houses only) he felt someone grab his wrist and the said woman insisted he tell her where he live and frog-marched him home. He was in tears. I was at work, but his dad and older brother were in.

I do not know the woman at all. She apparently said her children were scared. I am pretty furious that she thought it was OK to grab and intimidate a child. That might have been appropriate 40 years ago, but these days touching anyone without consent is battery isn't it?

I don't want to over-react, but will be going over there today. What would you do?

Worra
Hahaha! @ the caller calling MW pathetic!
Ok own up. Who was it?

The OP?

Exactly paxillin

And a fairly rare mother who's brave or stupid enough to call a child a little shit to the mother's face.

Easy enough on the internet though I suppose.

It appears that if you have kids ,I would question the level of acceptable behavior you have taught them.

I've taught them that calling other kids names is unacceptable, even if they're unlucky enough to happen upon an adult who works/worked in education who thinks it's fine.

FWIW I think the OP is totally in the wrong and I would have had no problem in bringing her son home, or finding out where he lives.

Knocking on doors and running away is terrible behaviour.

Much like an adult telling a mother they think their child is a little shit.

Agreeing with Worra and Pax. There was no need for name calling, the child or anyone else.

I would call the child a shit to the mother face. you seem to use the internet more than most worra sharing your obvious vast experience dealing with kids like this. if his mum is an oap then it seems that she should have more life experience to teach this child how to behave, as one day he may do something to upset someone who will do more than grab his wrist. would you rather that happen or him learn a valuable lesson? maybe his mum will learn too

We have experienced this where we live. It's a nice area, but two families' children have teamed up to terrorise our street. They are all under 13, but they are absolute nightmares and quite intimidating! I can guarantee you that the ones stood on the pavement far away, are the ones egging the perpetrator on, and in our situation, the worst of the lot! We haven't been able to catch up with them physically, but have managed to speak to them (they couldn't care less!), and also been to their parents. They make noises to tell them off and then 5 mins later they're back out doing it again!
It is frustrating and sooo annoying and it can ruin the area that you live, making being at home quite stressful. We are a young (ish) couple with children, but have elderly people either side and these children are non-discriminate. I would have been furious with your son! If it were my child they would have been in sooooo much trouble!

And calling someone's child a little shit over the internet is going to help him learn a valuable lesson is it winchesterbram?

Who needs behavioural experts, when you've got it all sew up?

Perhaps you could be the new Super Nanny, and just visit people's homes to call their kids names?

*sewn

calling the child names is disrespectful to the OP

Really? Wow! The OP came on here to complain about a poor woman who had been the victim of a crime by a gang of kids whining that this woman had committed assault and battery on her special little snowflake. She was looking for people to agree with her so she could probably go and give the woman a good once over.

You have the nerve to say that we are being disrespectful to the OP by calling her son a little shit.

Many, many people were respectful and told her that her child was wrong without calling him names but she just wouldn't accept that the woman had every right to march her son home by the wrist.

Furious just reading your post Op - WITH YOU!! Well within her rights, someone needs to discipline him. Grabbing your son's wrist and frogmarching hi home is by no stretch of the imagination anywhere near assault. You and your son owe this poor woman an apology. Perhaps if you had a clearer grasp of right and wrong your son would not have been in this situation in the first place.

Ok you carry on covering yourself in glory maplerose

I can see we're not going to agree about name calling children, so there's not much point in us continuing this conversation.

I never realised so many people were frightened of knocking on the door. I am lucky that it doesn't worry me, most days I get postman/delivery men asking me to take in parcels as I am retired and they know I am likely to be at home, plus other e.g. Jehovahs Witnesses and occasionally Mormons, people selling stuff ( I am always amazed at how many double glazing companies knock on my door drying to sell me double glazing even though mine is only 3 years old) Kids asking for their ball back out of the garden, charity people, window cleaner/gardener looking for their payment. I don't mean they all come every day but most days it will be at least 2 or 3 and when my GC arrive they nearly knock the door down.

It must be very stressful if every time the door goes you are terrified or maybe I just live in a very busy area? I don't think I do, quiet cul de sac in fact.

winchester - I'm sorry you had to give up your career because of the modern day attitude of the "you can't touch me, its assault" generation. I hope you have found a job where you are happy and don't have to deal with parents like some of those on here.

Could I just suggest people stop saying the child has committed a crime. We have a presumption of innocence and unless he has been taken to court and convicted labelling him a criminal is not only ridiculous it is also inaccurate.

Knocking on the door doesn't bother me when there is someone there.
It would unnerve me if there was repeatedly no one there or someone running away.

There is a big difference.

Granny, it's a very different scenario if you hear the door knock, and you've missed the postman or double glazing salesman or whoever, and they've left a card. It's quite another to have kids knocking the same time every day, and opening the door to find them running off. It does then make you jumpy EVERY time the door knocks. So yes, it is very stressful!

Anybody else feel like lying in wait for the knock knock ginger kids, hand on door handle, zombie mask for effect and ripping it open "RRRRRAAAAAAAAAAH!" as they knock now ?

Oh do grow up worra. I'm not glorifying myself. I haven't mentioned myself at all outside of explaining how I would have dealt with my own children.

No, maybe it isn't nice to call children names. However, it is sometimes necessary on threads like this to get your point across when you are hitting your head against a brick wall.

Toughasoldboots I suppose when people are out at work you miss alot of it, my husband is disabled so now I am retired I am at home with him most of the time. I really don't mind taking in the parcels, I remember what it was like when I was at work and got home to find I had to go into town to collect a parcel. I think with e bay and amazon and such there are lots more parcels now but it is nice to be neighbourly.

Funnily enough I have never had any trouble with knock down ginger, if it was kids I think I would make a point of getting to the door quickly and giving them a big smile and trying to chat to them, nothing more off putting to kids than friendly old ladies. Older kids I would speak to our local PCSO.

Personally I think it is dangerous and unnecessary to lay hands on anyone else, what would happen if child was trying to pull away and slipped out of my grasp and they fell into the road and got hit by a car, or fell on the pavement and banged their head and were injured? No not work the risk.

My husband is disabled, he often used to get to the door after the caller had given up and gone. I think it frustrated him at times but he has never said it frightened him.

Toughasoldboots, well maybe my little cul de sac is really busy then. I know we seem to have charity collectors several times a week, some looking for money and some leaving plastic bags or collecting them. I worry more about all the wasted plastic, they never pick up the empty bags.