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AIBU?

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Original poster

to think "neighbour" has assaulted my child

719 replies

BubbleBathAddict · 06/02/2016 08:17

Basically my 11 year old son was in a group of school friends yesterday after school. On the way home from the park they played "knock down ginger" -ie they knocked on a couple of front doors quite near us and ran away. Now this is not something I was aware of or would condone, but on the scale of "crime" it's not something to get too excited about.

My son said he did not do the knocking and stayed on the pavement.
At the second house the woman came out and yelled. The boys ran. All of them more quickly than my son it seems. Half way home (a few houses only) he felt someone grab his wrist and the said woman insisted he tell her where he live and frog-marched him home. He was in tears. I was at work, but his dad and older brother were in.

I do not know the woman at all. She apparently said her children were scared. I am pretty furious that she thought it was OK to grab and intimidate a child. That might have been appropriate 40 years ago, but these days touching anyone without consent is battery isn't it?

I don't want to over-react, but will be going over there today. What would you do?

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 08/02/2016 23:07

It's chicky melly in Scotland

< irrelevant >

dratsea · 09/02/2016 03:39

If he was my lad I'd be taking him to the park this weekend and teaching him how to run from standing start, might save his life one day.

Lweji · 09/02/2016 03:47

but I did say to dh(after I had said sorry and bloke had gone) that omg I wish I was still in bed at 9.30.
Unless you had happened to have been working all night and got to bed at, say, 7am.
He could have been saving lives that night or could be driving a bus full of people later that day.
Unless you know his life you can't judge what time he's in bed.

Atenco · 09/02/2016 04:30

I lived in a neighbour full of parents who were "unable" to control their children and would get furious if their precious little one, who was only watching of course, was caught. It was absolute hell.

The solution was when the parents who were "unable" to control their children were told that they would be evicted if their little darlings ever bothered anyone again.

Honestly OP, you don't like what people are saying but nobody will ever bother to tell you if they see your son doing drugs because you are so completely defensive of him and aggressive to everyone.

laceysue · 09/02/2016 11:30

toconclude that's terrible. How unjust and depressingly typical.

GoblinLittleOwl · 09/02/2016 12:28

Certainly right to go, to apologise obviously, and take your son so he may apologise on behalf of his stupid friends.

doubleginplease · 09/02/2016 12:39

Yes he's a child OP you are right which is exactly why he shouldn't have been out without parental supervision. She was doing the parenting you (or your partner) were not there to do. Why is an 11 year old out on his own?

He's lying to you about not being involved by the way. And if he's not, if he's stupid enough to hang around when his friends are doing something like that then he definitely shouldn't be out on his own!

IMO you should be thanking her!!!

Lweji · 09/02/2016 12:45

Why is an 11 year old out on his own?

Because he's 11?

My 11 year old DS goes to school and back on his own, as well as football practice.

doubleginplease · 09/02/2016 12:47

Well my 11 year old doesn't! Because she's not responsible enough and neither is this boy it seems.

TurnOffTheTv · 09/02/2016 12:48

Your 11yo never goes anywhere alone? Confused

Lweji · 09/02/2016 12:50

I could say that I have educated my 11 year old DS to be responsible and considerate of others. :)

LagunaBubbles · 09/02/2016 12:56

Your son is only 11... What was he doing out with his mates on the streets at 5 30?!

Oh for goodness sake, I dont agree with the OPs reaction to the incident but this is ridiculous!

LagunaBubbles · 09/02/2016 12:57

11 year olds can be at secondary school here in Scotland, Ive never heard of an 11 year that has never been allowed out on their own before. Confused

TurnOffTheTv · 09/02/2016 13:15

You haven't heard Laguna because it's utterly bonkers Grin

kali110 · 09/02/2016 13:16

toconclude i am so sorry! That is disgusting.
We have some kids who are out at all hours who like to terrorise animals.
They've tried to set their dog on my cat before when it was sitting on it's own drive Hmm

damncat · 09/02/2016 13:27

I'm with the majority; I have been scared by kids younger than 11 banging on the door and running off...and I would have frogmarched them home if it was physically possible. Why was your son out in the dark with some other children of the same age and mentality? How long has this game (?!) been going on? How many other doors did they knock at?? You say he was only frogmarched a few houses...what about when he and his irresponsible little mates try the same thing a bit further away so there's less likelihood of them being known and/or caught? Whose bright idea was this in the first place? What other games have they up their sleeves? It doesn't matter whether you work or not, nor whether your husband is disabled, your 11 year old - secondary school age - should know what's right and what's not by now. Why doesn't he?

ZiggyFartFace · 09/02/2016 13:28

I shouted at a local girl who repeatedly did this at our door. I'd seen her do it but not been able to catch her. One day I did. I didn't need to touch her physically as she was in an alley. I was, erm, addressing her shortfallings as her mother caught up. Her mother didn't give a shit.
She was out with her mother and still being an arse.

Lweji · 09/02/2016 13:40

I'm with the majority
Which majority? Of two who don't allow their 11 year olds out?

Why was your son out in the dark with some other children of the same age and mentality?
As in the OP, they were returning from school on the way home. Which should be fine.

Where I live loads of 10 and 11 year olds go home by themselves with no problems that I know of.
But should they misbehave, I'd be happy to punish mine and thank whoever brought him home and told me of what he had done.

LagunaBubbles · 09/02/2016 15:11

Why was your son out in the dark with some other children of the same age and mentality?

Are children of 11 not allowed out to play then with their friends? What should they be doing instead, sitting inside on an X Box? All children misbehave at some points, be it in their own house or outside, the main thing, as always is how their parents deal with it.

SoupDragon · 09/02/2016 15:32

As in the OP, they were returning from school on the way home. Which should be fine.

They were on their way home from the park.

I'm with the majority
Which majority? Of two who don't allow their 11 year olds out?

Given the sentence that followed, the majority who say the woman was right to frogMarch the boy home.

BabyDubsEverywhere · 11/02/2016 09:31

This thread is on the wright stuff this morning!

Baconyum · 11/02/2016 09:32

See the weight stuff still using lazy researchers!

ricketytickety · 11/02/2016 09:34

mmmm...appears to be on the wright stuff this morning! Do they get their material from mn?!

Baconyum · 11/02/2016 09:47

Not rtft but read most. Op's son was in the wrong I agree this is likely not the first time and he was likely very near the door to be caught. Your son owes the neighbour an apology and if my dc did this they'd be grounded for a week!

Far too many parents who don't think their dc was the one of a group misbehaving and don't discipline. Just because smacking is no longer de rigeur does not mean you cannot discipline.

Stratter5 · 11/02/2016 10:47

rickety the get most of their fodder from here. Laziest researchers ever.

It will be in the DM too, they get their 'stories' from here, and add their own special twist to them.

Swipe left for the next trending thread