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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

to think "neighbour" has assaulted my child

719 replies

BubbleBathAddict · 06/02/2016 08:17

Basically my 11 year old son was in a group of school friends yesterday after school. On the way home from the park they played "knock down ginger" -ie they knocked on a couple of front doors quite near us and ran away. Now this is not something I was aware of or would condone, but on the scale of "crime" it's not something to get too excited about.

My son said he did not do the knocking and stayed on the pavement.
At the second house the woman came out and yelled. The boys ran. All of them more quickly than my son it seems. Half way home (a few houses only) he felt someone grab his wrist and the said woman insisted he tell her where he live and frog-marched him home. He was in tears. I was at work, but his dad and older brother were in.

I do not know the woman at all. She apparently said her children were scared. I am pretty furious that she thought it was OK to grab and intimidate a child. That might have been appropriate 40 years ago, but these days touching anyone without consent is battery isn't it?

I don't want to over-react, but will be going over there today. What would you do?

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 11/02/2016 10:52

I don't think it is lazy research to be honest.

I think their viewers will have basically the same interests as a lot of Mumsnetters do.

So with so much discussion on here, what would be the point in not using Mumsnet?

Lweji · 11/02/2016 10:57

On a side note:

upon checking up Channel 5, it comes up as:
THE WRIGHT STUFF
More like this:
Peppa Pig.

They are not wrong... Grin

paxillin · 11/02/2016 10:58

Right, now, the morning show for next week, everyone, we have the Murray baby on Monday, you can research some birth stories, office junior, Tuesday we can re-hash presidential elections and women, Wednesday is easy, PMQs, what about Thursday and Friday, does MN have a good parking thread? No, but there's a school uniform one and one about fences and neighbours. Boooring, hey wait, look, an ASBO kid in waiting... that should do it. Why don't they just start these threads themselves? (Or do they?)

Lweji · 11/02/2016 11:01

Why don't they just start these threads themselves? (Or do they?)

What are you saying???

Shock
WorraLiberty · 11/02/2016 11:02

Yes, there are at least 2 threads I've spotted today that I think are either TV/radio researchers, or students doing a dissertation.

MissyMaker · 11/02/2016 11:08

Assault and battery for the woman holding your son by the wrist? Are you having a laugh?

Your son and his friends were behaving bad.y and should be reprimanded. It doesn't matter what time it was, or how old the woman was. You don't know what she has going on in her life. If someone had done this when I had a newborn baby, a toddler and my DH was dying of cancer, I could well have pushed me a bit too far.

Be a responsible parent and get your son to apologise to the lady - go with him to make sure it happens. And then continue to be a responsible parent by making sure he understands that what he did was unacceptable and that he mustn't do it again.

WorraLiberty · 11/02/2016 11:10

Hahaha! @ the caller calling MW pathetic! Grin

Ok own up. Who was it? Wink

maplerose · 11/02/2016 11:13

Poor OP. I actually do feel a tiny bit sorry for you now. I hope that you have learnt a very valuable lesson however. Your child committed a crime, the lady who grabbed him did not. There is no middle ground here. No AIBU, no grey area. Your son and his friends were in the wrong. Maybe you need to spend less time defending your child and more time teaching him some manners

winchesterbram · 11/02/2016 11:14

jusy watched this morning concerning this incident and turns out the woman was well within her rights to grab this little shit and take him home. Why is it that parents who think their child has been wronged would be the first to complain they has some kid knocking on thier door? The law says they are not allowed to do this sort of thing, yet parents still complain if their kid is told off. I suggest the mother of this kid looks up the meaning of respect an it seems very clear her child has been taught nothing. if he had done it to me he would have got more the a wrist grab the little shit.

WorraLiberty · 11/02/2016 11:17

And calling the OP's 11 year old child a 'little shit, is respectful is it?

Righto.

RedToothBrush · 11/02/2016 11:21

Poor OP. I actually do feel a tiny bit sorry for you now.

Yeah I do too. She got quoted on The Wright Stuff. I would feel slightly exposed and humiliated by the public flogging on national television. Its one thing to post on AIBU, its another to see your post flash up on the television for scrutiny by a panel of celebrities.

I would feel ashamed.

Lweji · 11/02/2016 11:23

Yes, it is shitty of them.

maplerose · 11/02/2016 11:23

What else would you like people to call him worra? A troubled youth, a special little snow flake? What? Rude, ignorant little git who deserved a lot more than being marched home to his mummy and daddy. Personally, I would have phoned the police.

MissyMaker · 11/02/2016 11:25

Oh bollocks AngryAngryAngry

paxillin · 11/02/2016 11:26

I think a child who's been naughty/ cheeky/ made a mistake would be a good term.

WorraLiberty · 11/02/2016 11:29

What else would you like people to call him worra?

A boy who behaved very badly?

There's no need to call a child names, especially when the poster talks about 'the meaning of respect'.

They weren't particularly respectful to the OP, were they?

maplerose · 11/02/2016 11:34

OK then pax. The naughty little 11 year old boy made a mistake. If I make a mistake, I have to pay the price either financially or by other means. Children need to be taught about consequences.

If this had been my child, he would have been grounded and made to tidy the woman's garden/wash her car once a week for a month.

I would also have been informing all the other parents involved. The problem is parents like some of the posters on here who think their cheeky little boys are doing no harm.

maplerose · 11/02/2016 11:36

Yes and respect can be earned and lost Worra. This child deserves zero respect for the actions of him and his friends.

winchesterbram · 11/02/2016 11:37

Worraliberty, I think calling the child a shit is called for, if he behaves like this he does not deserve respect. I worked in education for 14 years and was amazed at the lack of respect for others and their propety astounding form most, not all. some kids know how to be respectful, so pull your neck in and get off your high horse. Kids today have little respect for anything, as they seem to get what they want from parents who can't be bothered. These are in the minority, but it is not acceptable to behave like that and you think the child deserves respect?

WorraLiberty · 11/02/2016 11:38

The child isn't reading this thread maplerose

As I said, calling the child names is disrespectful to the OP

And obviously just bloody nasty.

WorraLiberty · 11/02/2016 11:40

I worked in education for 14 years

Thank goodness you said worked, rather than work.

SoupDragon · 11/02/2016 11:43

He's not the messiah a little shit he's a very naughty boy.
.

SoupDragon · 11/02/2016 11:44

TBH though, I think he was being a little shit. I've told my own DS to stop being a little shit on occasion.

paxillin · 11/02/2016 11:45

I agree there should be consequences for this game for the child. But when trying to convince a fellow parent that a behaviour of their child is unacceptable is easier to concentrate on the behaviour. It would be a rare mother who accepts her child being called a little shit and then still wishes to discuss what to do about it.

winchesterbram · 11/02/2016 11:47

Worra it seems you also don't know the meaning of respect, one of the reasons i left education was the behaviour of the students. why don't you find something else to moan about rather than questioning the professionlism of someone. guess who i think is a shit now. you seem to have alot of opinions on things - what experience have you had dealing with kids who don't know how to behave in a civilized manner. It appears that if you have kids ,I would question the level of acceptable behavior you have taught them.