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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want some peace and quiet on the ward?

483 replies

vodkaredbull · 06/02/2016 03:38

It's 3:30am and I'm losing my mind.

I was admitted to antenatal yesterday morning for induction. So far fuck all is happening and I'm exhausted. In a stupid amount of pain and all I want to do is sleep.

But of course that's not going to happen is it? I'm in a bay with two other beds. Across from me is the snorer but really I could probably block her out. The problem is the other patient who is surgically attached to her fucking iPhone. It's the middle of the night and she's ringing all of her friends for a chat. Who does that when people are trying to sleep?! I don't give a fuck if she's missing a party to be induced. I want to enjoy the totally useless paracetamol they've deigned to give me and try to get a little rest.

The midwife isn't helping much either. She's rather old fashioned and I'm surprised she hasn't locked us in. I tried to go for a walk to escape iPhone girl and she escorted me back to bed.

AIBU to expect a little peace and quiet in here? Seriously losing it right now.

OP posts:
DartmoorDoughnut · 07/02/2016 21:04

I am getting so annoyed for you OP Sad let your DH loose on them, poor you and poor LO, they can't be happy either

BillSykesDog · 07/02/2016 21:09

OMG, I'm just aghast OP. I really hope things get moving soon so you can get out of there!

BillSykesDog · 07/02/2016 21:12

Incidentally OP, the last thing you are is a silly FTM. I'm amazed at how well informed, calm and level headed you are and how well you are dealing with this. I would have lost it by now! Jaysus, ye'll make a fine mammy so you will OP!

waxweasel · 07/02/2016 21:12

Let your DH lose it. And tweeting the Chief Exec is a brilliant idea - do that. I'm raging for you.

I'd also take a note of any further conversations with your consultant, or get DH to do it. Tell them up front you'll be taking an attendance note of the conversation - that will make it clear you're gearing up to making a Very Big Stink Indeed.

Coldest · 07/02/2016 21:15

OP please get your husband to PALS tomorrow. Also to make a complaint now. You shouldn't have to put up with with crap care. After this is over make another complaint.

I have had two horrendous experiences at NHS hospitals and complaining after the fact gives little solace as the damage has been done. Now I make a huge stink to make sure I am not given negligent care.

HPandBaconSandwiches · 07/02/2016 21:16

This is so unacceptable and I'm so sorry for you.

I work in the NHS. I have found maternity units to be the most patronising places in the hospital. A ridiculously high proportion of doctors and midwives speak to grown women as if they are silly children who cannot make any decisions for themselves. Patient choice is ignored and evidence based medicine is poorly practiced in favour of personal experience and preference of the clinician.

And they get away with this because women are so thrilled to finally meet their baby, and so bloody exhausted from the early days, that they haven't the time and energy to complain.

Speak up OP, then speak up some more. Get your DH to bring in a notepad, or better still a dictaphone. Ask for names and make it clear you're recording conversations, ask to record them directly. Demand evidence based practice and to be involved in decision making. If they refuse a procedure such as csection, demand a second opinion. Ask to speak to the Supervisor of Midwives and the lead consultant. Talk to PALS tomorrow morning, don't wait. Make a fuss OP. Be polite but extremely firm.

Hope baby makes an appearance soon. I'm sad to say that IME postnatal is worse.

Whatdoidohelp · 07/02/2016 21:21

You have the patience of a saint! I would have absolutely lost my mind by now. That's part of the problem though. There are probably women less needy of getting things moved on than you but if they are noisy and hysterical and creating a right fuss they will get moved along.

George2014 · 07/02/2016 21:30

How would you feel if someone else posted a link to this on twitter?

Original poster
vodkaredbull · 07/02/2016 21:31

George I understand the idea behind that but while I'm still here and being treated I'd rather not. Not until my baby is here safely.

OP posts:
George2014 · 07/02/2016 21:32

Fair enough xx

unimaginativename13 · 07/02/2016 21:42

I was induced at 38 weeks due to GD if it's any consolation I went through the same thing but I was glad I was refused a section in the end. I had a bitch of an induction, was left waiting all the time etc but it was all over very soon.

I went in on a Monday, I had 5 pessaries so over 2.5 days. I got to 1cm then my cervix closed.
I had done my research and by they second day was telling them it was my right to have a section.

Unfortunately they have to keep their numbers down and I was talked out of it. I had a failed attempt at my waters breaking, but they broke them 5 hours later with the crochet hook while it was still closed.

I was screaming for a section at this point and they said they would book me in that afternoon, this was 1am, as it wasn't an emergency. I knew I would have had the baby by then (hopefully) so accused them of blackmail and bargain for all the drugs. 16 hours later on the drip I pushed DS out!

The shit thing was as with inductions they can result in sections so I would have been fuming if I had been rushed to theatre at the last hurdle. Honesty hang in there, it is so heartbreaking. No one could believe an induction could take 4 days.

Are you on insulin for your GD?

Original poster
vodkaredbull · 07/02/2016 21:47

No, I'm diet controlled so don't know why they were so adamant for 38 weeks.

I could deal with a long induction if anything was happening but I was examined 12 hours ago and that's the extent of my care today. I may aswell be at home.

OP posts:
hobnobsaremyfavourite · 07/02/2016 21:53

Vodka go home
Tell them you will be back for monitoring in the morning
This has got beyond a joke and they cannot make you stay.
If they say you need to stay ask them for what exactly overnight as i doubt they will do much if anything.
Am Angry on your behalf
They cannot compel you to stay and if they say its AMA then maybe they would like to clarify what medical care they are actually providing at present (zero)
Maybe its time to get really angry

unimaginativename13 · 07/02/2016 21:57

I'm not sure why you are being induced then?? Did your 36 weeks scan show a big baby?

NICE guidelines are to let you go to 40+6 for diet controlled.

My heart goes out to you, I didn't realise this is the norm for an induction, don't expect to get very far, then more than likely once you are on that drip you will fly.

My first examination on the drip I was 7cm, I could have hugged the doctors- if it had progressed I probably would had killed someone at that point - they even might have lied to me in fear!

I was very prepared for a section but so glad I didn't as I was up and about straight away. Going out with DS kept me sane in the first few weeks and I might not have had that if I had the section.

You will have your baby very soon

unimaginativename13 · 07/02/2016 21:58

To all the people saying go home- it's an induction for gestational diabetes not just a case of being overdue. My understanding is there is no going home as you are there to get the baby out for a medical reason! And the GD needs to be monitored etc

Original poster
vodkaredbull · 07/02/2016 22:00

I've moved!!!

OP posts:
Lj8893 · 07/02/2016 22:02

unimaginative nobody can keep anybody in hospital against their wishes, regardless of guidelines and/or hospital policy. If the op decided she wants to go home she can self discharge against advice (can't remember the exact term) and all the healthcare professionals can do is give her evidence based information to try and keep her in. But essentially there is always a choice to go home and the "patient" is the one who makes that choice.

bumbleymummy · 07/02/2016 22:02

Hurray! :) do you have your own room or just a quieter ward?

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 07/02/2016 22:02

But they arent monitoring are they and often in circumstances like this people are able to go home overnight to return for monitoring in the morning.

SingingSamosa · 07/02/2016 22:02

As far as I know the maternity unit is closed completely at Shrewsbury now (I had all mine there) in favour of Telford. The Women and Children dept in Telford is fabulous though - you could transfer there for delivery and get transferred back to a more local hospital for post natal? My friend did that with a different hospital nearby.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 07/02/2016 22:03

Progress at last Smile

Lauren15 · 07/02/2016 22:03

Good luck Op. I read this thread yesterday and kind of assumed baby would be here by now! Hope to hear good news soon. Don't you dare disappear without telling us!

ButtfaceMiscreant · 07/02/2016 22:03

To Labour Ward? Hooray! Good luck and I hope things get moving very quickly for you Flowers

DartmoorDoughnut · 07/02/2016 22:04

Yay!!! Good luck vodka oh and if you have the drip - as I did! - I've since learnt it can make the contractions more intense, I bloody loved the gas & air but the epidural was heaven Grin

Filmstar01 · 07/02/2016 22:05

Definitely keep a diary. I've had a quick look at their Twitter account. They are directing unhappy people to PALS. I've also had a look at Patient Opinion which is saying much the same thing. The problem is that frontline staff are often a bit far removed from this type of thing so it doesn't resonate with them sadly. You could also ask for a second opinion on your clinical care.