Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

so what do you think....is my babysitter being incredibly cheeky? or is she right

315 replies

ralphi · 04/02/2016 21:24

I have a babysitter for my daughter on a Wednesday afternoon as my son and daughter have activities that start at the same time but in wildly different places. She picks my daughter up, takes her to the activity, and then takes her home for an hour or so until I get home. Today I asked her to take a friend of my daughters to our house as well. When I got home ( half an hour before the end of the time I pay her for, but pay her for anyway if that makes sense) she asked me for double the money for the friend. I paid her, being very surprised, but now am really cross. Yes I know I should have said something but the girls were with me when we had the discussion and I didnt want to have a row in front of them. I only agreed to have the friend as a favour as her üarents have separated and he had to work late. Was she incredibly cheeky or AIBU?

OP posts:
ElleGrace · 05/02/2016 20:19

I'm Shock at those of you saying to sack the lady!
YABU, you doubled her workload and expected to pay her nothing extra. It doesn't matter whether you think it is more work- if she charges per child then she charges per child. It is double the responsibility and although they may play together, keep each other entertained etc you still have two children to watch, not one.
Where would you draw the line, OP?
When I was about 15, I was babysitting for a friend that I regularly sat for with two children. I was fully first aid trained, made my own way there and back and only charged £5 an hour for both children. When I got to the house, there were 5 children there- they were having a sleepover. She had not mentioned this at all, and I had not thought to check as I regularly sat for just her two children. The (usually well behaved) children were extremely excitable, refused to go to bed, messed around for ages and I had to do loads more cleaning up after them (cook extra dinner, clean extra dishes, change extra nappies).
At the end of the night, she came home and paid me £5 per hour, plus the £1.25 for the 15 minutes extra she had stayed.
I was too young and polite to say anything, but still fume about it today.

Audreyhelp · 05/02/2016 21:14

I think the babysitter was a bit cheeky but she is only seventeen.
Think it's a bit petty arguing about an amount that is probably under a tenner.
Just forget about it and don't ask her again offer your friend a favour when only you can do the favour.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 05/02/2016 21:18

Minimum wage for a nanny? Not round here!

I'm guessing that's in response to my post. Of course a nanny is going to be more expensive over the years I've paid between 16-40 ph for a proper nanny.

But there are agencies that provide dbs and reference checked adult sitters and they are a lot cheaper than a nanny

budgiegirl · 05/02/2016 22:13

Any nanny I have ever used does not charge per child it's why they are often a more affordable option if you have 3 or more kids

I admit that I know nothing about nannying, having never been one or employed one. But do nannies really charge the same, whether the family have one child or a Brady Bunch full? I'm staggered by that. How do larger families ever find a nanny, if they can get paid the same by another family with one child?

BackforGood · 05/02/2016 22:19

How can you say "you doubled the workload" ? Confused
Of course OP didn't double the workload.

Sitter still collected the agreed child and took her to activity.
Waited (reading, or on her phone or whatever).
Walked short journey home, as she always would... happened to be accompanied by 2 dc not one, but it wouldn't make any difference to the "work" she was doing. Possibly (not 100% on this as OP got home very early) made 2 sandwiches instead of 1. Sat and played a game / watched TV which again, wouldn't make one iota of difference if there was 1 child or 2 there. Indeed, there is the possibility that the 2 dc played together, therefore meaning the sitter didn't even have to play with them.

Nobody can seriously claim this has "doubled the sitters workload".

mathanxiety · 05/02/2016 22:57

In my experience of nannying and charging for it, a family with more than one child would be paying more than a family with just one, and depending on the ages of the children, it might be substantially more. A set of twins aged 3 plus a baby would mean top dollar for the nanny.

I did a nannyshare job once and was paid by both sets of parents, for two toddlers at a time in the house of one family.

At another job, when a baby was born the family raised my hourly wage to 1.5 times what I had previously been earning.

Wrt the issue of resenting paying her for time you book but end up not using -- yabu there too and moreso than I originally remarked. If you have her booked until 6 pm she may have turned down an offer of a job at 6 pm or even one at 6.15 unless the potential client lived next door to you. In effect you have monopolised her time for more than just the bracket you booked her for. So yes, you need to pay her for time booked.

To those saying the sitter's work was not doubled -- in my experience as both a parent and a nanny, 5, 6 and even 7 year olds are incredibly hard work when they have a friend over. A child who is already having a hard time due to asthma plus a possibly giddy friend whose parents are going through a divorce (and who is perhaps worrying what the heck happened to her dad who was supposed to pick her up) would be a lot of work. But I agree with DrSeuss' argument - at what point does it become a case of 'extra work' when extra children are added?

BackforGood:
...just say you were a bit disappointed that she demanded extra money for no extra work, when remember you never try to pay less when she does a shorter time, and - although it works for you, it also works for her - a 'mutually good arrangement' so she might want to think about that going forwards.
In other words, it's fine for people to take advantage of teenage girls who are both available when you need them and responsible enough to take care of a child.

It's not 'no extra work' -- it' the responsibility of a child she did not know on top of responsibility for one with bad asthma at the moment.

Never trying to pay less? Given that this teenager may turn down a subsequent job that she might otherwise take if the OP got her act together and predicted more accurately when she would be home, the OP would have some cheek even thinking about paying her less. It is the commitment of time that the OP is paying for.

It certainly does work for the OP -- try finding a qualified nanny for those hours. Try paying a CM for those hours.

It also works for her? I don't know how things are where you are, but my DD3, aged 17 and with a driver's licence, has people lining up for the sort of after school work the OP is taking for granted. 3 o'clock to 6 o'clock are incredibly hard hours to fill.

Just because the work involves children and the worker is a teenage girl doesn't mean you treat her like your pet monkey.

HSMMaCM · 05/02/2016 23:22

A nanny may not charge more for more children in the same family, but if another family wanted to share this nanny, they would pay extra.

Pocketrocket31 · 05/02/2016 23:31

Of course you should pay extra. If both kids went to a after school club it'd be double money. You sound stuck up, arrogant & tight fisted. If I was your babysitter I'd quit!

BoneyBackJefferson · 06/02/2016 00:02

I wish that I could say that I am surprised by the amount of posters that expect to get something for nothing, but I'm not.

Lovesabadboy · 06/02/2016 00:11

When about 16 my daughter used to babysit for 2 children aged about 3 and 6. It was a nice arrangement and worked well for about a year until, one night, another child arrived to be looked after, whilst the mother went out with the original couple. The child was also about 3 and caused a lot more work for my daughter changing the dynamic and behavior of the other two.
At the end of the evening they paid my daughter the same as usual. As my daughter was young she didn't have the confidence to ask for more.

I was really annoyed, tbh, and text the original mother to say that if there were to be 3 children in future then perhaps it would be best to find another sitter.

It was saving the other parent from paying a babysitter, so I think that extra should have been paid to my daughter.
Your situation is the same. If your friend had had to arrange a sitter then she would have expected to pay.

JeanGenie23 · 06/02/2016 01:32

Math anxiety hits the nail on the head with this; "In other words, it's fine for people to take advantage of teenage girls who are both available when you need them and responsible enough to take care of a child^"
^
This sums up some of the comments made on this thread, the sneary ones about the babysitter being an unprofessional 17yr old. The OP was satisfied enough to leave her child with this ( cheap) babysitter originally, but when she speaks up about pay, there is something terrible about her.

Blondeshavemorefun · 06/02/2016 08:07

Generally nanny jobs pay the same one baby or 3 children - that's the difference / perk of using one rather than a cm

Saying that a one baby job would have lots of applicants where as 3 children maybe not so many or they may pay a tad more

Whoever said nmw and a dbs for babysitting meant they would be using the agency sitters. There are many nannies who work for them

I won't as its rubbish money (tho legal) and my time is worth more plus I can get much more as a qualified nanny and maternity nurse with 25yrs experience

Still interested what this 17 gets paid? And how many hours she does

987flowers · 06/02/2016 08:09

I think people are missing that every week she is over paid therefore she isn't being given £2.50 and expected to babysit 10 children for 3 hours with a huge extra workload. She collected a child, sat doing nothing whilst the activity was on and walked her back.

When I've had a babysitter babysit more than my children in an evening of course we pay extra but in this case IMO double seems over that top.

987flowers · 06/02/2016 08:12

Also I'm still finding it odd people thinking it's double the workload. Yes perhaps with siblings who argue but with friends in my experience it halves the workload!

DrSeussRevived · 06/02/2016 08:13

She isn't "overpaid" every week, FFS. Every week OP books her for, I assume, about 3 hours including the pick up and the activity. Lots of babysitters charge by the hour even if you arrive home on the half hour. If OP can guarantee to be back in 2.5h every time, she can talk to the babysitter about it, but then she has to stick to it.

whois · 06/02/2016 08:15

I think asking double pay was U, but so was not expecting to pay anything extra.

DrSeussRevived · 06/02/2016 08:16

And the sitter would then be well within her rights to organise another job starting at 6pm, say, if she's currently booked 3-6 but OP wants to change to 5.30.

My after school club don't consider themselves overpaid if I pick up 30mins early, I'm sure.

I would love to know the hours and hourly rate too...

DrSeussRevived · 06/02/2016 08:18

Again, the double pay may well have been a bit blurted out by this 17 year old when she was handed the same pay as usual with nothing being said. If OP had said, "thanks for helping out, here's an extra £x, hope that's OK" then sitter would probably have accepted.

Hackedabove · 06/02/2016 08:33

I need to know how much you pay her an hour.

We pay our 16YO babysitter £5 an hour which involves about 1 hour of playing with children and then telling them to go to bed. So a further 3or so hrs of tv watching.

Your babysitter has a bit more responsibility but double what I pay is £10, which is what I pay my cleaner so a bit steep for keeping an eye on 2 6YO.

Audreyhelp · 06/02/2016 08:38

Sometimes it is harder having an extra child . Every child I have over seems to get every toy out. Still think you are quibbling over less then ten pounds .
Is it worth it ?
Good luck with finding someone else for those hours it's almost impossible round here.

ASmallHenInItsLateForties · 06/02/2016 08:46

I agree with DrSeuss. Acknowledging that she had been asked to do a little more and offering a bit extra would probably have been sufficient. Not even acknowledging it was not the way to go.

Also, no it wasn't twice the workload as such, but it is twice the responsibility. Nothing happened and 99% of the time probably never will, but it could have and as the carer for that period of time she would be expected to behave accordingly if it did.

That is what I would see her being paid for. Not what she didn't do, but what she might have to do if the children needed an adult.

Toughasoldboots · 06/02/2016 08:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Primaryteach87 · 06/02/2016 08:54

She is bu. You wouldn't expect as a nanny to be paid twice the amount for an extra charge. Having said that, if it was a new responsibility she was within her rights to negotiate a (small) uplift at the time you told her about the plan. Id be very unimpressed if she demanded it from me in that way. I suggest you come to a compromise of £1 extra for future situations.

Primaryteach87 · 06/02/2016 08:56

^should say £s not £1

987flowers · 06/02/2016 08:56

But as a supply teacher my hours aren't rounded up! I'm paid for what I do.

At the after school club I use you pay according to 3 time brackets so don't pay the same as someone who stays until 6.

I think a little bit extra fine but double extreme.

We do need to know what she is paid though as that might change things.

I think if you have a good relationship with your babysitter who (IMO) is in credit then for a little extra money it should all be ok to have this other child. I hate how babysitters have become so grabby- it was £5 for a whole evening and a few snacks back in my day Wink