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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

so what do you think....is my babysitter being incredibly cheeky? or is she right

315 replies

ralphi · 04/02/2016 21:24

I have a babysitter for my daughter on a Wednesday afternoon as my son and daughter have activities that start at the same time but in wildly different places. She picks my daughter up, takes her to the activity, and then takes her home for an hour or so until I get home. Today I asked her to take a friend of my daughters to our house as well. When I got home ( half an hour before the end of the time I pay her for, but pay her for anyway if that makes sense) she asked me for double the money for the friend. I paid her, being very surprised, but now am really cross. Yes I know I should have said something but the girls were with me when we had the discussion and I didnt want to have a row in front of them. I only agreed to have the friend as a favour as her üarents have separated and he had to work late. Was she incredibly cheeky or AIBU?

OP posts:
IloveAntbuthateDec · 04/02/2016 21:37

I your dd went to a private nursery which you paid for and you decided to ask them to look after dd's friend as well for the day do you think they wouldn't charge you for friend?

Original poster
ralphi · 04/02/2016 21:37

what other place calleigh?

OP posts:
CalleighDoodle · 04/02/2016 21:38

Netmums Grin

VinoTintoPorFavor · 04/02/2016 21:38

YANBU - it's not twice the work! How do people reach that conclusion? Two kids playing nicely together is LESS work... unless they were being difficult - is it possible she had a bad time with them both..?

Original poster
ralphi · 04/02/2016 21:38

my dd is 6.

OP posts:
TannhauserGate · 04/02/2016 21:38

Is this really the norm then? Seems outrageous to charge twice as much to make exactly the same journey, just with two children rather than one.

Blowninonabreeze · 04/02/2016 21:39

Did the friend also do the activity?

Big difference watching a single child do an activity vs entertaining a 2nd child at the activity whilst waiting for your dd

Original poster
ralphi · 04/02/2016 21:39

she has never looked after dd's friend before.

OP posts:
NadiaWadia · 04/02/2016 21:40

Of course it's not double the work, how ridiculous! I think she had a cheek. If she wasn't happy she should have replied to your text saying so. If it was two children every week, then maybe a bit more money? But this was a one-off.

AuntieUrsula · 04/02/2016 21:40

It's hardly double the workload, though, unless they're very young kids. I would have been taken aback to be charged extra as well.

derektheladyhamster · 04/02/2016 21:40

I guess it's double the responsibility rather than double the work as such. But you were wrong to assume she'd look after an extra child for free.

Original poster
ralphi · 04/02/2016 21:42

it wa sthe same activity, and I did ask her by text in advance if she was Ok with that.

OP posts:
DancingDinosaur · 04/02/2016 21:42

Well, you'd paid her for 30 mins she didn't do as well, so I don't think you are that unreasonable. But I think also you should have paid her a bit more but not double. She's done a bit more work in the same time slot.

Seeyounearertime · 04/02/2016 21:43

YABU
you asked a paid person to do extra work without checking terms.

If you hired a decorator to do a room but then wanted two rooms hed charge double.
if you wanted your car cleaned and agreed a price but then wanted your husbands car done too, you'd pay double.
etc etc.

Why should she do extra work with no reward? is there a contract stating she is paid X amount per hour regardless of children cared for?

Bathsheba · 04/02/2016 21:43

It depends what the relationship is - is she your employee or a service provider..?

Nannies are employed - you can add extra friends for play dates in but with consideration and proper warning.

Child minders are providing a service which you as the customer are buying - you can't just add an extra child in/ invite a play date to the child minder.

It sounds like you see her as providing 1 role whereas she sees herself in the other.

janethegirl2 · 04/02/2016 21:44

I'd find another carer for my dd, she is a money grabber.

ohtheholidays · 04/02/2016 21:44

YABU it is double the responsibility and for all you know the other little girl might have been hard work for your babysitter and even if she wasn't I wouldn't go complaining about having to pay the extra or you could loose her as your children's babysitter.

All of the childminders and babysitters I have known have charged a bit extra per extra child they look after.And from what you've said you offered to help out with the little girl without checking with your babysitter first.

Original poster
ralphi · 04/02/2016 21:45

well she looked afer my two kids for the same hourly fee in the past. But that was in the evening, not sure if that makes a difference...

OP posts:
MargotLovedTom · 04/02/2016 21:45

I think she was being cheeky.

BackforGood · 04/02/2016 21:46

Of course it's not double the work - it makes no odds if you bring a friend home on a journey you are doing anyway. It's not like looking after one baby or twins.
She is being unfair. shame you didn't have time to give it some thought, as you could then have said, well, if we are being pedantic, you've done half the time, so they cancel each other out.
It is the sitter that is being unreasonable here.

Bluetrews25 · 04/02/2016 21:46

So you doubled the children, but almost halved the time? Kind of balances out, doesn't it?!

Bettercallsaul1 · 04/02/2016 21:46

Childminders charge per child: nannies tend to charge per hour. What are the rules for babysitters? Depends entirely on the agreement you have made with her, and it sounds as if you didn't make a clear one when she started - you assumed payment per hour while she assumed payment by child. Neither of you is "wrong" - just different expectations. Now that you know what she expects, you are free to change to a different babysitter if you choose. Just shows how important it is to be clear at the start . You'll know next time!

CalleighDoodle · 04/02/2016 21:47

It obviously makes a difference to her, which is the whole point. The question now is, if you want to be able to offer you sitters services out again you know you need to pay or get a new one.

BlackEyedPeas · 04/02/2016 21:47

wow... really weird mums here. so far from what i read across the threads, when it is a nanny with her child, the lady is paid 50% of normal charge, but when she looks after other children, she is paid same as she look after one....
oooooh this f nanny / babysitter that is after your money....

Blowninonabreeze · 04/02/2016 21:47

As a rare one off, if you don't normally take the piss, I'd expect her to just do it to be honest.