so what do you think....is my babysitter being incredibly cheeky? or is she right

[ralphi]

I have a babysitter for my daughter on a Wednesday afternoon as my son and daughter have activities that start at the same time but in wildly different places. She picks my daughter up, takes her to the activity, and then takes her home for an hour or so until I get home. Today I asked her to take a friend of my daughters to our house as well. When I got home ( half an hour before the end of the time I pay her for, but pay her for anyway if that makes sense) she asked me for double the money for the friend. I paid her, being very surprised, but now am really cross. Yes I know I should have said something but the girls were with me when we had the discussion and I didnt want to have a row in front of them. I only agreed to have the friend as a favour as her üarents have separated and he had to work late. Was she incredibly cheeky or AIBU?

Friday?!!! Don't know where that came from.

wiltingfast

"If my daughter came and told me that story she'd get an earful about how to mind a job."

So instead of being proud that you DD stood up for herself you would give her an earful?

Wow, just wow.

She probably asked for double because ur taking the mick, offering ur friend ur babysitter but at no cost, why should she look after another child for free so u can get brownie points with ur friend? She probably doesn't charge extra for ur children because there ur children and u pay her, she now has the responsibility of 2 children and 1 she doesn't know, also if she does it once it may lead to it happening again so she making sure she gets paid for it, I don't blame the kid good on her for knowing her worth and not being walked over

I would congratulate a DD of mine in this situation. As I said upthread, I believe girls need to be encouraged to stick their necks out and make sure they get paid for their work.

"If my daughter came and told me that story she'd get an earful about how to mind a job"

I'd congratulate her on having the confidence to not allow someone to take her for granted! I wouldn't have had the nerve at her age, I'd probably have just taken the usual pay and silently grumbled to myself.

Maybe the babysitter just assumed (not unreasonably IMO) she would be paid extra for the extra work/responsibility, just as the OP assumed that there would be no extra charge.

On balance, I think the OP was unreasonable, as she should have asked if there was an extra charge when she made the arrangements. Although double is a bit steep, maybe the babysitter panicked slightly when she realised she wasn't going to be paid any extra. Or maybe she was cross about it and was making a point.

I don't think the double rate was steep. This was a child from another family. She did the work that was required just as she did what was required by the OP. Plus, she may have assumed the OP would pass on the charge to the other family, and would not want the other family to get the impression that she charged half of what she actually charged, in case they ever contacted her about after school babysitting (it looks to me as if they may need someone, if they were scrambling on the day the OP described).

Do you not think she seriously risks her job by tacking that issue in that manner?

It might not be what we would all like, but in my experience, in far more onerous and demanding roles than babysitting, extra value from the worker is what is sought to retain employment, rather than double the money with no notice!

Realities of work are rather harsh these days and I would not be congratulating my daughter for such poor management of her unsecured wed afternoon job.

Maybe you all have different more pleasant work experiences to report?????

I'd have got an earful myself I know, if I told that story to my mother Esp if the job dried up afterwards.

Sorry I think you and your friend were incredibly cheeky to expect your babysitter to have both girls for no extra money.

She's not a friend sharing child care she's paid for the job you hired her to do. Not extra kids at short notice.

No I don't think she risks her job, and good for her for understanding that she is the one doing her employer a favour here by providing a reliable and affordable service for her child that allows the OP to live her life.

Finding a reliable teen who is willing to stick with a job for a year and do it properly (bearing in mind this child has asthma), not get bored or start turning up late or not at all or giving very late notice of cancellation is not as easy as you may think.

No job is secure these days. But casual babysitters are always in demand. My own DD3 has clients lined up for her own afternoon gig. She keeps at it because she also gets evening babysitting from the same family, and they are nice children.

Teaching a daughter to be glad to have work piled on for no extra pay is teaching her to always find herself at the bottom of the pile. In an environment that is not secure, she who makes it clear that an employer shouldn't take her for granted and that she has options is more likely to be kept on. You blow your own trumpet these days in the harsh reality of work -- nobody else is going to do it for you, and a 'grateful just to have a job' demeanour is going to mean you get kicked in the face more often than not. The employee who thinks good things will be given to those who wait and be nice and don't make demands is the employee who is sorely mistaken.

...extra value from the worker is what is sought to retain employment, rather than double the money with no notice!

Extra value is only valued if the person providing it points it out. Otherwise it becomes what is expected, par for the course, and it escalates to work piled on, no extra compensation, no restructuring of a role that might in the end encompass three or four roles -- that sort of attitude encourages bad management practices where the manager wears people out and gets huge credit for production.

No math, extra value is demanded and sought all the time.

I would say to her you mind your job or you risk losing it. I would say you make yourself valuable to that woman so she seeks you out and relies on you above others. You don't turn around at the first opportunity and look for double, double mind, the money. She won't think you are reliable after that. She won't think of you when there's extra work.

At least that would be my reaction. I would say she took unfair advantage of the situation and I need someone new.

wilting

She was reliable; she did the job. She values herself enough to realise when she has done the OP a favour and is not prepared to be exploited. Perhaps she should have been more up front, but this is a 17 year old babysitter, not a mature professional

wilting

It's babysitting FFS! While I would always encourage my children to work hard at their jobs, I certainly wouldn't encourage them to allow other people to take advantage of them. I doubt she's being highly paid in the first place .

You can call it 'extra value' or you can call it 'doing your job well', but there is a difference between that and doubling your workload. When your role expands to actually be two roles and the practice you have had sticking up for yourself as a teen kicks in, you will find yourself being paid, not treated as a doormat.

She is already valuable. The child knows her and she trusts her. Otherwise she wouldn't have dumped the extra child onto her. She has been doing this job reliably for a year. I wish her luck finding someone else whom she feels she can trust and who will stick around, because teens who are available and present themselves well enough to warrant hiring for those hours are gold, and teens who get taken advantage of tend to find they have a sport practice schedule change, etc.

Double the work, child from another family = double pay. She could rightly assume the OP would get her money back from the other family, or she could rightly assume the OP thought she could be taken advantage of. It is simply not on to volunteer the services of someone who gets paid for that service, and to expect not to have to pay, or to fail to tell the other family there was a chance your babysitter would need paying. She is not a domestic lackey.

wiltingfast

"I would say to her you mind your job or you risk losing it."

If this was a permanent position then you may have a point depending on what the job actually was. But this is a casual job.