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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

so what do you think....is my babysitter being incredibly cheeky? or is she right

315 replies

ralphi · 04/02/2016 21:24

I have a babysitter for my daughter on a Wednesday afternoon as my son and daughter have activities that start at the same time but in wildly different places. She picks my daughter up, takes her to the activity, and then takes her home for an hour or so until I get home. Today I asked her to take a friend of my daughters to our house as well. When I got home ( half an hour before the end of the time I pay her for, but pay her for anyway if that makes sense) she asked me for double the money for the friend. I paid her, being very surprised, but now am really cross. Yes I know I should have said something but the girls were with me when we had the discussion and I didnt want to have a row in front of them. I only agreed to have the friend as a favour as her üarents have separated and he had to work late. Was she incredibly cheeky or AIBU?

OP posts:
HSMMaCM · 06/02/2016 08:57

She's not overpaid on other days, she's paid for the hours she was booked for. That's fair.

DrSeussRevived · 06/02/2016 08:59

". I hate how babysitters have become so grabby- it was £5 for a whole evening and a few snacks back in my day"

Grabby?

Whatever.

And presumably when you do supply, you get offered 930-230 or whatever and those are the hours you do. If all parents in the class picked their kids up at 2, you wouldn't expect a pay cut, would you?

987flowers · 06/02/2016 09:07

Actually that's not how it works, if that were to happen I'd work elsewhere.

£5 and snacks was a jokey comment, hence the wink- that is/was unacceptable!

We don't know if she is booked for the whole hour or rounded up. I read it as she was booked until the time OP gets back but OP rounds up. You have read it differently!

987flowers · 06/02/2016 09:16

Sorry I know I'm getting over invested in this but I know of communication support workers who if their person is ill or doesn't turn up they don't get paid regardless of whether they were booked!

Will back away now!

Would like more facts about money and contract though from OP

DrSeussRevived · 06/02/2016 09:22

987, that's shit for those workers!

Blondeshavemorefun · 06/02/2016 09:44

I keep saying it. It's not hard work to have an extra child in this senerio

Bs picks up 2 children at maybe 330. Walk to activity. Sits alone for 30/60 mins while op dd and other child do activity. Walk home taking 5 mins. Has 2 children for 30/60 mins till op gets home

BoneyBackJefferson · 06/02/2016 10:01

Blonde

It may not be hard work but it is more responsibility, the sitter or child minder etc. isn't doing this as a favour they are doing this for the money.

If people realised that they are buying this persons time then maybe we wouldn't end up with people expecting them to do extra for nothing, IMO the next part of this are those that pay young people to sit their children for 4 hours then turn up after 8 hours and expect the extra hours for nothing.

DrSeussRevived · 06/02/2016 10:06

TBF blondes, you are a seasoned professional! It's certainly extra responsibility - what if the other child hurt herself or ran off, for example?

Narp · 06/02/2016 10:10

Blondes

I don't think you can categorically state that in this instance it was not more work. And it was more responsibility.

Blondeshavemorefun · 06/02/2016 10:13

They are 6. Quite capable of behaving and walking nicely or they get their hands held Grin

They are Not tear away toddlers

It was a one off

Yes I am a professional and situations like these are give and take.

Once is fine. If happened again then I would say something and discuss pay

But I'm used to helping out parents /taking an extra child /picking
Up etc

NeedsAsockamnesty · 06/02/2016 10:14

It does not matter if it is extra work or not.

She was given a additional task (collecting and supervising an extra child) she should be paid for it.

Blondeshavemorefun · 06/02/2016 10:15

And was for maybe 3hrs - 30/60 mins bs didn't have children as at the activity

It not a 10/12 hr day

Op - we know bs is 17 - what do you pay her - how many hours (assuming 2.5/3) and what was the activity?

Assume something like ballet / gym where bs just sits and waits /watches

JeanGenie23 · 06/02/2016 10:18

This is absolutely making my bloody boil now.

The babysitter isn't being overpaid. The OP turned up earlier than expected, but absolutely should pay for the hours she booked. If she turns up 30mins early on a regular basis then it's up to OP to change hours but until then it should be paid for, and not used as extra ammunition to take down this poor babysitter.

I hate threads like this because they turn so nasty and vile. Just because babysitter is a teenager she should put up and shut up, is that it? Shocking responses.

OP it would be useful if you could reply and let us know how much the babysitter is paid and how often you use her.

Dragonsdaughter · 06/02/2016 10:19

The BS is 17 ! People on here moan about playdates they have arranged for thier children saying how difficult another child is. So op lands a casual baby sitter with another six year old - with no thought of extra paymentas she admits she neither offered or asked !! just an assumption th BS will suck it up and in effect do a favour for some man she doesnt know and has no responsablity to. And all those saying oghh sack her - would love to see the op try to replace the BS wuth somone with a qualigication/childminder etc for the same price gor a once a week very inconveniently time personalised 'nanny ' service to and from an activity. Op take some responsablity - you should have asked about extra cost or offered what you felt was reasonable BEFORE- do you pay her holiday pay or sick pay or of your daughter is ogf ill ??? I would guess not from your casual assumptions.

Narp · 06/02/2016 10:25

I agree Dragons

Higge · 06/02/2016 10:36

I do find it shocking how poorly paid some babysitters are. We have always paid our babysitters a lot more than the going rate because we feel that they do a valuable job - we also expect them to do more than sit on Facebook while they look after our kids.
Did the op say how much she paid the babysitter - I suspect the babysitter feels underpaid for the 2 hours she works.

DrSeussRevived · 06/02/2016 10:36

Blondes, the sitter had never met this particular 6 year old - who knows if she's a runner? And hurting herself is an age independent risk.

Toughasoldboots · 06/02/2016 10:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Blondeshavemorefun · 06/02/2016 10:39

Op didn't say she wouldn't pay if didn't use the full hours. She said she paid the half hour she didn't use at double pay where if being picky she could have paid bs at her 3hrs as usual plus 2.5hrs for extra child

For example. Normally pay bs £6 for 3 hrs so £18 - this is my figure not what op pays as op hasn't said what she pays

Bs wanted £36

Total cheek

Blondeshavemorefun · 06/02/2016 10:40

Then the bs could and should have texted back I don't feel confident looking after a child I don't know

Op did ask her She could have said no

If she is cheeky confident enough to ask for double pay in person then sure she could have said no via text iyswim

QuietWhenReading · 06/02/2016 10:42

I think it is important to remember that you aren't paying the babysitter for what they are doing but for what they might have to do.

As babysitting teens my sister and I dealt with several serious emergency medical situations, the fuses blowing in a house, repeated obscene phone calls from an OW and one 999 call because of a DV situation in next door's garden.

A bargain at £2.50 per hour.

Most of the time we just sat and studied of course.

Narp · 06/02/2016 10:44

Blondes

Yes, she should have, but maybe she felt differently after she did it.

Dragonsdaughter · 06/02/2016 10:46

I actually think Blondes if you are a 'professional' your casual assumption that its no extra work is worrying. 6 year olds are not little robots that are all the same and will respnd in exactly the same way - I had one extreammly compliant 6 year old and one that woulld scare the inhabitants of hell.

Dragonsdaughter · 06/02/2016 10:47

Shes 17. - the op is the one varing the contact and the one who should have asked or offered re payment.

RubyRoseViolet · 06/02/2016 10:53

It seems like a misunderstanding to me. The op assumed she wouldn't need to pay more, the babysitter assumed she would. Neither even considered it needed to be discussed.

As for who is right I think the answer is somewhere in the middle. I think as a one of favour I would be happy to pick up another child to mind for free. I'd expect this to be acknowledged though. If it became a regular thing then I would expect to be paid more. I remember being in a similar situation when I was younger. I looked after 2 children 2 days a week. The mum then informed me that 3 of their friends would be joining us for one of the days. She just assumed it would be OK. I felt very annoyed and after establishing this was to be a long term thing and the assumption was that I'd do it for no extra pay I left.