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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

so what do you think....is my babysitter being incredibly cheeky? or is she right

315 replies

ralphi · 04/02/2016 21:24

I have a babysitter for my daughter on a Wednesday afternoon as my son and daughter have activities that start at the same time but in wildly different places. She picks my daughter up, takes her to the activity, and then takes her home for an hour or so until I get home. Today I asked her to take a friend of my daughters to our house as well. When I got home ( half an hour before the end of the time I pay her for, but pay her for anyway if that makes sense) she asked me for double the money for the friend. I paid her, being very surprised, but now am really cross. Yes I know I should have said something but the girls were with me when we had the discussion and I didnt want to have a row in front of them. I only agreed to have the friend as a favour as her üarents have separated and he had to work late. Was she incredibly cheeky or AIBU?

OP posts:

Original poster

ralphi · 04/02/2016 21:47

I did check with her first, but I guess I should have explicitly asked about costs.

OP posts:

Floggingmolly · 04/02/2016 21:48

How is it doubling the workload?? Babysitters charge an hourly rate; they don't charge the going rate x 3 if you happen to have 3 children.

Original poster

ralphi · 04/02/2016 21:50

she has been taking care of my daughter for just over a year ( plus a few evenings when we went out and she had both kids) and apart from my son onthose evenings I have never asked her before to take another child.

OP posts:

Myredcardigan · 04/02/2016 21:50

Really? She's not a CM having an extra child for 8hours. She gave an extra child s lift back then minded them for half an hour.
If she wanted more money she should have asked for it when she agreed to pick up the extra girl.

Cleensheetsandbedding · 04/02/2016 21:51

I think YABU. She nights have thought you were going to make a habit of it.

starfishmummy · 04/02/2016 21:52

I think you are both wrong. You for thinking it wouldn't cost more and her for not saying it would be more when she agreed.

Its also unclear whether the other child was looked after for the same length of time; so I think double pay is a bit steep.

NanaNina · 04/02/2016 21:53

I am amazed at how many people think you are being unreasonable. It's ridiculous to ask for double and would turn me off the babysitter. Presumably the 2 girls played together anyway. Can't believe the cheek of the woman.

ManneryTowers · 04/02/2016 21:53

Childminders are per child, babysitters are per hour.
You checked it was ok and she said yes. Time then to tell you it would cost more. You also paid her for time she didn't work. She is being U.

QuietWhenReading · 04/02/2016 21:57

Did you ask how the girls behaved?

Do they walk back from the activity? Were they running ahead, messing about at crossings, being cheeky or winding each other up?

I'm pretty sure she charged because she doesn't want to do it again. There will be a reason why.

janethegirl2 · 04/02/2016 21:58

I'd get rid, she's taking the piss.

BlackEyedPeas · 04/02/2016 21:58

were both children asleep? or the lady was running after each of them?

Lets say you are paid £10 to type 1000 words. But today, someone wants you to type 2000 words for £10. Cool!

janethegirl2 · 04/02/2016 21:59

Or clarify the terms. Is it per hour or per child? And ensure she sticks to what is agreed!

timelytess · 04/02/2016 22:00

She is right, you are wrong. You don't change someone's terms and conditions (from one child to two) without proper consultation and proper recompense.

LikeTheShoes · 04/02/2016 22:00

Totally not ok! She should have made it clear when you let her know.
I would tell her you're not happy and possibly look for a new person to do your Wednesday pick up.
She can't just decide to double her rates without letting you know!

oneowlgirl · 04/02/2016 22:02

I think she was right to ask for extra money - she's agreed to look after your DD for a set price & you added to that. She should have pointed it out when you asked her but likely she assumed you'd offer more & therefore equally thinks you're unreasonable for not offering her the money & putting her in a position whereby she had to ask for it.

VinoTintoPorFavor · 04/02/2016 22:03

BlackEyedPeas that makes no sense at all. If you must use your typing analogy, it's like someone pays £10 for 1000 words and then they want you to copy and paste it so that it's typed out twice - a little more work, but nowhere near double.

Writerwannabe83 · 04/02/2016 22:03

She was probably feeling taken advantage of - not by you but by the other mother who was effectively using your childminder for free childcare.

janethegirl2 · 04/02/2016 22:04

I'd try and find alternative child care and be clear how and what you pay. Is it per child, per hour, per session etc? And what do you expect them to do....feed the child, clean their room, supervise homework etc etc

ManneryTowers · 04/02/2016 22:04

Oh ffs trotting out the legalease 'terms and conditions'. She isn't an employee. Go down that route and the OP can counter that the babysitter needs to carry out any reasonable duties requested of her. The OP did 'consult' and the babysitter made no mention of additional costs then.

Original poster

ralphi · 04/02/2016 22:05

yes they walked back... it is not even 5 minutes from our house ... I dont think that they misbehaved as dd has bad asthma at the moment and is a bit tired, but not having been there they might have wound each other up. I think I was just very surprised thats all, as it did very suddenly seem very grabby, but maybe the other girl was a challenge. Not sure,her parents have just separated which was how it all came about as they are sharing custody and he had his kids but had to work late. And no, there is no way I would ever ask them for the money, will just chalk it up to experience and remember to clarify these things in the future. But it has left me with an od feeling about her.

OP posts:

VinoTintoPorFavor · 04/02/2016 22:06

Oh ffs trotting out the legalease 'terms and conditions'.
Exactly. It's a (relatively) casual babysitting arrangment ffs. Ts&Cs indeed.

Blondeshavemorefun · 04/02/2016 22:06

when you texted and asked she should have said fine but will be extra

but

nannies/bs are paid per family not child

as i said earlier it was a one off, once in a year it seems

i think the babysitter was cheeky tbh

i think you are being given a hard time

as a nanny ive had friends over for playdates, i wouldnt charge the nanny family extra

if it was an every week thing then yes maybe bit extra but it was once

and bet you never ask her again op

987flowers · 04/02/2016 22:07

From now on I'd pay her just what you owe and not round up!

NeedsAsockamnesty · 04/02/2016 22:07

Sitters.co.uk suggest an additional fee to be paid to the sitter if friends are round on sleepovers or play dates

Audreyhelp · 04/02/2016 22:08

I think you put her on the spot. I am a nanny it wouldn't bother me if it was occasional.
However it will probably discourage you from doing it again.

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