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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

giving a baby a biscuit

359 replies

Lolly1984 · 02/02/2016 14:43

My ds, 7 months came with me to a return to work chat, unofficial. Nice colleague said she'd look after him in office.
Come back to find hes had some banana and a shortcake biscuit.
Not a massive problem, but hes 7 months, and I'm not happy hes had something sweet. Hes also allergic to dairy so now I have a sad, spotty baby with tummy ache.
I didn't say anything coz she's the kind of person to get upset, crocodile tears, and tell everyone her mistake.
But now I'm home I'm fuming!
Aibu?! Who gives a baby a biscuit without checking with parent?!

OP posts:
EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 03/02/2016 15:56

Err no, Cats. I really cannot imagine you are as dim as you are trying to make out. DD did not become ill because some of you get upset about the odd biscuit - that is facetious.

It is about people giving babies/young children unnecessary foodstuffs and then people like you guffawing about those parents being all 'PFB' about it. Parents not wanting their children to eat certain things, (no matter what may or may not have happened in the past) have a reason for their children to not eat certain things. And as it can, at times, be life-threatening, it is not helpful for someone like you to think it is just one big hilarious joke. Comments like 'How are you doing in PFB land' are vacuous and unhelpful, and, dare I say - rather insulting.

My DD didn't have an allergic reaction to a biscuit, it was something else, which is beside the point somewhat. The fact remains you DO NOT give a baby or very young child (who cannot speak for themselves) something to eat without first checking with their responsible adult. In this particular instance, a seven-month old baby would still probably be in the weaning process, so no-one in their right mind would offer a foodstuff, when only cuddling the baby for 10-15 mins. For someone else's baby, it could have been the banana containing a potential allergen. Again, you are missing the point, thinking this is a bit of a non-issue about a baby being given a bit of a biscuit to suck on.

And to anyone saying "The mother should have mentioned any allergies". At that very young age, a mother might not even be aware of any potential allergies or intolerances. Weaning is done in a controlled environment.

You give your own children all the biscuits you like - don't give them to other people's babies without first asking and then 'LOL' about it in 'PFB Land' when an allergic reaction occurs.

It is your attitude that stinks, IMO.

TheCatsMeow · 03/02/2016 16:04

Evan the PFB comment was to people being funny about sugar, which I thought you were when you replied

There's a difference between not wanting your child to have something they're allergic to and saying "no sugar". My child has allergies. I obviously don't want him to eat certain things.

I don't get this weaning is done in a controlled environment means. My son is weaned anywhere and I'm not always there.

I think you're being sensitive because of your history with allergies.

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 03/02/2016 16:19

Oh FFS

You might not be there when your son is weaned - but SOMEONE responsible is, surely? And you would have left certain instructions? He's not doing it all on his own, otherwise someone should be calling Social Services. Confused

Not sure why you think ANY of my comments refer to the sugar aspect - I have not mentioned sugar in a derogatory term in any of my posts, I don't think.

The point I have tried to get across (but you continue to studiously ignore it) is that you don't give someone else's baby something to eat without first checking with the parent. Why is that such a difficult concept to grasp?

And I don't think I'm being over-sensitive with allergies; again, you are being facetious and insulting - this could happen to anyone at any time. Some people just don't understand the difference between allergy and intolerance, and just exactly how life-threatening food allergies can be. Not over-sensitive at all, sensible and cautious maybe! Certainly nothing to 'lol' about.

bruffin · 03/02/2016 16:28

You are being oversensitive with allergies, my ds allergies didnt happen until he was 4, most allergies dont show up at weaning, they happen anytime in life.
Since we have become more controlling about weaning ie allergies have got worse, which is why there is the EAT study and the Leap study etc are looking at introduction of allergenic food earlier rather than delaying those foods.

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 03/02/2016 16:40

There, now you see Bruffin - that is where you are not entirely correct. Most allergies don't show up in early life, but sister's DD was allergic to eggs and dairy from early babyhood.

My DD is now 23, so please don't try to tell me about being over-sensitive to allergies. Do you really think I haven't researched it, in all these years? Confused

Sister's DD has outgrown hers, my DD has developed more as time has gone by.

Babies can be allergic to all sorts of things and you are right in saying they can happen at any time in life (which I mentioned earlier).

So my point remains - you should not give a baby/young child anything to eat without first checking with the parent. Very young babies can have an intolerance/allergy to dairy, which of course can be contained within a biscuit, which the new mother may not be aware of.

I rest my case, M'Lud!

Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 03/02/2016 16:43

catsmeow, I wouldn't bother trying to reason with the PFB Brigade - Clearly a bloody biscuit is a one way ticket to obesity and diabetes, and we should all be as neurotic wonderful as they are.

Not me though - me and DD have just had cake AND a hot chocolate on the way home from school, and it was lush! I'LL await the knock on the door from SS 😂

TheCatsMeow · 03/02/2016 16:49

Evan yes someone's there, I tell them not to give him dairy. Because I don't expect people to instinctively not give dairy.

Because you responded to my post which was about someone being daft about sugar in biscuits!!!

It's quite normal to give a baby a biscuit if you don't want them to, tell them. It's up to you to tell them

Yes you are, because your daughter has an allergy you're overreacting to something quite benign

TheCatsMeow · 03/02/2016 16:50

what I recogn these are the same people who have strict limits on screen time and don't let their 11 and 362 year old watch a 12A because they're "not 12 yet".

Can't stand people like that.

Lolly1984 · 03/02/2016 16:53

Its an allergy thing, not a sugar/diabetes/devil us sugar thing. 6yr old ds is eating haribo as I type, but looking after a baby for 15 minutes and giving him a biscuit is not acceptable. Choking, my preference for him not eating sweet things, allergies even possible religious reasons is the reason to check with a parent first. Whatever or wherever the circumstances

OP posts:
EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 03/02/2016 16:53

Not really Cats - as the OP said her baby had a reaction to the biscuit he had been given. How is that benign?

And Whatthe - perhaps you haven't noticed, but things have moved on from the obesity/diabetes threat. Grin

TheCatsMeow · 03/02/2016 16:53

my preference for him not eating sweet things

So it is a sugar thing. And PFB.

TheCatsMeow · 03/02/2016 16:54

Evans yes and I understand why she's annoyed about that but she should have said he's allergic

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 03/02/2016 16:56

It's quite normal to give a baby a biscuit

No, it's not normal, in a normal world. Not without checking first.

TheCatsMeow · 03/02/2016 16:57

Evan considering most people have said it is...

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 03/02/2016 16:58

she should have said he's allergic

She probably wasn't expecting someone to just give the baby a biscuit in the 10-15 mins she was holding him. Most normal people wouldn't do that, if they had any sense at all!

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 03/02/2016 16:59

considering most people have said it is

No, they haven't. At best, I'd say 50/50 split. Without doing a headcount, it is impossible to say. But most people haven't said it is okay.

Lolly1984 · 03/02/2016 17:00

Learn to read. Not sugar, not pfb. Allergy diagnosis relatively new and as we've not really started weaning I didn't think it was an issue. Ive learnt my lesson, luckily it wasn't a severe reaction, then id have guilt as well as being an over sensitive controlling helicopter mum.

OP posts:
Muskateersmummy · 03/02/2016 17:00

Lolly... Out of interest, does your colleague have children?

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 03/02/2016 17:02

362 year old

Crikey - if I had one of these I'd surely be dead Grin

Lolly1984 · 03/02/2016 17:02

Yes, and grandchildren

OP posts:
Muskateersmummy · 03/02/2016 17:06

In which case it is a little more strange. As I can understand someone without kids having no understanding of weaning/appropriate foods.

Still think that it's not unusual for people to offer food to children. And if you don't want this, you needed to say so. Lesson learned as you say. Smile

bruffin · 03/02/2016 17:09

Evans a mother of a 20 year old with nut and seed allergies i am in the same position as you and have done my own research. Allergies show up anytime of life, my ds was 4 and he has grown out of peanut, but not treenut ir sesame seed.

TheCatsMeow · 03/02/2016 17:21

11 and 362 year old

Not a 362 year old.

OP then why do you keep saying "I don't want him to have something sweet"?

coconutpie · 03/02/2016 17:24

There must be some parallel universe on MN if people think it is normal to give a baby a biscuit. Fine if you want to feed your own babies biscuits or whatever else you so choose but to give a baby a biscuit (or any food for that matter) without asking the parent first is completely inappropriate. And this nonsense of it being the OP's fault for not telling her colleague not to given biscuit is ridiculous - a normal person wouldn't even think to tell someone who is holding their baby for a few mins not to feed them anything! It's pretty obvious that it goes without saying! If I was left holding someone's baby for a few mins, my first thought wouldn't be to give them a random piece of food.

TheCatsMeow · 03/02/2016 17:26

coconut we don't know what happened. Maybe the person was eating and the baby grabbed it? Maybe the person had it out and the baby looked interested?

I doubt she just randomly gave it to the baby