Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

AIBU not to offer a lift every evening?

189 replies

DaniBubbles · 01/02/2016 10:04

Not sure if how I'm feeling is reasonable or just plain selfish.

I have worked with my colleague for nearly 5 years. In that time we have always had different finishing times i.e. one would finish at least 2 hours before the other. Now my boss has changed our hours so we both finish at the same time. My colleague doesn't drive and now that we both finish at the same time, she seems to now be expecting a lift home every evening because we "both live in the same direction". While this is technically true, it also involves me driving past my house and carrying on another 2 miles (so 4 there and back) to drop her at her house. Our new finishing time is 5pm so with the traffic through the city centre, this will take me at least another 20 minutes before I get home.

Normally this wouldn't be a problem but my DP works backshift and has to leave for work at 6pm. With our shift pattern, I am already in bed by the time he finishes work and he is still in bed by the time I get up for work in the morning.. so essentially this 50 minutes between me getting home at 5.10pm and him leaving for work at 6pm is the only real time we get to see each other Monday to Thursday. The way we work it just now is he has dinner on the table for me coming in and afterwards we have about half an hour to catch up/have a chat/spend time together.

My colleague knows this but still insists on asking for lifts every evening. I'd still be willing to offer lifts if the weather was terrible or there was an emergency but do you think I'm being pedantic over what is essentially only 20 minutes??

OP posts:
OnlyLovers · 02/02/2016 10:01

Vache, when the OP explains her home set-up in her OP, she says 'My colleague knows this'. She's already had an explanation but she keeps asking.

OnlyLovers · 02/02/2016 10:01

x-post, expat!

UnderCrackers5 · 02/02/2016 10:46

If your boss pulled you aside and said, 'Dani , I have some great news. You can work an extra 2 hours a week for no pay, in fact we will reduce your pay by £200 a year for the privilege. And just to make it better we will come around every night and rub some mud into your cars carpet and f@rt all over the passenger seat.'

you would tell him to stick his job up his bum

Hygge · 02/02/2016 12:21

"If your boss pulled you aside and said, 'Dani , I have some great news. You can work an extra 2 hours a week for no pay, in fact we will reduce your pay by £200 a year for the privilege. And just to make it better we will come around every night and rub some mud into your cars carpet and f@rt all over the passenger seat.'

you would tell him to stick his job up his bum"

This, from UnderCrackers is perfect. Grin

If she keeps pushing you for a lift, ask her if she would take anyone up on this offer? And if not, why does she think it's fair that she expects you to do it.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 02/02/2016 12:25

If you wanted to help could she not cycle to yours? and if its not many miles further carry on cycling all the way into work?

trulybadlydeeply · 02/02/2016 12:32

Has she asked about tonight yet? Grin

Notgrumpyjustquiet · 02/02/2016 12:41

I've been on both sides of this one. Was offered a lift to work by a colleague who lived nearby who never wanted petrol money etc, it worked well for a while until one day I realised I had been stood in the pissing rain for nearly half an hour with no sign of her, got to work eventually and she claimed to have driven past and I wasn't there (I was), guess that was the arrangement cancelled then. I would have preferred her to detach herself from the situation a little more gently along the lines of 'won't be able to do this tomorrow/ next week/ ever again because of ...' as pp have suggested to you.

Years later I used to give another colleague a lift home if we were finishing at the same time so we could decompress, I never wanted petrol money and used to tip him out at my house and he walked the rest of the way. The difference was I was happy with it whereas you are not.

RainOhJoyus · 02/02/2016 17:43

Want to know if she asked again tonight!
There is no both sides they if she knows she's taking away from time with OPs husband

cupcakesandwine · 02/02/2016 19:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cupcakesandwine · 02/02/2016 19:46

Sorry, I turned my back to fetch something and my DS (13) thought this was a funny thing to do. I have reported.

MNHQ
PresidentOliviaMumsnet · 02/02/2016 19:49
Lweji · 02/02/2016 21:15

LOL at President.

As you were.

rollonthesummer · 02/02/2016 21:40

Come back, OP!

NattyNatural · 03/02/2016 12:02

I would say either you give her a lift to yours and she makes her way home the rest of the journey OR you take her the whole way and you say to her that she gives you what she would normally give to the taxi driver!!

Win win you get a few quid extra and she gets your company

New posts on this thread. Refresh page