To not want to go to a wedding when the invite has one of those stupid money beging poems in it

[bloated1977]

Apparently they think shopping is a pain so we can gratefully give them cash or cheques. AIBU to actually buy them a present?

My nephew's wedding last summer had a suggestion of giving money instead of presents. He was 30 so established, and living in China, so tricky to schlep toasters and towel bails.

We were not offended at all. In fact, we loved being able to give money. Similarly the previous year, we went to the wedding of one of our nannies. They wanted to plan an epic trip. They already had all the basics and weren't particularly interested in fine china.

Our motivations for going to these weddings were to see people and spend time with them. The presents were insignificant. To me, the best presents are the ones that the recipients are happy to receive. It's not about what makes me feel good. I am happy of they are happy.

Cash gifts are the norm in Ireland - in fact a gift would almost be frowned upon at this point (although graciously accepted publicly). We are not talking small amounts of cash either and family members and the bridal party usually give quite a bit. Most people do have big weddings and the cash is very very much used to pay for the reception.

But where cash is generally expect did assume that no one insults their invitees by sending them a horrifically bad poem they spent 10 minutes googling for. People just know that it's the done thing to give money if people are getting married.

"home catered, or in a church hall, etc. cake & punch, no meal. "

That kind of wedding doesn't have to be very small, does it? I'm not talking about simple weddings, only about very small ones. Also, there is a difference between going against the norm of the time and following the norm of the time, if you see what I mean.

According to the ONS, when it was not usual for couples to live together before marriage, those who did so had more chance of divorcing once married, once it became usual to live together before marriage, the opposite is true.

"Cash gifts are the norm in Ireland"

An Irish woman told me 100E was expected. I'm afraid I wouldn't take part in that particular tradition.

100E at the very least I would say.

100E is a lot of money, particularly for people who also have to pay for travel and accommodation, even if you don't need a new dress.

I wouldn't be able to go to an Irish wedding with those sort of expectations. How do they expect everyone to afford it?

I've read all the comments on the thread and I still can't see any explanation for how the poems are OK.

Yes, yes, if you want/need the money, ask for it by all means.
Just ask me for 'cash presents' that let me work out what I can afford; don't tell me to be generous in iambic quadrameters you've printed off the Internet that don't rhyme very well.

Otherwise, ought we to rhyme invoices?

"Two weeks ago I fixed your plumbing
Stopped your radiator humming
And stopped a most peculiar rap
Emitting from your bathroom tap
I hope you don't think that I'm nosy
When I say I hope you're cosy
If with my work you're satisfied
Please open up your chequebook wide
And write a new one out to me
For eighty pounds plus VAT"
(disclaimer - I'm not a plumber, just cba to rhyme anything with stuff I do)

Arf, vlad.