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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To spend some of the kids' Christmas money on a meal out?

339 replies

Happythistime · 27/01/2016 17:34

Can't decide whether this sits right with me or not.

We are thinking of taking the kids to the Rainforest Cafe at the weekend. It is super expensive due to its central London location and themed interior. I want us to go and not wince at the prices and I know the kids will love it so am toying with using a little bit of their Christmas money that they've received from relatives to go towards the bill.

I think that if Christmas money I had given to a child went towards a nice day out, be it a meal or a show or something similar I'd be happy with that. Usually we just put their gift money straight into savings as they have more toys than they need. A bit of me worries though that people would see it as me and DH profiting from their xmas presents. We would obviously pay the bulk of it and only put a bit of their money towards enabling us to go and enjoy it without feeling resentful at the prices. AIBU?

OP posts:
RebeccaCloud9 · 27/01/2016 18:05

I think it's fine:
a) it sounds like a lovely experience so counts as a 'gift' and
b) if the people who gave money are that bothered about what it should be spent on then they should have bought the actual gift instead of giving money.

lastqueenofscotland · 27/01/2016 18:06

YANBU to use t for a day out
Yabvvvvvvu to even contemplate spending a penny at rainforest cafe

liinyo · 27/01/2016 18:09

When our DDs were little we spent some of their gift money on flights to Ireland (just their own flights not ours). It was their first flight and we gave them the choice of that or saving/toys. They were so proud that they had paid for the treat themselves and as a family we got a holiday we couldn't have afforded otherwise.

Now 20 years on we have a home in Ireland and they treat flying there like getting on and off a bus, but they still remember the thrill of buying those tickets.

Ludways · 27/01/2016 18:10

I'm actually firmly in the experiences over material goods camp. So I'll go with I'd actually prefer anyone to spend money I've given them on experiences. I love getting tickets etc for gifts !

expatinscotland · 27/01/2016 18:10

When I give money as a gift it's no longer mine and I care not if it's given away, spent on a meal, whatever. I wouldn't give money if I were the type to get judgy about how it's spent.

A day out sounds a fine way to spend it to me.

I used some of DD2's to pay for her panto ticket which was £25 the week before Xmas (she went with a group she's involved in).

whois · 27/01/2016 18:10

This is treat for all of you.

It's hardly a treat for the parents, going to the rainforest cafe! Also OP said they would pay most of it anyway.

DickDewy · 27/01/2016 18:11

If you need their money - then spend it. They're only 3 and 6!

I'd be inclined to pay it back, but that's just me.

whois · 27/01/2016 18:11

To clarify, I think it's fine.

mouldycheesefan · 27/01/2016 18:12

I think there re lots of better things in London to spend the money in to be honest than a burger and chips. Get a happy meal instead.

CrotchetQuaverMinim · 27/01/2016 18:12

Sounds entirely fine to me! It's all part of a treat, somewhere they might not go otherwise. And at that age, parents do decide what kind of things the children would like. I'd be totally happy if my gifts were spent on something like that.

CrotchetQuaverMinim · 27/01/2016 18:13

the relatives could have asked you what they should buy otherwise, and you might have suggested specific toys, or vouchers to a restaurant/attraction - this seems no different to me, parents are still deciding what they think their children would enjoy, which is exactly what the gift is for. (Unless relatives has specifically said 'this money is for savings/big items/education/etc).

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 27/01/2016 18:13

Can't you put their money towards a different part of your weekend so that it feels more like a treat (gift shop toy, London eye etc.) and just accept that the RFC will be extortionate. Or put it all in a pot for the weekend so that you don't know which bits 'they paid for'. Might make it sit more easily.

YoureAllABunchOfBastards · 27/01/2016 18:18

Take them.

We went to the one in Disneyland Paris and the kids adored it - they were 7 and 5 and two years on they still talk about that particular meal.

I haven't told them there is one in London!

notmaryberry · 27/01/2016 18:18

I'd say yes, do it. I haven't been to RFC for years, but I think a 3 year old and 6 year old will love it. I'm afraid the food can be disappointing though, so brace yourselves for that!

peggyundercrackers · 27/01/2016 18:18

I would be completely fine with pants or that really tickets - paying for a burger sorry absolutely no. Given your kids are only 3 & 6 their food bill won't actually be that expensive so the money is really to subside your meal.

peggyundercrackers · 27/01/2016 18:19

Not pants or that - panto or theatre. Fucking autocorrect!!

SouthWestmom · 27/01/2016 18:22

Bear in mind you have to enter and exit through a horribly over priced shop and the food is massively expensive for what it is.

chibsortig · 27/01/2016 18:22

Once money is given as a gift does it matter how it is used as long as the child benefits?
Maybe next time i give a gift i should specify exactly how i expect it to be used.

I'd use the money and enjoy your day out the kids will love it.

AmysTiara · 27/01/2016 18:25

I think it's fine. Have a lovely day out

Original poster
Happythistime · 27/01/2016 18:26

Given your kids are only 3 & 6 their food bill won't actually be that expensive

I wish...kids meals are £13 or £16 with an activity pack...

Seems to have divided the crowd this one!

As to our choice of venue - I know the food is going to be a bit disappointing and am braced for that but hoping the atmosphere inside will seem really cool for them and a change from the usual pizza express/prezzo places we visit.

I did start a thread on chat a few days ago to see if anyone had any ideas for exciting kids meal out in London venues that weren't RFC but had no luck with that.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 27/01/2016 18:27

It's not for the giver to dictate how it's spent. If people feel that way they shouldn't give money.

WoodleyPixie · 27/01/2016 18:30

Do it! The food is fine. Ok it's not michelin starred or gourmet but it's perfectly edible. We have been a few times. We went last year for dd's birthday and she loved it.

The children are past the slightly worn and a bit scruffy in parts decor. The animatronic animals are good fun and the storm all add to the atmosphere. I'd book a table if you can.

I'm sure over the day/weekend you will spend plenty on them and perhaps to ease guilt the christmas money part could be spent on the gifts from the rfc shop or the m&m store etc.

LeanneBattersby · 27/01/2016 18:30

I always lol at these threads. I once spent some of my son's christening money on food as we were completely skint due to many unavoidable reasons. I figured he'd rather not die of hunger while having sixty quid in the bank for a rainy day. It was a very rainy day.

I think the last time I revealed this on here I was called selfish.

Emeralli · 27/01/2016 18:31

I don't think it's ok!

If you feel it's too expensive, choose somewhere cheaper to suit your budget. It's not as though the children have chosen to spend their money in this way! It strikes me as bizarre, mean and petty to use their Christmas money for a family meal out! That money is theirs, to be spent on something of their choice or to be saved for them to use later. I doubt they'd choose to blow it on some food in a fancy over-priced cafe! Sounds more like YOU want to go there but resent the prices!

I would not be happy if a relative did this with money I'd given her children.

Katenka · 27/01/2016 18:31

leanne that's completely different.

I disagree with the OP but wouldn't have called you unreasonable or selfish.

The OPs kids aren't in danger of starving to death

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