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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To spend some of the kids' Christmas money on a meal out?

339 replies

Happythistime · 27/01/2016 17:34

Can't decide whether this sits right with me or not.

We are thinking of taking the kids to the Rainforest Cafe at the weekend. It is super expensive due to its central London location and themed interior. I want us to go and not wince at the prices and I know the kids will love it so am toying with using a little bit of their Christmas money that they've received from relatives to go towards the bill.

I think that if Christmas money I had given to a child went towards a nice day out, be it a meal or a show or something similar I'd be happy with that. Usually we just put their gift money straight into savings as they have more toys than they need. A bit of me worries though that people would see it as me and DH profiting from their xmas presents. We would obviously pay the bulk of it and only put a bit of their money towards enabling us to go and enjoy it without feeling resentful at the prices. AIBU?

OP posts:

Muskateersmummy · 27/01/2016 17:52

If I had given money for Xmas I would be more than happy to know it had contributed to a family trip to London. They will remember a trip to London way more than they will remember another set of Lego. I wouldn't think of it as the money paying for that set meal, just it's contributing to your family day trip/weekend away.

In fact we often ask for money for this sort of thing, not just for our children but for us too, instead of Xmas presents give us money or gift vouchers for days out, restaurants/hotels etc. Memories last a lifetime, toys a few years if your lucky

Original poster

Happythistime · 27/01/2016 17:53

It's a difficult one re asking them as we do go out to eat quite a lot, so that in itself wouldn't necessarily be a huge draw to them. I suspect, however, that they would love the RFC (overpriced food notwithstanding). Perhaps I'll show them some pics online and see what they say before we go to London.

Alternatively, I'll let the guilt win. Still go there and pay for it all ourselves whilst resenting every additional item on the bill and then feeling like we have less to spend the rest of the weekend!

OP posts:

Katedotness1963 · 27/01/2016 17:53

I think a meal out is a treat for the parents not the children.

Merguez · 27/01/2016 17:55

Whedon't you just go somewhere that's not such a rip off? Plenty of good restaurants in London!!

LaurieMarlow · 27/01/2016 17:55

No issue with spending their money if they will enjoy it. Wouldn't go to rainforest cafe though - food is awful, over priced crap. You are paying for the constructed environment. London is chock full of great restaurants.

AnnPerkins · 27/01/2016 17:55

You only go to the Rainforest Cafe for the kids. You wouldn't go for your own benefit.

lunar1 · 27/01/2016 17:56

I wouldn't, but they could take their Christmas money to London for their holiday spending money. I just couldn't make my children but their own meal with their Christmas money.

Katenka · 27/01/2016 17:56

Memories last a lifetime, toys a few years if your lucky

No they don't, kids forget stuff. We took dd to Florida at 5. She doesn't remember it at all, now she is 12.

The 6 year old may remember. The 3 year old, probably won't.

Mlb123 · 27/01/2016 17:56

I really do think you could give them a better treat with the xmas money. The food prices are really expensive and at their age they are unlikely to fully appreciate the place like they would a cheaper soft play type cafe. It is more a treat for you than them, but then saying that you are taking them on a trip to London so fine to use xmas money towards the trip whi ch they are bound to enjoy a lot of the experience

wlv12 · 27/01/2016 17:57

I spent my son's christmas money on theatre tickets for the panto.
I didn't ask them in advance if that's what they wanted to spend the money on. I knew they'd enjoy the experience, they have more than enough toys and money had been put aside already for savings.
A family trip out was in my mind, a good use for the money.

Katenka · 27/01/2016 17:57

I have only been the in RFC at Euro Disney. The food was rubbish and the interior wasn't amazing. Trees and a few moving animals.

Is the one in London different?

Solasum · 27/01/2016 17:57

Brasserie Zedel is just round the corner from there and burgers are very good. Go there to eat then just visit the RFC?

MrsItsNoworNotatAll · 27/01/2016 17:57

I wouldn't spend it a meal out. Besides if I suggested that to mine they'd say no.

And I agree with Katedotness

But it's up to you anyway.

Nanny0gg · 27/01/2016 17:58

If it was a trip they really wanted/asked to go on, then fine.

A restaurant you have chosen? No.

OnlyLovers · 27/01/2016 18:00

Of course it's a day out; they're going to London for the weekend.

'Buying their own food' is just another way of saying 'their money will go towards our London trip' that sounds less emotive and guilt-stirring.

I fully agree with Muskateers.

rosieliveson1 · 27/01/2016 18:00

It sounds lovely. Don't use it to pay the adult share, take a few photos and text/email/send a note to those who sent the money showing what it was spent on. I'd like that if I had given money. Have a great day!

Muskateersmummy · 27/01/2016 18:00

Maybe, but I still wouldn't feel guilty about using the money on a trip for the kids. What other activities will you be doing there? Would you feel less guilty if the money was contributing to an activity than the meal?

DinosaursRoar · 27/01/2016 18:01

The Rainforest Cafe is a bit more than just going for lunch somewhere, there's lots to see and DS's godmother took him as a birthday treat a year ago and he loved it. They are at an age where they'll get a lot from it - but it is very overpriced if you consider it just to be a place to grab some food rather than a thing in itself.

I'd have no problem if I heard a child's christmas money spent on this.

caitlinohara · 27/01/2016 18:01

Agree with Nanny0gg (love your name btw!) - it's not really fair to make that decision for them, if there's nothing they need it would be better to save it.

cariadlet · 27/01/2016 18:01

I wouldn't. I used to put most of dd's present money into her savings account when she was too young to know how much she had been given.

Now we negotiate how much goes into her savings. It's her money so she chooses how to spend whatever is left.
I think it's ok to ask children if they would like to spend some of their money on a meal, panto, day out etc. But I wouldn't choose how to spend their money for them. It wouldn't really feel right.

Shakey15000 · 27/01/2016 18:02

I'm in the "no" bus I'm afraid. Any money DS had when he was too young to appreciate the value etc went into his account. Now he's 8 he spends some himself and chooses to save some. I think if you want to take them, then bear the cost. But as others have said, there's cheaper places to go.

However it's entirely up to you 😊

CakeNinja · 27/01/2016 18:03

I wouldn't see a problem with it, I see it as going towards a nice day out and would be more than happy to donate towards it.
I often give money for nieces and nephews to be put towards things like this.
Days out are expensive. Unless the money was given with conditions attached (eg ONLY TO BE SPENT ON YET MORE TOYS).
Someone will come along in a minute and tell you that you are stealing from your child though.

mouldycheesefan · 27/01/2016 18:03

Rainforest cafe isn't very good, food is dire, you may be disappointed, just thought better wRn you.

Ludways · 27/01/2016 18:04

If I'd given them money, I'd be happy got it to go on their meals, no problem, go for it.

JakeBallardswife · 27/01/2016 18:05

I think it's fine too. Especially at that age. If they're older then you can let them choose anything off the menu they like. Experiences rock in my view. When mine were younger we used to use some of their birthday money towards their parties. All were happy including those who gave them the money.

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