To spend some of the kids' Christmas money on a meal out?

[Happythistime]

Can't decide whether this sits right with me or not.

We are thinking of taking the kids to the Rainforest Cafe at the weekend. It is super expensive due to its central London location and themed interior. I want us to go and not wince at the prices and I know the kids will love it so am toying with using a little bit of their Christmas money that they've received from relatives to go towards the bill.

I think that if Christmas money I had given to a child went towards a nice day out, be it a meal or a show or something similar I'd be happy with that. Usually we just put their gift money straight into savings as they have more toys than they need. A bit of me worries though that people would see it as me and DH profiting from their xmas presents. We would obviously pay the bulk of it and only put a bit of their money towards enabling us to go and enjoy it without feeling resentful at the prices. AIBU?

This thread is hilarious. Call the police!

Eating is a basic need. I think its distasteful to ineffect charge a child to eat a meal out. If i choose to take my children out for a meal , i dont take 15pounds of their money to subdised their cost of their meal. The benefit is for the parent who will pay less. The children don't understand. I have 7 year old and he said he wouldn't be happy if he had to pay for a meal and would rather choose what he wanted to spent it on e.g game, footie top,football sessions.

Of course she's depriving the children of their money if she takes it off them. What else is she doing? The fact that she proposes to use it to pay for an outing which she has chosen to go on, which she would normally pay for, but she perceives to be for their benefit won't change that.

I'm just thinking about another AIBU:

My parents took me out for a meal last night. They went to some trouble to choose somewhere they thought I would enjoy, and I was really pleased. Then I found that they had taken some money I was given for Christmas in order to pay part of the cost: they told me they would have found it hard to pay for it otherwise. AIBU to be seriously pissed off?

As a child, I never went for meals out, when it was a teenager my mum could just about afford a cheap meal in there truckers cafe, it was a highlight for us.
sunbeam do you know what the RFC is? She's not just taking them out to meet their basic need, its a very cool for children themed restaurant.

OP I bet you had a lovely time and your children will talk about it for weeks. The aunt would be very happy to receive a drawing of the forest of you wanted to get your children to do that if it made you feel better.

Stealing, ha!

"If you can't afford it, don't go"

Erm - that's kind of the point.

Regardless if its a themed restuarant you do not subised your childrens meals with their christmas money its morally and totally wrong. We don't go out for familys meals often but when we do we don't go to expensive places we can't afford and use our childrens christmas money. The whole thing is just off to me. Jeez if the kids get pocket money i buy sweets in the shop i dont take that off them. As another poster said when do you stop dipping into the childrens money?

I think for £15 per child you could choose a much better day out once you're not in London. You could go to a small theme park, a wildlife park, a theatre show, a water park - there are so many days out that would be such better value for money than an overpriced £16 kids meal and activity pack. You could go and see real animals! I think most children would prefer a fun day out to a meal at any restaurant, even a themed one such as RFC. I'm not denying they would like the RFC but unless there is literally nothing they would prefer to spend £15 each on and no alternative they would enjoy more I wouldn't do it with their own money.

But if you would wince at the cost how does using your child's money change that ?

When I am given money for my daughter it's is given to get her something she will enjoy. Why does that have to be a material something? Why can it not be an experience? My gifts from my husband are often a meal out/weekend away. In fact for Xmas our parents have paid towards a weekend away to London. How is this any different?! As a parent we often make choices as to what would be best for our children, so if given money to spend on our children as we wish (which is what Xmas money for a 3 year old is!) surely it's a parents call as to whether they would most enjoy a toy, a book, some new clothes, or a trip someone exciting?

Will the children's money be used to pay for everybody's meal or just theirs?

We're in a similar situation now. We're going to LEGOLAND next month for two days. Originally we were going to stay in a partner hotel. The LEGOLAND hotel is about £100 extra and we can't stretch to it. So we asked the dc about it, who both decided they wanted to stay in the 'proper' hotel - so they're chipping in £50 each of their Christmas money to pay for it.

The hotel is for all of us, so we'll all get the benefit of it. The dc are only 8 and nearly 6. I'm failing to feel guilty tbh, they'll pee their pants when they see it. And i'd much rather they spent the money on that, on what will hopefully contribute to a lovely memory, rather than material stuff.

Oh and they'll also be taking their own Christmas money for spends whilst we're there

Bloody hell - can't believe some of the comments on here! Parents who are going to give their kids a great experience and create lovely memories are accused of stealing!! Get a grip! At ages 3 and 6 surely parents make most of their kids decisions on their behalf including monetary ones? At that age my kids would have blown the lot on Moshi Monsters and sweets if given the option. Only now at 11 does my DD have free rein.

I want to know if all the posters on this thread who are so horrified at the idea of parents turning 'Christmas money' into a specific treat for their kids are ever asked by friends/relatives in the run-up to December, 'So, what would X like for Christmas?'

And if they are asked that, whether they always say, 'oh, I couldn't possibly suggest a specific gift; that would be immoral! My child must choose for him/herself!'

Or... do they think people give money because they think 5, 6 and 7-year-olds want money? Rather than because either they don't know what would be an appropriate gift to choose, or haven't got the time/energy to go shopping?

Lol at Sunbeam "a plea you want to go to, not them ". I think I can pretty much guarantee that NO family is there primarily for the parents' benefit. Or any adult. It isn't as if the kids are being dragged to an adult restaurant and made to spend the money on foam of skate wing and escargot.

I agree with expatinscotland - this thread is hilarious!

OP, have a lovely time in London with your children. I'd definitely suggest telling them that whoever gave them the money bought them a specific toy or activity (like RFC) whilst you're there. They can then write a nice thank you note/take a photo to give them.

I've also learnt that as someone who regularly gets Christmas/birthday money for my daughter from a relative overseas I'm definitely never sharing on MN what I spend it on for her!

Washediris i'm glad to hear that, sounds like it's worth the extra then!

Better than the dc spending that £100 on plastic tat and sweets (which would be their first idea had we not put the room suggestion to them)

On MN, toddlers are cultured little adults who would far rather eat miso marinated black cod, followed by a peruse around the Tate. When they pass Pizza Express, they force little Peresphone to look up and name the type of cloud, lest she catch tackiness by just looking at a chain restaurant.

In my real life, most parents try to encourage culture and education but unclench enough to know that sometimes kids like "chicken" nuggets and a shitty plastic toy.