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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To spend some of the kids' Christmas money on a meal out?

339 replies

Happythistime · 27/01/2016 17:34

Can't decide whether this sits right with me or not.

We are thinking of taking the kids to the Rainforest Cafe at the weekend. It is super expensive due to its central London location and themed interior. I want us to go and not wince at the prices and I know the kids will love it so am toying with using a little bit of their Christmas money that they've received from relatives to go towards the bill.

I think that if Christmas money I had given to a child went towards a nice day out, be it a meal or a show or something similar I'd be happy with that. Usually we just put their gift money straight into savings as they have more toys than they need. A bit of me worries though that people would see it as me and DH profiting from their xmas presents. We would obviously pay the bulk of it and only put a bit of their money towards enabling us to go and enjoy it without feeling resentful at the prices. AIBU?

OP posts:
Ineedtimeoff · 27/01/2016 19:24

providing food is what parents do yes but this isn't about providing food or about mum and dad having a meal out it's about a fun family experience at a themed restaurant. Not a bloody romantic meal for 2.

YANBU OP

I've used money given to DD for everything from a new jacket she needed to helping pay for activities as well as days out.

Easy to say that the money should go in the bank when you're bloody skint.

ghostyslovesheep · 27/01/2016 19:25

I don't think YABU - My uncle gave my £30 for 'the girls' at Christmas (£10 each) - they had had lots of toys and money anyway

so when I took them on the train to the Panto where they got pop and treats and entertainment - we had a meal beforehand and I put the £30 towards it

they didn't miss it

Dowser · 27/01/2016 19:26

I remember the rfc in Disney, Florida . Like someone else said , dingy, none too clean, isn't there a nice theatre show...chatty chatty bang bang for eg

Starbores · 27/01/2016 19:26

The way some people are going on you'd think you were using the money to pay for a babysitter and going out for a night on the lash Grin

BastardGoDarkly · 27/01/2016 19:27

Surely you'll still be wincing and resenting the price no matter who's paying? Go somewhere cheaper.

DrGoogleWillSeeYouNow · 27/01/2016 19:41

Putting Christmas gift money towards feeding your children doesn't sit well with me - unless they've specifically asked to eat at RFC and you can't afford it unless the children contribute towards the cost.

Tbh at the ages your children are I doubt they give a rats ass where in particular they eat, and would be just as happy with a McDonald's.

goingmadinthecountry · 27/01/2016 19:46

Definitely wouldn't sit right with me so I would never do it. I'd be unhappy if I'd given the money too. Certainly wouldn't expect to cover the cost of meals etc for adults. I also agree it is definitely not worth the money and there's the thought your youngest might scream and refuse to go in, as mine did. It's not what the money's for. Gifts after a trip out are a different thing. It just seems bad manners to me. If you can't afford it, don't go. If you can afford it, pay yourselves and keep the money in the kids' accounts. Mine certainly appreciated all the money they had saved up when they started at university and were travelling independently.

If you did that with money I'd given you, I would definitely cross you off my list. On the other hand, if I knew you were very hard up, I'd probably offer to pay for a day out for you anyway. Truly bad form.

AMouseLivedinaWindMill · 27/01/2016 19:48

I would be totally happy if I had given children money and their parents decided to use some of it - some of it on a children's activity!

I cant believe the vitriol on this thread.

I can only add to the chorus that rfc is probably shite but..

you would think your clearing out every single penny of their savings to take yourself to the ritz where they have to sit in silence of something.

expatinscotland · 27/01/2016 19:48

I've been to one in the US. It's alright, but the kids LOVED it. They were 7 and 4 then.

AMouseLivedinaWindMill · 27/01/2016 19:50

I am astounded by the control here once you hand something over its not yours to control anymore!

HermioneWeasley · 27/01/2016 19:51

I don't understand why spending your kids' money would make you less resentful of the prices?

What you've described is actually a pretty cheap day out - trains from Kent not expensive (and I assume kids are free), NHM free entry, hamleys they have vouchers for. So if you think they would enjoy RFC then pay it. If you can't afford it or don't think it's worth it, go somewhere else.

NHM is brilliant - I'd maximise my time there and have lunch there, then head straight to hamleys and back home.

ArcheryAnnie · 27/01/2016 19:56

If you give money to very small children, then you expect their parents to have a say in what happens to it, whether that's savings, toys or experiences.

FWIW I'd be totally happy with money I gave for a small child to be used by the mum in taking them somewhere nice. (If anything I'd prefer it to just buying more tat, but that would still not be up to me.)

LightDrizzle · 27/01/2016 19:59

Adults "get" spending money on experiences but I don't think young children do, particularly when they have eaten out with you habitually without paying for any of it. They prefer something more tangible.
I remember the rare joy of going to the shops with birthday/Christmas money or book tokens clutched in my hot little hands. I would subject my mum to an interminable wait while I chose somethings special enough to buy. She would guide me, but the thrilling thing was that ultimately I really was allowed to choose. My daughter found it just as exciting in her turn, and even if she chose to spend her money on her 24th hideous,bastard Pound Puppy, I'd grit my teeth and let her.
So much of children's lives is dictated by the (benign) choices of the adults who care for them that I think they particularly love this freedom.

AMouseLivedinaWindMill · 27/01/2016 20:02

(If anything I'd prefer it to just buying more tat, but that would still not be up to me.)

same here

clarkeologist · 27/01/2016 20:02

Ok. Jury is still well and truly out in our house on the Xmas money thing. We probably won't bother now though after all the RFC hating! I never expected haute cuisine or classy special effects. Just somewhere different to wow the tiddlers. They love eating out btw. Most people sound pretty unimpressed by RFC though so it must be more of a let down than I feared.

scarednoob · 27/01/2016 20:06

YANBU to spend their money on a treat that they will remember.

the rainforest cafe is a great novelty and I like that it supports charities - I don't mind paying more for that. But honestly, the food is pretty dire!

If your kids won't really notice and you think they'll love the decor, animatronics etc, go for it. Otherwise I would see if you could go for drinks (or ice cream?) and to choose a toy, but take them somewhere else nearby for food. Leicester square doesn't have anything that exciting but they are all solid chains. For example, there is a Muriel's Kitchen where kids eat free - then you wouldn't need to spend their money at all!

MistressMerryWeather · 27/01/2016 20:09

I just had a look at the website, DS1 would have loved that place when he was 6, definitely more than McDonalds.

DS2 is a toddler and I can imagine him having a great time looking at all those animals.

As you say it's something different and you know what your own children would enjoy.

Katenka · 27/01/2016 20:09

When you're not a parent, there are some areas of parenting you're not familiar with and it helps to know what the 'norm' is.

There is no norm. Dd gets vouchers because that what she asks for. We give her money.

What we do is different to others. You can't assume your kids will feel sad because others have something different.

That's called life

Arkwright · 27/01/2016 20:09

I wouldn't use it towards a meal but for the gift shop or another activity. If you want to eat there then you should pay not use money thry received as a gift.

Arkwright · 27/01/2016 20:09

I wouldn't use it towards a meal but for the gift shop or another activity. If you want to eat there then you should pay not use money thry received as a gift.

Katenka · 27/01/2016 20:10

Whoops wrong thread Blush

TenWineBottles · 27/01/2016 20:12

We do the same, they have far too many toys/games and we're planning on using some of the Christmas money they got from family on a day out to the zoo soon.

Katenka · 27/01/2016 20:13

This is what doesn't sit right with me

I want us to go and not wince at the prices

In reality what you are saying is 'it's too expensive so the kids can pay for theirs'

How is it a treat?

You know the prices so either go and don't wince or don't go.

Starbores · 27/01/2016 20:16

Katenka there's lots of things that children would enjoy that would make parents wince at the price, Alton towers or Lego land for example.

It seems rainforest cafe is more for the experience than the actual food to me so I don't see a problem in using some of the children's money for that, if it's an experience their parents know they will enjoy.

Cel982 · 27/01/2016 20:16

Good Lord. The sanctimony here is unbelievable. If I give a cash gift to a child I don't care if it's spent on Lego, or chocolate, or the next mortgage payment. It's none of my business. I trust the parents to spend it whatever way they decide is best.

They're three and six, they don't get any full control of financial decisions. They'll love the RFC, and the food is fine. Have a great day out.