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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I found this in my teenage boys coat today[blush]

275 replies

ruthie667 · 26/01/2016 23:50

Not sure whether to take this as a compliment and laugh it off ... or never let him have friends over again lol!!!

I found this in my teenage boys coat today[blush]
OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 27/01/2016 18:17

Just wondering- do people get some sort of kick out of missing the point?

Gruntfuttock · 27/01/2016 18:18

PollyPerky Surely Mrs H is the OP. I don't understand why it says Dad on the note.

Furiosa · 27/01/2016 18:22

Bertarand I'm not missing the point on purpose.

Like I said both sexes to this nonsense when young so why is it different when it's a girl!

Furiosa · 27/01/2016 18:25

Grunt I thought it said "Dadg". Goodness knows what that means.

PollyPerky · 27/01/2016 18:34

Grunt but why would a boy refer to his mum as 'Mrs'?

Sorry but I thought Mrs H was their teacher and some boy in class had passed this note to the OP's son.

Or her son had drawn it about his teacher.

Or it's about her (OP) and written by her son's mates.

Gruntfuttock · 27/01/2016 18:38

It was written by one of her son's friends. Why would the OP not be sure whether to take it as a compliment if it referred to a teacher?

PollyPerky · 27/01/2016 18:39

This has troll written all over it.

The poster hasn't come back after her first post (not that I can see) and why would she want to out herself- or her son's teacher?

Reporting.

Furiosa · 27/01/2016 18:45

Grunt as I understand it the OP's DS had this note written inside his coat by another boy but we'll probably never know for sure.

Ilovetorrentialrain · 27/01/2016 18:48

PollyPerky the OP has come back just with a name change.

OP I don't think it's too remarkable that a teenage lad has drawn a cock or even pulled a prank like this. Not shocked.

However, your reaction is what is very weird. Putting it on the Internet and wondering whether to be flattered. That's quite disturbing.

PurpleHairAndPearls · 27/01/2016 19:04

Well that's quite a drip feed Hmm as it was clearly intended for you to see it. Why have you posted I two different user names btw?

Nodowntime · 27/01/2016 19:57

It was a name change fail, fgs, it was discussed in the first posts on the page!

People said what if it was a note addressing a girl, how different(=awful and unacceptable) would it be? Why? As a teenage girl I got some notes with "compliments" like that, if it was from someone I didn't like, it was unwanted attention (ignored it), but if it was from someone I fancied myself it would have been flattering, what's wrong with that?Confused

PurpleHairAndPearls · 27/01/2016 20:02

You think someone saying "nice tits" unsolicited is a "flattering compliment"? You set the bar pretty low then. I'm sure there is plenty about you more worthy of complimenting, and I mean that seriously.

Nodowntime · 27/01/2016 20:05

Molyholy, it's not the same scenario, the boy didn't write about her fanjo, did he, it would have read differently.

Girls do write notes with sexual content to older men, esp. if they never mean to send them, like has been said on this thread.

Nodowntime · 27/01/2016 20:12

I put "compliment" in inverted commas because it's obviously not from an adults' point of view, but coming at a teenage girl from someone she fancies, it is/was. Not literally those words, it's pretty crude maybe, I meant approval of your physique in whatever awkward teenage speak it was done.

Ok, purplehair, would you be offended if your husband said 'nice tits' to you?

Theladyloriana · 27/01/2016 20:15

Seriously?

If I found a note like this I would he having a sharp word about sexual harassment to both my son and his friend.

Blush? Pass me the sick bucket, if indeed this is not a Biscuit

Theladyloriana · 27/01/2016 20:17

'Nice tits' never has been and never will be a welcome compliment. How low does the bar have to go people before you begin to realise your self esteem is the problem.

PurpleHairAndPearls · 27/01/2016 20:22

I can't imagine DH saying "nice tits" tbh. He would probably say something like "you look nice" or "I like that bra" Grin It's not the same anyway as he is my DH but he wouldn't say it to someone regardless. He is aware as - as he is a mature adult - that unsolicited comments solely on female anatomy from men (that they aren't in a relationship with) are demeaning and objectifying rather than flattering. And a teenager saying it needs to be educated precisely so they don't do it as an adult. Is it that hard to understand the concept of respect?

DioneTheDiabolist · 27/01/2016 20:26

Not a bad teenage prank OP. I would keep it and use it to make your DS's friends squirm.Grin

Nodowntime · 27/01/2016 20:27

Ok, first I'll explain for those who are not aware that putting a word in inverted commas gives it sarcastic meaning.

Second tell me everyone who is horrified by those words whether you would be offended by your partner saying 'nice tits' to you (say, on seeing you naked).

I presume everyone upset would take offence at builders' wolf whistling as well?

Oh how I wish India Knight came on this thread.

Furiosa · 27/01/2016 20:28

'Nice tits' never has been and never will be a welcome compliment. How low does the bar have to go people before you begin to realise your self esteem is the problem

Are women the problem then?

PurpleHairAndPearls · 27/01/2016 20:33

I think builders or any men wolf whistling are entitled misogynistic knobs, yes.

Do men really say "nice tits" to their partners? Who are these men, Phil Mitchell? And with your explanation of quotation marks, are these men being sarcastic anyway?

Nodowntime · 27/01/2016 20:42

The word compliment as addressed to a teenage girl from teenage boys was sarcastic, yes.

Saying things like tits and other body parts - mostly in a sexual situation, there's a dirty talking phenomenon taking place in sexual relationships ;). Nice tits is pretty lame actually within that phenomenon.

Outside sex my DH definitely says things like 'nice legs' etc to me(quoting him now, which should be obvious but I'll explain to preempt any enquiries)

Meeep · 27/01/2016 20:47
  1. I would find this creepy and icky. I don't want to picture a boy half my age wanking over the thought of my tits. Boak.
  2. I would worry it was part of picking on my son somehow, talking about me as a joke to try to irritate him.
Terrifiedandregretful · 27/01/2016 20:54

I agree this smacks of bullying to me. Why would the 'friend' do it if not to humiliate op's son?

I have just told dp about this thread and he was as horrified as me and said he'd be straight down to the school to find out who it was and have them disciplined. It's being cruel to the op's son and deeply disrespectful to the op. I have taught in a boys' school so I am very familiar with what teenage boys are like and not naive. If this happened in my school I would take it very seriously.

MummaB123 · 27/01/2016 20:54

Laughing so much at this!!! But pretty embarrassing too! I would never EVER mention this to my son!