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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Middling DD, private at Y5, and disposable income

123 replies

Arrowedheart · 26/01/2016 21:48

DD is in an outstanding primary but is being kept as middle of the road in terms of sets - 'middle' tables get the same work whether in set 1 or 2) I've asked for the last couple of years how she can progress but have been told that's how it is.

I'm under no illusions that she may not be very academic naturally and that's fine. However I do feel that if there is no scope to move between sets, it is restrictive. There are 2 year 4 classes and no one has been moved up or down as far as I know.

I am considering moving her to a private school for Y5. We have visited and know ex pupils. She is an only child so no other kids to worry about. We have good salaries but a high mortgage. We would have about £1.2k left a month for food, going out, clothes, etc.

Shoot me down or let me know your experiences please

OP posts:

CaptainCrunch · 26/01/2016 22:04

Waste of money.

brummiesue · 26/01/2016 22:04

I wouldn't think twice

namechangedtoday15 · 26/01/2016 22:09

What happens for secondary school? Are you in a selective area? Can she stay at private school you're considering or would she change again?

ImperialBlether · 26/01/2016 22:11

I wouldn't pay for a private school, though I'd move house to an area with better schools.

seasidesally · 26/01/2016 22:13

£1.2k is loads to have left but have you made provision for all the extras that you will incur if going private

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 26/01/2016 22:13

What are your long term plans for her education? If you are planning private for secondary then I would start saving now, leave her where she is and pay for some tutoring instead. Senior schools generally cost more than Preps.

If there is a good state secondary then a move might be good for her.

Original poster

Arrowedheart · 26/01/2016 22:15

It is a school that goes from 4-18 so we would keep her there, unless we lose our jobs (unlikely but possible as with most people)

OP posts:

Original poster

Arrowedheart · 26/01/2016 22:16

There are good / outstanding secondaries in catchment but it went to one of those and would t wish it on my worst enemy

OP posts:

LaurieFairyCake · 26/01/2016 22:17

She is progressing according to expected though right?

Original poster

Arrowedheart · 26/01/2016 22:17

*I not it. Typing too fast sorry

OP posts:

ImperialBlether · 26/01/2016 22:17

Don't the fees go up drastically in the senior school?

CaptainCrunch · 26/01/2016 22:18

Your last post makes no sense.

Original poster

Arrowedheart · 26/01/2016 22:21

For clarity. There are good and outstanding secondary schools in our area. I went to one of those, and wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

OP posts:

bedraggledmumoftwo · 26/01/2016 22:23

I think you need to be clearer with what that disposable income covers. Have you taken your net salaries less mortgage and utilities/ council tax and subtracted school fees to get the 1200. Or would any household bills have to come out of it? Holidays? Car not/service/ insurance/ repairs etc? House repairs?

And is that just covering the published fees, which would be likely to rise year on year, with higher extra curricular costs and uniforms etc.

If the question is whether you should consider going private with that level of income I think you need to give more detail. It's a long term commitment though and my instinct would be not in your circumstances

CaptainCrunch · 26/01/2016 22:26

Your experience isn't your dd's though and there's a generation difference in staff and education policy. Stop projecting your experience onto her.

She could have an equally awful experience at private school but you've been daft enough to pay through the nose for it

annandale · 26/01/2016 22:27

I think £1.2K is plenty but only you know how much your lives would change - clearly there would be some change or you wouldn't be asking.

Is your partner on board, reluctant, eager? I think you need to completely agree, and that includes discussing all the extras as a PP said, plus getting into the nitty gritty of what the changes will be and what you will prioritise, especially when the fees jump at senior school.

bedraggledmumoftwo · 26/01/2016 22:28

To clarify I don't have kids in private myself but will consider it when the time comes if finances allow, but I think the cushion would need to be greater than that. What if you suddenly needed a new roof or got made redundant, suffered ill health. I know some are saying 1200 is a lot, but it depends what it has to cover

Original poster

Arrowedheart · 26/01/2016 22:28

Bedraggled. The money ive mentioned is for food, going out, clothes and bits and pieces like sweets and icecream. I've accounted for all bills, petrol, hols, presents etc.

OP posts:

annandale · 26/01/2016 22:29

Have you accounted for extra childcare costs for longer holidays? Maybe balanced against fewer childcare costs after school?

bedraggledmumoftwo · 26/01/2016 22:33

OK, so that's good, I would just be concerned that a school fee rise or an unexpected domestic emergency would leave you feeling the pinch. And if you're signing up to it for the next 9 years you would need to be happy you could keep it up in the long term even if fees rose in secondary

Original poster

Arrowedheart · 26/01/2016 22:33

We have childcare included in costs as well as private health cover, life and home insurance. My mother will help with extras for the next few years and I am due a promotion before then all being well. If one or both of us got the sack we would be up shit creek after about 6 months though

OP posts:

grumpysquash2 · 26/01/2016 22:38

What would be your main reason for moving her?

If she is in the middle set of an outstanding school, she is almost certainly doing fine. Would there be any point in moving her to a less academic school so that she can be in the top group?

On the other hand, if an independent education can give her something extra that her current school doesn't/won't supply, and you want her to have it, then why not?

It's a difficult choice though. I was put into an academic independent and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy either. But all schools and all children are different.....

bedraggledmumoftwo · 26/01/2016 22:40

I guess the question then is what you would spend the money on if you didn't send her. Bearing in mind we could be talking about a cumulative bill of £200k depending on fees! Would you be better off investing in a tutor or extra curricular activities or having money to fund her through uni or for a house deposit? Or just the ability to retire early or move to a bigger house. In ten years time if she has gone private but has not proven to academically shine is there a chance you will regret/resent it?

BeaufortBelle · 26/01/2016 22:42

Don't mean to be rude, but how much is your house worth and could you downsize if shit happens because there's no going back once you've moved her to private, Imo.

I don't think £1200 is that much tbh but it's doable.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 26/01/2016 22:43

If you are thinking of moving her in Sept then I would try putting the monthly fee amount aside and living off what is left. If you can do it without unacceptable compromises then you know it is financially viable and starting now will allow you to build up a bit of a school fees fund just in case there is a problem further down the line.

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