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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to judge people on their teeth?

390 replies

MercedesDR · 25/01/2016 09:14

Met a guy on Saturday night who just called me. I refused a date because he has a couple of missing teeth. Okay so maybe I'm shallow but it matters to me.

Why do people kid themselvesi that if teeth are gone at the back it doesn't notice? It does and it makes me cringe. So do rotting, or neglected teeth.

If you want to date, sort it out. Take out a loan if you have to!

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 25/01/2016 11:03

Why did you give him your number MercedesDR?

Original poster
MercedesDR · 25/01/2016 11:03

@ Griphook

It is a mumsnet thing. If people don't agree with an OP, they make patronising comments about spelling and grammar.

OP posts:
MrsJayy · 25/01/2016 11:04

You are assuming people dont go to the dentist though I go to the denist for check ups and treatment they still look awful though just a fixed awful

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 25/01/2016 11:04

Polly

I'd not judge anyone on missing teeth unless it was part of an overall poor standard of personal hygiene and they couldn't be bothered as an adult to try to improve on previous bad dental care.

But you know that's judging someone, right? Which is totally fine, but at least admit you're judging them.

Original poster
MercedesDR · 25/01/2016 11:05

@ Sparklingbrook

I was out with a group. He was a friend of a friend. He asked me for my number in front of a few other people, and it was impossible to refuse.

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 25/01/2016 11:07

No need for the @ Grin

You could have refused, or you could have taken his instead.

CheersMedea · 25/01/2016 11:08

Missing teeth aren't attractive - so it's not unreasonable to find it a bit of a turn off.

It is unreasonable to judge someone though as there maybe all kinds of reasons why they haven't done something about it - they may not care, can't afford it or like untilthecows have a fear of dentists. (Untilthecows - have you thought about having a plate with a single false tooth made for you? wouldn't hurt).

However, I think it is generally true that a lot of people would judge someone with missing teeth on a socio-economic basis - because dental treatment costs money and there is virtually no NHS dental treatment, missing teeth have become associated with poorer people. Clean white super-smiles are associated with celebrities and wealth. Unfortunate association but there it is.

itsbetterthanabox · 25/01/2016 11:09

I don't care about crooked, or wonky teeth at all but I do think a lot of people do not have good enough oral hygiene.
A 30 second clean with a manual brush twice a day is not enough.
We should all be using electric toothbrushes for the full 2 mins twice a day and flossing regularly.
Most people have bad breath which I find hard to deal with.
I'm aware dentistry is expensive so understand not everyone can have cosmetic things fixed easily and those things don't matter. Just keep them clean and get cavities filled!

murphys · 25/01/2016 11:11

Was he wearing designer clothes and sporting an expensive haircut OP? I am going to assume that he was, hence you giving him your phone number. It wasn't until he yawned or if you could you explain how even better you got a look right into the back of his mouth to find two missing teeth back there...

thisproofseverything · 25/01/2016 11:12

Hopefully, when you do find someone that meets your standards, that person will have equally high standards for you.

And when you're waiting for a phone call after deciding he's everything you could ever want, topped off with perfect teeth, he decides not to call you because your eyebrows are a bit wonky. Or your breath doesn't smell right. Or you don't have good enough muscle tone. Or maybe he just thinks you're a bit of a twat.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 25/01/2016 11:12

I think he's had a very fortunate escape.
If you're that concerned about other people's teeth. You take out a loan for them.

MrsJayy · 25/01/2016 11:13

Electric tooth brushes make my nerves tingle i hate them

CozyLinusBlanket · 25/01/2016 11:14

If you're that concerned about other people's teeth. You take out a loan for them.

Or alternatively, you are allowed to choose not to snog them!

Original poster
MercedesDR · 25/01/2016 11:14

I've just had a thought. I'll text him the phone number of my dentist and suggest he gives the surgery a call.

Or should I say telephone number? ;0)

OP posts:
CrystalMcPistol · 25/01/2016 11:14

I agree shutupandshop, nice natural teeth look so much better. It completely alters a person's face when they have their own teeth taken out and those big white tombstones put in instead. That woman in Towie has to be the worst example.

It reminds me of ye olden days when someone would have all their teeth taken out on their 21st birthday as a treat (!) and start wearing dentures instead in order to avoid the upkeep of real teeth.

Oswin · 25/01/2016 11:15

Cozy and Mercedes you are both living in la la land. It's not about priorities, generally most people can't afford to even think about new teeth.
For most people it's rent food utility's, council tax. Then start thinking about keeping yourself clothed.

CozyLinusBlanket · 25/01/2016 11:15

Some of you seem to be blissfully unaware that you sound far more vicious and unpleasant that the OP...

CozyLinusBlanket · 25/01/2016 11:15

*than

Sparklingbrook · 25/01/2016 11:16

How did the phone call go? 'No I don't want a date because you have manky teeth'?

If he is 'a friend of a friend' how will you explain it to the friend?

shoeaddict83 · 25/01/2016 11:17

I have my priorities right. A couple of visits to the dentist a year, cost no more than a few nights out.

but as many have pointed out - normal check ups for £18 or whatever it is on the NHS now DONT help with discoloured/wonky/missing teeth! Just because he is missing teeth at the back does NOT mean he isnt going for his 6 monthly check-ups! Stop judging!!!!

If you think spending hundreds or possibly thousands at a dentist to get teeth fixed equates to 'a couple of nights out' then clearly you have very high-end expensive nights out compared to most of us!

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 25/01/2016 11:17

Some poor people just about have the bus fare to work. Let alone 1,000 a pop to get their teeth fixed.

thehillshaveyes · 25/01/2016 11:17

I don't think yabu. Teeth are very important and I don't like to see neglected teeth. My teeth are not straight by any means (I have an overbite) but they are clean, white and healthy.

SurferJet · 25/01/2016 11:17

You could look like Shreks ugly sister on here & you'd still be fanciable. ( as long as your grammar is good & you're a nice person )

Sparklingbrook · 25/01/2016 11:19

That's a strange comment SurferJet.

CheersMedea · 25/01/2016 11:22

He asked me for my number in front of a few other people, and it was impossible to refuse.

Confused

How is this impossible to refuse?!?!

  • "sorry I have a bf/I've just started seeing someone and I don't think he'd like it"

  • "Sorry but I don't give my number out to people I've just met for personal reasons. I've had trouble in the past"

  • pretend you didn't hear and exit sharply to the loo or bar
  • fob off til later and then exit sharply to the loo (you can do this in a light hearted flirty way). "maybe later if you are a good boy".

and that's just off the top of my head. You could also just be blunt and say "sorry but I don't think that's a good idea".