AIBU to judge people on their teeth?

[MercedesDR]

Met a guy on Saturday night who just called me. I refused a date because he has a couple of missing teeth. Okay so maybe I'm shallow but it matters to me.

Why do people kid themselvesi that if teeth are gone at the back it doesn't notice? It does and it makes me cringe. So do rotting, or neglected teeth.

If you want to date, sort it out. Take out a loan if you have to!

I've got great teeth but I'm a total bastard.

Ok the OP is a bit but the replies aren't much better. The spelling ones are particularly . It's a bit pathetic.

Anyway back to the OP. I think it's daft to judge people for missing teeth but I admit that I'd 'judge' someone if they had loads of plaque on their teeth and clearly didn't brush them. Nice teeth are really attractive but some people like me weren't taken to the dentists as kids and were allowed to eat sweets all the time. My teeth 'look' ok now but it's taken thousands of pounds.

YABU. I'd rather be judged for my less-than-perfect teeth than be a nasty, judgmental person.

It depends. I personally don't care what my partners teeth look like if they have good oral hygiene ,bad hygiene is a massive turn off for me. You can't really tell just by looking at someone's teeth how often they clean them or how often they visit the Dentist. My partner cleans his teeth once a day and only started visiting the Dentist again after a 10 year gap and his teeth look perfect ,perfectly straight and a good colour. He's only got surface fillings as well. Then you've got me ,clean my teeth twice a day ,floss and waterfloss and my teeth are a state ! One crown ,one deep filling, 2 missing teeth at back (luckily I can afford to have them replaced with implants ) and a baby tooth so my smile looks all crooked Luckily my front teeth look OK so as longs I don't do too wide a smile I'm good
I'm not shallow ,but I think a missing tooth might be slightly off putting if at the front BUT I know if they're a decent person then I'll look past it

I've just started going to a dentist again after a break of many, many years. It took me a long time to work up to going to see some one, as I have a real phobia of dentists. It's really harsh to judge someone for something that they may not be able to deal with

You are an awful person. Can you get a loan to fix that?

untilthecows I'm sorry to hear that, what an awful experience for you.

Well, you're allowed not to find certain things attractive, but I think the 'get a loan' thing is U, and you know it.

Why did you give him your number if his teeth were not up to your exacting requirements?

I don't think you should be asking whether you're being unreasonable for judging people on their teeth.

I think you should be asking yourself why you judge them.

Does it make you feel superior?

Does it make you feel better about yourself because you feel you're 'lacking' in other areas?

Have a think about it and maybe concentrate on whatever answer you come up with, rather than other people's teeth.

And you're single? Shocker.

I've got crooked front tooth due to a massive fear of going to the dentist. This meant that as a teenager I didn't have a brace. As an adult I can't afford a brace and now I'm stuck with these teeth. No one is perfect but surely it's sometimes about what's under the exterior that counts? I can understand some things like dirty teeth etc Last ex had beautiful teeth but he never brushed and had dogs breath - looks can sometimes deceive.

How can you see that his back teeth are missing anyway.....?

You must have had a damn good look to have noticed all the way back there in his mouth....

Are you American?

I meant the enamel on my dds teeth didn't form not plaque! Need another cup of tea!

Hi Exasperated!
I had what sounds like the same problem as your DD when my adult teeth came in.

I had treatment on the NHS where they scaled back my teeth and pretty much bleached them and used light therapy stuff. It didn't hurt, it was just surreal and I was sent to a specialist in london.

Then I knocked my two front top teeth and broke them.
So I have composites on them now.

When I got married I had a "perfect" smile. (The smile and colour I wanted anyway)

Colouration is fixable. I was "teased" for having a smoker's teeth at school but it passed.

I'm with murphys, how would you even notice someone's back teeth were missing?

Unless they are the type who laugh loudly with their mouths flung open like a hippo. But that's offputting even with a mouthful of perfect looking teeth.

Missing teeth don't make you a scummy, unhygienic loser. My husband has a missing tooth through no fault of his own and it doesn't change how I feel about him. He had a large filing as a child when there was less fluoride knocking around and the filing failed once too often taking more tooth with it. The dentist recommended just removing it and that's what he did.

You sound very shallow op, but I guess you know that already.

filling not filing

Of course, you are NOT BU!

Who goes on dates with someone they don't fancy?

You want to date someone you are attracted to, and a missing tooth put you off. Well, it would put me off too. I wouldn't date someone who can't afford to have a healthy appearance anyway. Of course, you can call me shallow, but I don't care. I worked damn hard to have a decent lifestyle, I don't expect anyone to pay my way, but I would only be with someone who can keep up with my lifestyle.

It works for me, and I am very happily married because I refused to compromise. (and so did he!).

I get turned off by bad teeth - I don't judge the person, who knows what their life or their genetics are like? but I'm not attracted to them. Attraction is partly based on unconscious decisions as regarding who would be best to have children with, and someone with a mouth of bad teeth might look like genetically bad material.

Besides, I have no desire to put my mouth anywhere near a mouth with mossy or brown or missing teeth. Just... ick. I don't have to though. So date-wise, I'm with you OP but having bad teeth doesn't actually show anything about anyone except that they have bad teeth. They may have issues as regards dentists, they may have a genetic disposition to bad teeth, they may have had trauma etc... you can't judge a person on their teeth but you are perfectly reasonable to turn down a date with someone you are not attracted to regardless of the reason they are unattractive to you.

I've got a fair few missing teeth due to a longstanding eating disorder. People like you really help. Go judge elsewhere.

I've got a bit of a thing about teeth. We all have things which we find attractive or unattractive in people and I'm afraid that I do find bad and missing teeth a turn off. I understand people can't always fix them or aren't bothered about it but it does put me off.

I had a driving instructor with atrocious dental hygiene. Two hours in a car with this person was torture. I changed instructor, and explained why to the driving school. Don't know if they told him the reason.

There's no excuse for not owning and using a toothbrush. Clean, but unsightly teeth are unfortunate, and expensive to fix.

Spacedinosaur that's great to hear. Tbh the dentists hasn't been helpful at all. I questioned him and he said yes the enamel hasn't formed properly. So shel be really probe to decay, accesses and possibly lose them. I asked what the plan is then to fix them and he just mumbled about waiting till they were all in and possibly crowns in the future althiugh that doesn't always work out. That was it. I'm beyond disappointed. Gutted for her. Then her brother got in the chair and was told his teeth are perfect and my eldest who now has all her big teeth was told they are perfectly straight, great condition, ni problems. Feel so sorry for her. Then you get people like the op admitting to judge others because of their teeth.

I've just got a quote from outside the UK, I've got two treatment options, Inplants or a Bridge. Wearing Dentures, physically bothers me.

It's the only way that I can afford to have a smile that I'm not ashamed of, because of judgement.

Mine have been a combination of a neglected childhood and ill health.

If I can I leave my dentures out, they fit well, but I don't enjoy eating etc with them.

I was just going to start a thread whether I'm right to look outside the UK, my family are making noises.

I'm lucky in that I've had a small inheritance, through.

I totally agree that he's had a lucky escape and I hope this thread isn't real.