AIBU to judge people on their teeth?

[MercedesDR]

Met a guy on Saturday night who just called me. I refused a date because he has a couple of missing teeth. Okay so maybe I'm shallow but it matters to me.

Why do people kid themselvesi that if teeth are gone at the back it doesn't notice? It does and it makes me cringe. So do rotting, or neglected teeth.

If you want to date, sort it out. Take out a loan if you have to!

You are an awful person. Can you get a loan to fix that?

brilliant.

Sorry just to add was their a particular name for the person who sorted yours, wss it an orthodontist? I may ask to be referred.

My teeth are perfect. I paid £2.5 k for orthodontics 10 years ago and I have them bleached regularly. I didn't realise that also made me a better person, I thought it just made me vain

Oh this is a nasty thread. Obviously the OP missed the bit in infant school where they explain about not judging people by their appearance.

It's actually a good way to live. It works.

Judge people on how they behave. That's the only thing that really matters.

At first this thread made me a bit sad because I worry sometimes people judge me based on my teeth. But some of the negative replies on here have made me feel a lot better! If such horrid judgemental people avoid me because my teeth are wonky then they are a blessing in disguise

this has really pissed me off!

Yes YABVU!

When i was a kid i was treated by a doctor for some illness and given a drug (Tetracycline) that should not have been administered to under 12s. My parents didnt know that at the time, the result - it stained my front adult teeth brown and yellow. When we realised what had happened after my mum trained as a nurse years later, my parents tried to sue the doctor to pay for my teeth to be fixed,only to find out that my notes during that year of my life had mysteriously disappeared so there was no record of me being given that medication.

I had to endure years of people commenting, i even used to volunteer in a charity shop on sat mornings when i was 13/14 and had a few random people advise me i should 'stop smoking so much' at my age as it was staining my teeth - for someone who was very anti-smoking and young those comments were extremely hurtful and knocked my confidence hugely, often sending me to tears.

Luckily my parents ended up saving and paying to allow to get veneers on my front teeth as my mum blamed herself for it (despite me constantly telling her not to) and they both said it upset them that i never smiled showing my teeth in photos. HOWEVER i was VERY lucky they did this, i would never have afforded it myself as it was in the thousands just for 4 teeth, i had to live for 31 years with the comments through no fault of my own.

Sorry for the long post but just trying to show you it may not be his fault, people have personal circumstances leading to bad teeth and unfortunately not everyone lives in an ivory tower like you clearly do with access to thousands of pounds, loans etc to sort it. In my case i was very fortunate but without my parents id still have bad teeth.

Perhaps take your head out your arse and be a bit less judgemental to people OP.

Not sure I'd care about back teeth, but I agree if your front teeth are missing/ discoloured/ it is a major turn off.
Kissing is so erotic & sensual that you really need to have a fairly decent set of teeth to pull it off - I don't think it's shallow to not want to kiss someone with teeth like Shane Macgowan - well I wouldn't kiss him anyway.

I agree that you should date who you fancy, I've got a 'type', but the OPs insistance that you get into debt to 'fix' a part of your body, that isn't bothering you, can't be condoned.

Like DawnDonna I'm missing one due to a long term ED. Luckily my DH has a little more depth than OP.

Also my DD is missing one after she knocked it out at age 2. People always stop me to tell me how beautiful she is, so luckily it seems the majority of the world can also see past such a terrible aesthetic flaw.

Sounds like this guy had a lucky escape!

Oh how nice and shallow you are!
My mantra is
Do not judge others unless you are perfect yourself
Clearly you are not perfect

My teeth look amazing because they're straight and white, but I've lots of fillings and the dentist keeps admonishing me for not flossing and for drinking too much juice.

I care about good dental hygiene and wouldn't date anyone with dirty teeth or bad breath. I also would find a missing front tooth offputting in an adult but I wouldn't judge anyone for it. And I'm sure I'd get past it if I really liked the person.

This is probably why you are dating
Who would want to be with you!

I've got terrible nashers. Inherited them from my father. Have spent thousands over the years maintaining them and still have ended up with a plate. OP, you're a nasty, shallow twat.

Wow, aren't you a peach.
My DH has a missing adult tooth that just never came through. Apparently it's a hereditary thing, his gran had the same and her tooth eventually erupted when she was 90.
Glad they didn't have to come across a cunt person like yourself.

I have horrible teeth years of illness vomiting and medicine that was packed full of sugar ruined them i have a side gap that i have dentures for i cant afford 100s of £ on veneers or implants yabu and bloody shallow to worry about a gap in a potentially nice mans teeth

YANBU BUT
It depends though on where the teeth are.
If they were back or side teeth, that's more okay.
If they were front teeth and he has clearly neglected his personal hygiene and caring for his teeth then that would matter to me. Just like BO or dirty clothes.

The NHS provides almost free dental care and any teeth missing from the front would be sorted either with a false one or crowns etc.

BTW you need to brush up your grammar. You shouldn't say 'it doesn't notice' you mean 'it isn't noticeable'.

I have crooked teeth and two missing. They are clean and quite white too (love my hygienist). I dated with no problem in fact my last date is marrying me in May despite my shit teeth. I'm so grateful.

I hope he meets someone nice.

It was the NHS that pulled mine out Polly. Back in the 70s they were paid by extraction, my very small mouth is over crowded and my lack of childhood dental hygiene didn't help... (DM thought having fillings would teach me to brush my teeth, well she was right in a way, but I can't help thinking another method may have been less permanent).

So I have 7 small gaps in my back teeth. None big enough for an implant, unless I commit to a year in a brace to stretch the gaps and move the teeth. Given they're all filled to fuck I suspect they'd crumble anyway if I did that.

shoe I have yellow and brown marks too (although I've now covered them with veneers). I wonder if it was the same cause?

Its not almost free i was £200+ for treatment recently because i had teeth crumbling hardly almost free

Lonny I am sure you could be sorted if you wanted to be with a brace.
I am only too aware of bad dentistry- I am a child of the 50s and 60s. My own teeth aren't straight but they are clean and white.

I'd not judge anyone on missing teeth unless it was part of an overall poor standard of personal hygiene and they couldn't be bothered as an adult to try to improve on previous bad dental care.

Don't date the man if he repulsed you but don't judge him either. Don't make people feel bad for something that's likely to be out of their control.

My dad was raised in a very poor household during rationing with far too many siblings for his parents to be able to care for. He now single handedly keeps the village dentist in a job . He is also a wonderful, caring, empathetic, intelligent, funny individual. Against all the odds, he took himself off to university, has worked hard to provide a far better life for his own family and still is a committed and hands-on family man. But yeah, judge him on his shit teeth because that's what matters!!

This thread is hilarious

OP it's awful that you had such a terrible date, how dare someone with missing teeth think that they're even in the same league as you! . Take the advice of some of the posts on here, my particular favourite was the one suggesting missing teeth indicates bad genetics. Obviously if he has missing teeth his children will also have no teeth, and possibly a lizard tongue, and furry paws.

Now back to reality. OP, I'm genuinely worried that with an attitude like that you are going to end up as one of those people who desperately wanted a partner but stayed single and miserable because they were too judgemental to see past certain things. Missing back teeth don't matter! It's so shallow to think in the way that you do.

You need to grow up, and I'd leave the dating for now. It sounds like no one is ever going to be good enough, let them go on dates with people who actually want to know them for them and not their teeth.