...to ask those that had an 'easy' and 'amazing' birth how the hell they managed it?

[stumblymonkey]

Hi,

I'm shamelessly posting here for traffic.

I hear these stories of women who have had 'easy' births or 'amazing' birth experiences.

Are they urban myths? Or reserved for child #16 when your vagina is stretched to water slide proportions?

Did anyone have a great birthing experience with DC1 and if so.....what do you think you did, if anything, that I could steal?

Definitely luck. I slept through my labour with ds2. They woke me up at six to start pushing. I had him at 6.15, no stitches, no tears. Was home by 2.30. I honestly don't know how I did it and it wasn't drugs.

I've had a long, arduous, painful, hellish labour (50h) althogu5it was a natural delivery in the end without a tear or graze. Much to the amazement of the mw's and Dr who told me I'd be begging him for an epidural I didn't but I did have diamorphine

I've also had a quick, 100% natural, simple birth (4h but just 50m from arrival in birthing centre) which was a whole other world of pain.. my first labour was very controlled (I was on a drip, baby was being monitored, I was led by the mw and dr) but my second labour was out of this world in terms of speed, pain and general lack of control. Every contraction was so primal and every push so uncontrollable. Thankfully I managed it with no tears or grazes and the mw didn't have to do much!!

My shorter labour was preferable in almost every way. Except when I was there going through it.

I don't think there's anything you can do tbh, you just get what you're given imo.

I am one of those easy ones.
I really did not think the pain was too bad and was very quick with all 3 of ours.

Ds1 2 hours, ds2 was 90 min and dd was 30 mins.
This was from waters breaking to giving birth, just made it to hospital all 3 times.

I think it's partly luck and partly the help you have in hospital; with DS1 I had a dreadful labour and tore badly as nobody was there to perform an episiotomy and he'd turned back to back and got stuck. The recovery period with his was far longer because they realised a few hours later I was haemorrhaging and it all went a little Casualty-style-dramatic, which was the very last type of labour I'd hoped for.

DS2 was a wonderful labour; I spent a few hours playing in the bath in my room and only got out when the Midwife insisted it really was time and an hour of pushing (again, back to back, my DCs love to be difficult) and out he came. I had a small episiotomy but was home by 8pm eating chips on the sofa while he fed.

Just like the DCs themselves, no two labours are alike. Go into it knowing it'll hurt like hell but that every second of pain takes you closer to the end goal, and don't dwell too hard on the plans you've made; if intervention is needed it's no failure on your part. I have a few friends who were definite they didn't want a certain type of labour and spent time postpartum almost feeling guilty that they'd not lived up to their own expectations. Try very hard not to do that to yourself.

Luck

Aged 34 first baby. 3 weeks before due date my waters broke, then one contraction and I was 7cm dilated. 5 hours start to finish. My mother was convinced I had been having babies since my teens. My DD was on the small side (6lbs) which helped I think.

My births were not easy, both were amazing.

I think it's down to a positive outlook and luck.

Luck that every stage happens as it should, dilation ect, and that you keep calm.

A lot of my friends who have had bad experiences usually relate to the baby getting stuck, or coming out in an unusual position and what can you do to prepare for that?!

In MIL's case it was 'a body made for having children' apparently. Plus the fact that the doctor got competitive with the midwives and made things as calm as possible ( she didn't need a doctor but her DF was a doctor at the same hospital so insisted one of his mates look after her).
The 3 pints she had the night she gave birth to DH might have helped too!

I had good experiences. I agree with people saying much of it is down to luck BUT I am sure things would have been more difficult for me if I hadn't educated myself about pain relief options, interventions, how to manage my breathing etc etc. I felt as prepared as you can be and confident I understood what different options meant for me.

Of course, I know many women who prepared in just the same way I did and didn't have good experiences, but just because hypnobirthing, yoga etc isn't a guarantee of a straightforward birth, you never know what benefits you might get.

I know there is a line of thought that says you may as well not raise women's expectations of a straightforward vaginal birth but frankly I know few women who set their hearts on one particular type of birth - most women understand the element of luck perfectly well.

I think women should know that evidence shows that they are more likely to actually use their own coping stategies (eg changing positions and movement) if they have practised them before birth.

Complete luck IMO.

I could have had all the positive outlooks etc on this planet but it wouldn't have made a difference when I developed severe pre-eclampsia while being induced and needed emergency treatment to save mine and my DS's life. I was lucky and avoided an EMCS but I couldn't breathe through the pain of contractions after having my water broken and on the syntocin drip - it was just too painful.

It's good to have an idea of what you expect and how you will deal with labour but sometimes the unexpected happens and you have to just go with it.

I was actually told by my obstetrician (in the USA) that I had a narrow pelvic opening and I might have to get into some particular positions during labour to get baby out. So obviously I was very worried beforehand!

However my birth was wonderful. My waters went at 37 weeks exactly, I was induced as contractions didn't start. Really intense labour on a birth ball from 7pm to 10pm ish, I honestly think sitting on the ball so that gravity and moving my hips in circular motions (while DH massaged my lower back/hips with his fists which was amazing for the pain) got baby into an excellent position. Because I was on the drip pain got SO intense (contractions every 30 secs) so I had an epidural at 4cm dilated. Then had a 20 minute nap, my OB popped in just to have a look and she laughed and said, errr, Well I can see your baby has blonde hair! I laughed too and baby half popped out! Then one push and she was here!

So birth ball/DH massage and don't be afraid of an epidural if you need it. I was not in the slightest but 'traumatised' afterwards! Was amazing.

Both of my births has been amazing in different ways.

My first, home water birth using hypnobirthing, it was quiet and calm. No interference from mw, just quiet support. I didn't feel any pain at any point in labour or delivery, just being checked for tears was sore.

My second was intense,again at home. My waters broke, baby arrived an hour later. Didn't get into the hypno but wasn't at all painful.

I think birth can be too medicalised and this slows it and takes away the instinctiveness of birth. Things like VE's don't allow you to just focus on your body.

Your body should instintively know when to push the baby out, without someone telling you to pish. Have a look at fetal ejection

push

Thanks all for the responses...it's been so interesting to read all of your different birth stories...

There are a few common comments about relaxation techniques/mindset, TENs, staying at home as long as possible and water births.

Mainly seems to be luck though!

Dd1 I wanted a water birth but went into panic mode a bit when labour kicked in and my birth plan went out the window. I did end up with a very good first birth only being 5 hours, no stitches and pretty easy but I did ask for diamorphene, in the worry that the pain would get much worse and immediately wished I hadn't.

Ds was my second birth and I followed my birth plan to the letter, had a very active start, kept moving and had a water birth. Established labour was a little over an hour with no stitches and I delivered him myself which was lovely.

Comparatively I had what people would describe as an easy birth. Hind waters broke at 4pm. Went to hospital at 5pm. Was examined and was 7cm. Got into pool and ds was born at 7.45pm after about 20mins of pushing. No tears etc. Tbh think it was just pure luck

Luck!
3 all natural deliveries. First one was a waterbirth and that really helped the pain. I didn't make it in time to fill the bath for child 2, and they refused to believe I was delivering 3 until my waters gushed all over the bed. Keep hold of your gas until you deliver the placenta though - I found that bit worse than the head coming through!

I think the size of the baby makes a huge difference.

I have 5 dc,I wouldn't say I have easy births but my favourite birth was dd1 (third birth) it was a VBAC, dd was back to back, I was monitored throughout,had an epidural before being given prostaglandin so lots of intervention. It was my favourite though because I had no pain throughout,the midwife was lovely and dd delivered in three pushes.
My least favourite was an ELCS purely because I hated the slow recovery.

Home births with really good midwives and a solid plan B. For me the really good midwives bit was key. Didn't have text book births (I have a problem with one of my hips and DCs were always OP but turned at the last minute. The labours were fairly intense (no pain relief as I was at home) but I was up an about pretty much immediately.

Epidural! I kept hearing these poor women screaming in the other rooms and there was I just chilling out watching the Big Bang Theory. Unfortunately baby was turned round the wrong way so had to have forceps in the end, but up until that point it was easy, stress free and exciting. For early labour before the epidural I found hypnobirthing techniques helpful, mainly the breathing and counting through the contractions. That and having something like a table to hang the heck on to! Good luck with your birth! PS - please try to sleep if you can, they told me to but I was far too excited and didn't even try - I regretted that decision!

ELCS

Adding to the chorus of luck! First birth was crap. Second birth was truly easy. I've had worse headaches. Had I had my first birth both times, I would have no clue why anyone would complain about birth. The only thing different with my second birth was luck! Baby was in a much better position. It's not even as if I was more relaxed second time as after the first time I was much more nervous.

I had an easy birth.
On time and no induction
Tens machine
At home till 8cm
Water in mlu

The only bit I had control over was the staying home so long. That was all down to yoga breathing and knowing that i can usually do more than I think I can (learned this running and long distance cycling).

I've not read all the responses but I wonder what the ratio of 'good to bad' labours are. In my Nct group of 8, two had easy births, the others all had some horrors.

I think the expectation is all wrong.

I've got my three week old in my arms from my second grim labour.. I am DONE!!
Kxx

Luck
Baby's position
Baby's head size
Induction

Ds- Waters broke and labour started but 24 hours of contractions later only got me to 3cm. He was back to back and a 95thcentile head. Had to have the drip. Awful. I don't believe that any amount of positive thinking would have helped. It was agony.

Dd- Lots and lots of BH for two weeks. Quick labour -5 hours, no tears, I'd consider it a good birth. She was back to back at the start but turned which caused labour to move really quickly!

I really think length of labour makes a difference (and baby's position affects it). I found that the contractions when dd was back to back were incredibly painful but it was for a much shorter time.