...to ask those that had an 'easy' and 'amazing' birth how the hell they managed it?

[stumblymonkey]

Hi,

I'm shamelessly posting here for traffic.

I hear these stories of women who have had 'easy' births or 'amazing' birth experiences.

Are they urban myths? Or reserved for child #16 when your vagina is stretched to water slide proportions?

Did anyone have a great birthing experience with DC1 and if so.....what do you think you did, if anything, that I could steal?

It was a long time ago for me but I remember that with the second it hugely helped that I fully understood the birthing process. For example, I knew that when I started to feel low and that I was struggling I knew that this was a common experience near the end of the labour.

It also helped me to acknowledge that the pain came in waves - I wasn't in constant pain. As a pp suggested, it is all about your mindset.

I had DC2 at home and I would describe it as amazing and positive.

Mine were both straightforward and quick.
I was fairly fit before pregnancy, had a reasobnably healthy 9 months and then I didn't panic during labour. I think it's mostly just luck though.

I had two very simple straightforward births both lasting less than 4 hours. I also had two horrendous pregnancies where I was sick at least 5 times every day from week 4 until I was in the delivery suite. I see it as my trade off but really its just luck.

It's all down to luck and how good you find gas and air. Gas and air makes me sleepy so I slept between contractions and would have forgotten the pain before the next one. An open mind helps too.

No birth plan, no set ideas about how I wanted it to go and I just went with it. Stayed at home as long as possible, kept moving as much as I could and just let my body do it. Gave birth on all fours. Had to push much harder than I thought I needed to but she was 8lb 14oz!!!

Luck and (don't shoot me) attitude.

2nd birth I had at home, in water. Listened to music loud and let my body do what it wanted to ( even if it looked weird) and gave birth to 9Lb 9oz baby after four hours.

It was the letting go that made the difference I think. 3rd birth similar and shorter.

If it is any consolation it went tits up for both around four days later when I became catatonic with PND. That was genetic so luck too I suppose.

My first child labour was horrific. I was induced and left to do it in the hospital on my own. No painkillers given after the first lot wore off. Struggled with pushing and the midwife was an utter bitch to me. I ended up with a ventouse birth and torn badly and was in terrible pain.

Second child i was 4 days over. They didn't believe i was in enough pain don't know what they expected me to like crying on the floor lol on examination i was 4cm dilated. I got the royal treatment plenty of pain killers and good pain management, i think they felt guilty. My waters had gone and not sure when and baby was distressed they expected she might of swallowed some faeces. They sped my labour up and continually montiored me throughout the night. I gave birth at 8am. I felt amazing afterwards the amount of engery i had. I just blocked it all out and went into my own world to deal with the pain with was fairly minmial It was alot easier second time as you dilated easier and quicker and your muscles have already been used before. Such a difference of experiences in the two labours.

I'm currently expecting with DC3 in 8wks so hopefully it's even easier this time..i think good pain management is key. They last 4-6 hours so keep an eye on when you have them so you can ask to have a top up as they won't always offer. Often it ware off and you dont want to be without pain relief at the end.

I was just lucky. I didn't do anything special or different.

I only pushed for about ten or so minutes. And that was like trying to push off a car that was crushing me, in terms of pain and difficultly. I am in awe of anyone who went through that for longer than ten minutes. It is incredible to think some people had that experience lasting for hours.

Hm well I would say I had a pretty great birth (1st DC), even though I had forceps with no pain relief (not through choice) and a 3rd degree tear. It was very, very quick so that probably helped my perceptions! It's the bloody recovery that has been awful! Next time I'm hoping for a section but I feel very positive about my experience. Just luck I think. I did hypnobirthing but didn't get to put it into practise, although who knows, maybe it did help subconsciously.

I think with DS1 not knowing his sex helped. Yes, there was some pain but I was just so excited about meeting my child. It was more exciting that being 5 at Christmas. DS2 almost pain free. Just luck at the end of the day i think, coupled with a desire to avoid intervention at all costs.

I was given a large dose of pethadine. Dd1 was born on a Monday, I had been awake since the first twinge in Saturday. I slept through the whole thing, I woke up and realised I was pushing. DD was born 6 minutes later with no tearing.

In my ante-natal classes at the Portland Hospital the midwife told me that all first births are long and painful. I stopped her and said, "really? Every single one goes on for hours and hours?" "Yup" she responded. I pressed her "Seriously? Are you sure?" She paused then said, "Well, except those women who take homeopathy and have water births and do yoga and all that nonsense." I wrote down each one and did them all. I also bought a hypno-birthing CD and listened to that before hand. The books I read talked about a cascade of hormones and how it's important not to fight them or panic but to let them develop naturally because your body knows what to do. My first daughter was born in the water at St Thomas's in 2 hours flat! It hurt but the gas and air meant I just didn't care. The water makes such a difference because it calms and eases the discomfort and my DD came out blinking quietly; completely calm. Afterwards I put my dress back on and walked out of there down to reception in the recovery ward and the woman on reception double took saying, "OMG did you just have a baby? You look like you've just been shopping!" My second child took 5 hours because she got stuck and I had to get out of the water for the midwife to push her head round so that she could be released and be born. After that she came straight out. The second time round I was able to use the hypnobirthing techniques and they really helped.

It's very important to have the right shaped /sized pelvis. Also that the baby isn't too big, or has a very large head, or is back to front, or breech. If the baby is very large, has a large head or is back to front it helps if you ensure that your waters don't go early on in labour as you'll need them to help it turn during labour.

If you think you can choose any of the above by positive thinking or listening to your body I strongly urge you to try. If not, or even if so, an excellent midwife who is with you throughout makes a huge difference.

I wouldn't say mine was amazing but the labour bit was very quick and much easier than I expected (had a nasty tear tho so didn't get off completely Scott free :-).
I didnt do anything to make it easy. I honestly think it's just luck.
When my mum watches obem she finds it ridiculous the fuss the women make and doesn't understand the "way they go on". I think that she had pretty easy labours and I've just been lucky enough to take after her.

IMO childbirth is always an "amazing experience" - what's more amazing than bringing life into the world?!?
As for an "easy experience", I think mine was relatively easy in comparison to a lot of my RL friends. I was induced, then took 3 hours from first contraction to "hello baby", tried gas and air, but it made me sick so have up with it. It fucking hurt, but wasn't as bad as I had imagined. I think I was very lucky on the induction front, as I'm under the impression it usually takes a lot longer than mine did?

First, third and fifth were a (comparative) walk in the park. Second and fourth were awful but nothing compared to some horror stories I've heard.

Common themes in my experiences...
I had no expectations or plans, was prepared to take whatever came. No plans either way for pain relief, although I did have some hypnobirthing sessions for last 3 children.
Luck. Sometimes something happens that nobody has any control over and there is nothing you or anyone else can do about that, it's simply has to be dealt with.

Good staff, trusted midwife. On the trickier births I had not great midwives who I didn't completely trust/get along with.

Try to stand firm if You don't want or feel You need something. Of course that can be hard but if ever inch of you is crying out that something shouldn't happen, demand to know why it is deemed necessary and find out your options. Was induced on 2 and 4 despite being very unhappy about it. I was made to feel like it was my only option and that I was being irresponsible for even questioning the professionals. I'm certain this had an impact on my state of mind going into labour and I believe that as my body wasn't naturally ready the pain was more difficult to manage. The inductions were not necessary and I stood firm on baby number 5 (I'm not saying ALL inductions are uneccesssary meddling but mine most certainly were and prior to labour I bloody knew they were)

Birthing partners. My first and fifth children entered this world to a crowd! My DH, mum and sister were with me and that made those deliveries particularly fantastic. I felt loved, secure and supported. This made those births stand out as much more manageable.

In a nutshell, trust yourself and your body to know what to do.
Surround yourself with people you can count on.
Don't be afraid to speak up if you are unhappy.
Have an open mind, go with the flow a bit and don't panic.

My son's birth was amazing.

The actual birthing process was pretty awful really. Induced, which went for 14 hours with no let up, a failed epidural, finally after 28 hours we went to theatre and it was a forceps delivery in theatre (with the warning that if he didn't come out on the next push they were going to cut for the C-section). For all of the 28 hours I was alone with no support.

But he was born. He was breathing. And nothing else mattered.

I have 4 children, the only birth that could be described as easy and amazing was baby number 1. I did do all my relaxation exercises, breathing exercises I still use for things like dentists. Generally I think I was lucky. He was 9lbs and it wasn't a short labour, over 24 hrs and I had my waters broken as I was overdue so not the best start to labour but it was painless and quite wonderful.

One thing that is personal is that I like being alone in labour and the hospital was busy so midwife only popped in and out and didn't spend much time with me till the last 20 minutes or so and husband not allowed to stay, back in the dark ages. Baby number 2 husband there and it was painful and long drawn out, baby number 3 husband there and ended up in section. Baby number 4 I said I wanted to labour alone, husband allowed in at last minute for delivery and it was a quick labour if rather painful for the last few minutes (when husband was there.)

Michel Odent, famous French obstetrician, believes labour is longer and harder if husband is present and it certainly was for me.

My last baby is 11 days old and I was induced, it wasn't to bad tbh and lasted just over 2 hours.
Although the aftercare was a lot to be desired.

My first birth was long and miserable. DC2 I found amazing. Obviously it was painful, but the second time I felt like I just 'got it' better. I dilated to 10cm much quicker which helped but when it got to pushing I finally understood what I was meant to do, and when I got the hang of it it just felt amazing to have kept going through the pain and got my baby out. It went 'textbook' but I don't know why - 1st time really didn't!

loopygoose, the water birth doesn't work for everyone, I tried it with two of mine and as soon as I got in warm water my labour stopped. When I got out it started again. Encouraged by midwife to try again and got back in, labour stopped, encouraged to wait and eventually the midwife had to admit that the chances were my baby was never going to arrive if I stayed in warm water.

My pfb is 3 weeks old and her birth was fine. Possibly helped by her being early and only 4lbs 13. From first twinges of pain to birth was about 5 hours.
Luck certainly plays a part but I went into the whole thing feeling really positive and actually looking forward to the birth, I just felt as a woman it's something I wanted to experience. I expected it to be very painful and actually it wasn't nearly as painful as I thought it'd be, totally manageable. I was fit and active throughout pregnancy, walking 4 miles a day, and I think that helped.

Pure luck.

With my first I woke up in labour and within 2 hours I was already 9cm at which point it started to get very uncomfortable, got to the maternity unit who broke my waters and all the pain went away and my body involuntary pushed him out in the next 2 hours.

With my second again I woke up in labour although I thought it was braxton hicks as it did not hurt but I could feel it, got checked by the midwifes and was told I was 4cm then in the space of a few minutes I was 10cm and pushing. 2 hours from waking up to delivery but it hurt a lot more and she was born on her side in her waters.

I didn't do anything special or even write a birth plan just went with the flow and thankfully I seem to have quick "easy" labours and deliveries.

My mum didn't have it so easy with me and they had to use the sucking cup thing but my brother "flew" out.

My first birth was amazing, and comparatively easy. My second was very difficult and painful. I did nothing different, it was pure luck. It all depends on the baby's position, my second baby turned during labour and was born the wrong way round.

Mine was a good birth, relatively quick, no complications. . I really prepared for it with pregnancy yoga, swimming and breathing, visualization techniques. I was prepared for hours of labour and open to pain relief if it got too bad, but then it was time to push and I hadn't even tried the gas. I wondered if my years of painful periods helped me get through it.