...to ask those that had an 'easy' and 'amazing' birth how the hell they managed it?

[stumblymonkey]

Hi,

I'm shamelessly posting here for traffic.

I hear these stories of women who have had 'easy' births or 'amazing' birth experiences.

Are they urban myths? Or reserved for child #16 when your vagina is stretched to water slide proportions?

Did anyone have a great birthing experience with DC1 and if so.....what do you think you did, if anything, that I could steal?

Hypnobirthing
Attitude
Some luck (no medical issues)
Giving birth at home
Birth pool

During the active part, kneeling up with legs wide apart, as this creates more space in the pelvis.

Four babies. Three wonderful experiences and the last was horrific - we both nearly didn't make it. Luck has a lot to do with it, and I'll second (third?) the suggestion that you trust your body and your baby...i went with it, allowed the pain to flow through me instead of fighting it. No pain relief exception gas and air during transition which was whipped away when I got to the pushing stage. l'm fascinated by women who say they managed not to push. I couldn't have stopped pushing if I had tried, I didn't even feel like it was me doing the pushing - my body had completely taken over and my babies were coming whether anyone was ready for them or not :) I can remember feeling like it was them driving the whole experience, and was silently urging them "go on... You can do it". I didn't feel out of control but I was aware it wasn't me in the driving seat.

None of them were under 8lb and the last was nearly 11lb but a completely different story and one I feel it unfair to share with anyone who is pregnant or TTC number one.

C-section. I prayed every day (in churches! Proper praying) that I could have a c-section with DS1 because I figured there is NO WAY that a vaginal birth could be anything other than agony. DS1 was 2 weeks overdue; they found a benign cyst on my ovary had grown and prevented him from dropping into position. Next day, they removed the cyst and I had DS1 by C-section the same time. :) I still say thank-yous in church.

I had DS2 by c-section too.

Lots of moving around (stairs sideways, birthing ball, pacing etc etc), hypnobirthing, genetics, and luck. The first two would still have helped even if the third wasn't so good, but none of the first three can do much for an unfortunately positioned baby!

DS1 (induction at 40+12), 1hr46min, g&a, all good.
DS2 (spontaneous at 40+11), 34min, g&a, all good.

Birth is the easy bit anyway - it's being a mother that's the hard part

Whats - I do think it is agony. Crapping myself about giving birth to this one and I've already done it three times!! Bit late now I guess...

Things you have some control over:
Birth plan. My second labour where I laid out what was right for me or not after a traumatic first birth was better for being assertive over some preferences. The ending went out of my ideal range, but getting 90% of the way there within my comfort zone meant that despite the delivery, the labour was a positive experience.

Hypnobirthing. It kept me calm in both labours. 2nd time, I played the track on repeat on speakers. My MW said it kept her calm, she loved it!

Keeping active. Part of my baggage from my first birth was from ending up beached on my back being monitored. It felt so wrong, and my body was too exhausted from a long labour and generally being incapacitated with SPD to cope with getting comfortable. Second time, I knew more and part of the birth plan was abou getting comfortable. The best my body could do was kneeling over a birthing ball. Being on crutches and monitored throughout (VBAC) reduced my options, but I was in a position that felt more natural.

Choosing a father with a big head. Don't. He's a lovely bloke but his firstborn was incompatible with my pelvis

Things beyond your control:

Baby's position. I suspect I've gone through the delights of two back to back babies because of my tendency to SPD which makes it very painful for me to keep moving. I did my best second time, it still didn't work.

Genes. My genes are pretty good. That's why DS1 was such a shocker to me. Other circumstances outweighed it.

Your physique. My hips aren't the greatest anyway. They hate pregnancy. I've covered that theme. Being rather petite and giving birth to babies that were 2lb bigger than I was at my birth (same gestation), with the other glitches involved just wasn't going to be fun.

In short it's a lottery. But there are some adjustments that even if they don't tip the balance, can make it easier to mentally process, and that makes a big difference.

pure luck - baby in good position, awesome midwife on duty

My dd is 11 weeks old, so it's all quite recent for me. I had a spontaneous labour, got to fully dilated within 4 hours of the first contraction with only tens machine for pain relief, pushed for two hours, had a failed attempt at forceps then an emergency caesarean. Dd was back-to-back with her head straight rather than with her chin on her chest, so she wasn't budging. Can hand-on-heart say it was the best day of my life (all of it, not just the bit where they handed her to me) and I love thinking about it.

I think luck was the main thing in my favour in terms of how quick it was and how it was uncomfortable but not painful, but I'm a midwife in the unit I gave birth in, so A: I've (hopefully!) got a good understanding of birth and understood everything that was happening, so was pretty relaxed as things unfolded, and B: I had absolute confidence in my colleagues and that everything they were doing was in my best interests, not because they know me but because they're good at what they do, so again this helped me stay relaxed.

I also think it helped that I didn't have any firm preferences for the birth. I hoped to go in, have a nice calm water birth and go home again, but I was well prepared that that might not happen and so I wasn't concerned when it didn't work out like that.

So: luck, knowledge, trust and a flexible approach.

Hypnobirthing made the difference for me ( although I only have 1 DS). Labour was 3 hours 20 mins from start to finish. Two quick pushes and that was it.

I would say it is genetics, luck and having a really good level of fitness.

I haven't got childbearing hips quite the opposite. My first baby was 7% of my pre birth body weight as I was that small.

I had very minimal contact with midwives. I only bothered with hospital for hour or so as I just do it all at home on my own. I was brought up with the attitude 'it's only pain'. I knew I wouldn't want any injections or epidurals so stuck to that and stayed at home on my own so no one could give me them.

You can control your attitude and your exercise levels. Don't stop exercising even when heavily pregnant is my advice.

Hypnobirthing. It was so bloody boring.

Both mine were easy, fast and had no time for pain relief. Both my boys were small so maybe that helps?

Mine wasnt fast (newsnight to breakfast) but I couldn't even be bothered to investigate the gas and air, as I had previously been nosey to see if it was like the gas the dentist used to use. I was that bored and lazy I couldn't be arsed to reach behind me.

I did go for a wander up the corridors as I was so bored being stick in a room.

I am part sloth though and listened to radio 4 throughout.

I was also lucky, quiet birthing centre, fast birth, loved the gas and air and found the yoga breathing I'd been practicing really worked.

I had one moment when I could feel myself beginning to panic; near the beginning. I remembered the antenatal class lesson about the pain/stress/fear cycle and was able to make the conscious decision to just go with the flow. I totally respect that many women never get that moment and don't get to choose.

I was actually far more scared of birthing the placenta as by this point they'd taken the gas and air off me bastards

I think my labour was relatively 'easy' contractions begun at 11am, got to the hospital at 1pm was 6cm dilated and he was born at 4.58. Discharge at 9pm and got home for a well deserved pizza. That was my first baby too!

Think most of it is luck.
DD first baby - midwife appointment Thursday pm , told come back next week. Woke husband at midnight, sent home from hospital at 2.30 am after being told it was Braxton hicks. 5-30am waters broke with meconium present . Arrived back at hospital at 6-35am , baby arrived
7-05 am Friday without as much as an aspirin!!!
Thankfully both well. Although I think it took them all a day or two to get over the shock at how quickly it all happened .

Stay upright as much as possible in pregnancy.
I did weeks of listening to a hypnobirthing cd on a birth all before the birth.
Drank the maximum Raspberry leaf tea allowed daily. It is supposed to make labour quicker.
Regualr exercise, mainly swimming.
Water birth at home (without even gas and at). 6 hours from regular contractions to finish.

Same prep with dc2.
Birth centre, dry birth as no time to get in pool.
3 hour labour from regular contractions to delivery.
Sadly, that wasnt as straight forward after as i had retained Placenta and collapsed, rushed to hospital, surgery, blood transfusion, days in recovery... But the actual labour was textbook. The head midwife even said i was 'built for labour'. The surgeon said it was just bad luck.

Dc1 was 8 lb and dc2 was 10lb

I had 3 pretty easy births. I don't think I had much to do with it. I was just lucky.

3 babies in the 1970s, all 8lb ish. Easy labour and delivery, no gas and air given, just lovely caring midwives who made it a very calm and manageable experience.

It's pure luck imho. I did t have that luck.

Very fast progress in labour was why mine was eay. I Went to sleep in bath at home with minor contractions. Woke up in cold bath in screaming agony. Drove v fast to hospital and baby born in ROOM 1, 15 mins after arrival. Gas and air for stitches and after pains

This was my second 7lb son. First son was 72 hours of hell being induced and ended in forceps for 8lb 10oz baby who then got serious postnatal infection and ended up back in hospital for a week. So I was owed an easy second birth!

And size has nothing to do with it, either. My two easy births were 9'9 and 10'6.

First 2 births were sections the last 4 easy and uncomplicated vbacs . I had hired doulas for those.