...to ask those that had an 'easy' and 'amazing' birth how the hell they managed it?

[stumblymonkey]

Hi,

I'm shamelessly posting here for traffic.

I hear these stories of women who have had 'easy' births or 'amazing' birth experiences.

Are they urban myths? Or reserved for child #16 when your vagina is stretched to water slide proportions?

Did anyone have a great birthing experience with DC1 and if so.....what do you think you did, if anything, that I could steal?

Have a premature baby, therefore small

Have your waters go a week before labour, therefore a fair way along when contractions start again

3 hours labouring, half a dozen pushes and delivery with no stiches needed

(Though no one should have to see their baby with feeding tubes in an incubator, so really not recommended. And labouring with monitoring straps attached isn't exactly fun)

One thing that is maybe more useful is to let your body do what it needs to do - I'm not a hippy dippy type, but after a change of midwife shift, I had one who reminded me that we have had many years of evolution to be able to deliver babies, even if we don't consciously know what is happening to us

I was just lucky. How on earth could it be anything else? I didn't do anything special, wasn't particularly fit, couldn't remember a word of the nct classes. Just lucky.

Knowledge. Home. Water. Hypnobirth

Birth one was a waterbirth. It was quite lovely. I was very active before I went in the water. Birth two was ok as I was standing for most. Lying down was my biggest error it completely changed the pain and it was unbearable. Keep as active as you can and listen to your body.

I've had 3 very different births but have loved all of them and would happily do it again. I hate the recovery phase though..

Things that helped me (benefits of good health of me and baby and sheer luck notwithstanding) -

-Lots of reading of positive birth stories, Ina May Gaskin, Michel Odent, Janet Balaskas, websites etc. Growing up with a mother that enjoyed and coped well in labour/birth -Antenatal classes that were educational and empowering, helped me to think through things like having a physiological third stage if possible.
-Community midwives who established a good and consistent relationship and helped me to look forward to labour and birth
-Antenatal/active birth yoga - lots of work on positioning of baby and coping strategies for labour. I had a very long (days) latent phase with my first and stayed relaxed and calm using breathing and chanting (I'm not remotely woo but it really really worked)
-aqua natal classes and walking lots, feeling fit and healthy for labour
-hypno birthing CDs - I used the visualisations and relaxation loads in labour
-labouring at home, quietly and unobserved - only involving hcps at a point that labour was well established. 2/3 were born at home.
-Using warm water - 2/3 were born in a pool and warm baths had helped all of my labours hugely

• thinking like a mammal. I read somewhere that animals don't panic in labour as they don't dwell on the contractions that have passed and they don't dread the one to come - I really channeled this.

The best thing for numbers 2&3 was going into them with a positive memory of the first birth.

Good luck!

Stayed active throughout pregnancy, which I think helped. Hated the contractions, but arrived at hospital 10cm dialated and ready to go, which changed my mindset completely as the finish line was in sight, hopped in the pool, completely relaxed and 50 minutes later jobs a goodun. Didn't even notice the second degree labial tear. Id pick giving birth over being stitched up any day...

I really enjoyed my second. The first was not good in part because I didn't have a birth plan and I hadn't thought about what I wanted should things not work well then having to make decisions in the throes of labour. I spent lots of time discussing with Dh for the second one and he was my advocate and supporter. I felt much more supported and not frightened.

Read Ina May. Hypnobirthing. Gathered positive birth stories from friends. Avoided negative birth stories. Talked to Dh a lot and made sure he was ready to speak for me. Faced my fears. Laboured at home. Tens machine. Walked a lot.

It was the most wonderful experience of my life. The pain felt very purposeful and not frightening. Every contraction was one less and another step forward. It was great.

Good luck!

My first labour was horrible. 20 hours of painful contractions overnight and constantly being sick. By morning I was exhausted and still not fully dilated. Midwife wanted me to try pushing but I was so drained I couldn't so was rushed in for EMCS. Second time round was completely different. Was expecting twins and opted for Elective CS. Wonderful experience - arrived in ward at 8.30, twins born at 10. So calm and relaxed.

First labour was not much fun - large baby, back to back, went on for 28 hours, excruciatingly painful at 3 cm and not dilating further, eventually had an epidural which was fantastic but I didn't enjoy having to have a catheter etc. after.

Second labour was totally different: 3 hrs 40 minutes from the first contraction to birth. I almost didn't get to the hospital on time because, whilst I was in pain from the contractions, it was nowhere near as bad as it had been at 3 cm dilated with my first until I was practically pushing the baby out. Gas and air and all over before I knew it. Although whilst the birth was much easier for me, my second son broke his collarbone in his rush to get out so not easier for him! Luckily it only seemed to bother him for about a week and a year later you wouldn't know he'd ever had a broken collarbone.

I don't think I had a different "attitude" or "mindset" for the two births. For me, it was all about positioning of the baby. I can still remember the agony of the contractions in my first labour and I'm as sure as I can be that no amount of hypnobirthing or breathing exercises would have made it better. I was pretty much catatonic by the time they put the epidural in. So I would definitely say - if you are in loads of pain and it's taking forever and you're not dilating - have the epidural!

'Easy' doesn't always mean not traumatic or stressful. My easiest birth was waters broke hours before contractions started,
relaxing day waiting for something to start,
nandos take away,
sleep for a few hours,
wake up to a large contraction,
then another 10 mins later,
phone hospital (essentially told you are being a wimp) one more contraction, need a poo,
realise poo is a head,
yell at husband to phone ambulance,
try not to have baby (incredibly difficult it would seem)
paramedic catches baby,
go into shock,
Travel in an ambulance trying to deliver placenta though clueless how to,
be unable to hold or feed baby for hours due to vomiting and shaking,
get treated like crap by midwife on labour unit and told to go home until husband points out I've not fed or held baby,
have an angry midwife yank a chunk of pubic hair out claiming she was removing a clot,
Baby gets ill refuses to feed ends up in SCBU then children's ward,
Blame self for not going to hospital quicker,
have panic attacks when entering room the baby was born in for around 18 months.

Luck?
Both babies in very good position (not back to back or breech)
Had a very very open mind wrt pain relief - only needed my tens machine for both births and I think partially that was because I didn't have any strong views/birth plan that I was adamant about (I think birth plans are stupid...especially for a first baby....you have NO idea what you want or need!)
Sadly my post care (or lack of it) is another matter but birth wise very easy both times - 6 pushes and both of them just popped out :)

Luck: smallish babies, dilated quickly, 1st one midwife assigned to me was a delight and on my wavelength. Pain wasn't too bad so I stayed at home and when I went in I was almost fully dilated. 2nd one I got on with. No complications.

We all have our triggers. For me, it's being talked down to and being told I must do something. I read a lot beforehand so I knew a few things I could argue about if necessary Having had a patronising consultant during my first pregnancy made me quite sure I wouldn't have him telling me what to do!

I've had 2 completely different births. DC1 was induced, 12 days late and ended in an emergency c-section from which my recovery was brutal. It was honestly such a terrible experience I was put off having any more children and only decided to try again after a lot of long talks with a midwife. DC2 was completely different. By a lot of people's standards it was probably still a terrible experience but for me it was "amazing". I was in labour with contractions every 10 mins varying in intensity for 3 whole days but I went into labour on my own at 40+2 and managed on only gas and air for a couple of the last hours of it, I gave it back when pushing! I didn't find it incredibly painful though I was tired at some points and the pushing, crowning and epitiostomy I had weren't painful at all, I literally didn't feel a thing! It was "amazing" for me because I got the VBAC I wanted.
I'm very sure it's all down to luck though. My mum and grans all had numerous straightforward labours so in my case it certainly wasn't hereditary.
One tip I do have is to take evening primrose oil. I did this second time round and I'm pretty sure that's what got me started!

Notso that sounds awful! I hope you're ok now

Another vote for luck & position of the baby. Both my labours progressed very quickly up to a point, one was horrendous and one easy as pie in comparison. I'm the same 'me' with the same level of knowledge, pain threshold, capacity for positive thought etc. Every birth and labour is different and every woman labours differently.

Partly luck and partly finding the right brain space / zone.

I've always turned into a sort of different kind of primeval woman when I'm in labour - with the help of music, candles and a bath.

Managed four quick labours with no pain relief (birth plan said give me all the drugs you have). Only just made it to hospital with first, unplanned and unattended HB with second, planned HB with third and fourth.

I have one Dc born in Dec and actual birth was great! Labour was dreadful as I was induced and no one told me it suddenly hits you like a train! However I was only in (fake) labour for About 6 hours I was a complete baby and told them I couldn't deal with the pain (the air was blue I tell you!!) so they took induction thingy out of me and I signed the consent for a cs... I wasn't dilated at all... Said to the midwife I need to pee and asked her to come with me... I was crying through awful contractions because I couldn't Widdle!!! Then all of a sudden out of nowhere get the uncontrollable urge to push and my waters broke... So undignified in front of a load of strangers... They got me on the bed checked my downstairs and rushed Me up to the delivery suite... He was born 7 MINUTES LATER!!! I honestly thought I was going to have him in the lift

Luck with me sort of. Dd was early and only 5lbs as I had a viral infection so labour was mega fast. I also have been " diagnosed " as having a high tolerance for pain so didn't realise I was in labour initially. It was fast and not bad.