...to ask those that had an 'easy' and 'amazing' birth how the hell they managed it?

[stumblymonkey]

Hi,

I'm shamelessly posting here for traffic.

I hear these stories of women who have had 'easy' births or 'amazing' birth experiences.

Are they urban myths? Or reserved for child #16 when your vagina is stretched to water slide proportions?

Did anyone have a great birthing experience with DC1 and if so.....what do you think you did, if anything, that I could steal?

Luck - wouldn't say easy but straightforward and not too traumatic.

Born with wide child bearing hips , had large babies another family trait who came quickly down with gravity, babies were in correct position.

Some preparation - perium - massage, being fit and active pre/during pg.

Drank the raspberry leaf tea from however many weeks it's safe to do so onwards supposed to help reduce labour times though not sure how well researched that is.

Very active during labour - running up and down stairs to be sick or on my feet, pre labour did lots of stuff on knees cleaning and was in ergonomic chair so baby was tipped pelvis forward into correct position in pelvis not spending time in bucket chairs which may encourage back to back presentation. Was able to take up positions I wanted and walk round in later labour as I wished.

Again luck had best 1 to 1 MW care - not available everywhere in UK - so met team and knew person delivering - well for first which helped. Helped have experienced calm MW around for first two births. Last was more standard MW set up and not as good but had experience of giving birth then.

Had access to MW led unit for first then HB for next one - so wasn't in a consultant led unit which have higher intervention rates.

So basically most things that I think helped - were really out of my control to a large extent.

"Luck..... and avoiding NHS midwives."

You may have had a negative experience, but don't project this bollocks onto everyone else. As in all walks of life you meet people who aren't the best at their job. You were just unlucky.

I had fantastic care all through my pregnancy and labour, courtesy of the NHS.

Mine were easy but that's because I have severe hyper mobility syndrome and pregnancy causes my pelvis to separate to the point where I don't feel contractions and the baby pretty much just falls out (my fanjo does return to a normal size afterwards though, I'm not harbouring a wind sock down my pants!)

Both times it was easy, without pain relief and fast.

DD was 6 hrs start to finish, contracted 4 hours, born in water to my music, no difficulties and only a couple of minor stitches. No pain relief other than water.

DS under 2 hrs start to finish, contracted 45 mins, born in water to my music, no difficulties, no stitches, minor minor graze. No pain relief other than water.

I know I'm just lucky. I'm very fortunate I had an easy ride and got everything I'd planned from delivery both times.

On the other hand I had SPD in pregnancy, felt shit, and had none sleeping babies. Everyone has their troubles somewhere!

Luck definately.

DC1 - not great, but also very easy compared to some horror stories.
DC2 - Pretty much fell out. The pain of the contractions were taken away by gas and air and apart from the actual pushing there was no pain.
DC3 - Was the hardest for me. She was facing the wrong way so it was harder. The gas and air had no effect so I stopped trying with it.

I'll also add here that once transition was done and I started pushing, the pain just sort of stopped for me!

My body just took over, it was impossible not to push, I remember turning to dh and saying 'i can do it, it doesn't hurt anymore'

I pushed for less than 20 mins

My three births were easy and got faster with each one.

Number one daughter. Waters started leaking new years day at 5am but wasn't in labour, no contractions on the monitor. Was kept in overnight. Second January taken down at half eleven, still no contractions. Was checked and was 5cm. Remaining waters were burst at 11.40. Contractions started straight away and were none stop. An hour later I started pushing and she was born ten minutes later.

Number two, bent down to put washing away and waters started trickling. Again no contractions. Got to hospital and as I walked through the doors they went with a gush and contractions started again full strength with literally seconds between each one. She was born within forty fine minutes.

Last one, went to the toilet at 3am, and suddenly my body started bearing down. No contractions just my body pushing. Rushed to hospital blowing out everytime my body beared down got in the side night entrance and was taken to an assessment unit. Was ten cm. I thought he'd be born pretty quick when I finally relaxed and went with it but my waters were bulging and the mw wouldn't burst them so I had to push a 9lb 9.5 baby out past them whilst begging her to just burst them. They burst nearly in her face as he was coming out. He was born about forty minutes after I woke up to go to the toilet.

Iv worked out that my body silently dilates without contractions and I don't feel anything till my waters go and so because they didn't the last time till the end I never felt one contraction. Think that's my secret but unfortunately it's not something you can choose. With all pregnancies I felt really laid back about the births and chilled out. Wasnt worried at all even with the first.

I do realise I was very lucky. My pregnancy and birth days are over now as DH has and the snip.

I had two straight forward vaginal deliveries, then two emcs.

My birth was 44 hours long, and ended up with an EMCS under general anaesthetic (quite far removed from the water birth I had planned...) but the thing that kept me calm throughout it all was hypnobirthing. It took me from someone petrified of childbirth, to someone that coped with a fairly arduous labour by anyone's standards. I can't recommend it enough. That and not having a fixed plan!

""Or reserved for child #16 when your vagina is stretched to water slide proportions?""

Really didn't expect this sexist bullshit from a woman young enough to give birth.

Your Vagina isn't as tight as you age, but it heals itself and cleans itself. The amount of times you give birth or have sex isn't the issue.

For me and recently my DD, it's been helpful to have the Births we wanted (Home and Hospital), understand Labour and read around correct breathing etc and keeping calm and open minded.

I gave my DD a copy of 'Hypnobirthing' she found it useful, she had a Pool Home Birth.

Small babies. Well positioned babies (I swear by birthing balls in the last few weeks of pregnancy... reminder to self to buy one as I'm nearly 34 weeks now!).

Home births. Quick births. All three babies were pushed out within 2-3 minutes. Age? I was 19, 21 and 23 when I gave birth. I'm a size 8 but very unfit so not sure how that worked out.

Luck

Small babies (both premature in fact, so not quite so great from that pov)

Well positioned babies (remember not to slump backwards in late pregnancy)

Hypnobirthing book - helped with accepting the pain as productive and not tensing up during contractions

I had a home birth, did prenatal yoga and listened to my hypnobirthing cd everyday for 3 weeks before the birth. I stayed really active, I sort of felt like I needed to be shape for the birth, walked loads.

But yeah mostly luck I think. Small baby, really really great (NHS) midwife, baby in good position. I actually enjoyed giving birth.

Oh yeah second the advice to try to help the good position along. No idea if it did anything or if it was luck but I didn't lounge back on the sofa at all for the last trimester - bounced on my ball and leant forward over it.

I was fat and 35 so felt I needed all the advantages I could garner!

I had 2 extremely easy births...too easy as they were both so fast that, particularly in the first one, much panic resulted with half the birth occurring in the taxi to A&E. Both births occurred within half an hour of first signs of labour. Genetics was the key, as well as smaller side of normal babies.

Oh sorry one more thing - I recommend Birth Skills the book, swore by it. And Ina May Gaskin to help you find your inner earth mother/

My first was 50 hour labour ending in episiotomy in theatre. My second I read the hypnobirthing book book, stayed at home as long as I could and had what I would describe as an amazing birth. Less than 12 hours from 1st contraction to baby being born within 2 hours of arriving at hospital on just tens and gas and air.

I really massively credit the hypnobirthing book.

And as I can lots of people are crediting as easier birth to smaller babies, my 2nd was 9lb.

My first birth was amazing, took a couple of weeks to go into active labour but once I got to 3cm I was in labour for 7 hours.

No pain relief (gas & air made me sick)..my body just took over, I was pushing for 20 minutes, when her head was almost out the pain stopped.
She was back to back as well with her hand on her face.

I think the best thing is just to remember each contraction brings you closer to meeting your baby.

My 2nd birth was more intense, but a lot quicker.

My sister had horrific births with her 3rd & 4th babies so I think it's just down to luck more than anything.

Oh and about small babies, my first was 8lb 10oz and second was 8lb 13oz. I don't think it's anything to do with their size.

I think mine would have probably been ok if they hadn't stuck me on that bloody godawful drip at the end. 'Energetic contractions' should have been sold to me as excruciatingly painful two hours of your life with no pain relief whatsoever. HOWEVER when I met up with lots of the girls in my antenatal class in the following weeks I realised my experience has been a total walk in the park by comparison.

It's largely about the position of the baby, which you can't really fully control since it all starts with where the placenta attaches itself.

(Very) Basically:
Back to back= longish labour, more pain, greater likelihood of interventions
Ideal (OA)= usually fairly textbook labour
Breech and similar variations= section

You can try to optimise the position. Sleep tummy down, lots of spinning babies exercises (Google), lots of time on the birth ball, both sitting on it and on all fours kind of rolling it to and from you.

After a back to back birth first time I finally understood how much all that stuff mattered despite paying it little attention previously, and had a daily ritual for the last trimester for my second. I really upped it in the last month when midwives told me the second was back to back too and tried to make sure I never sat in the positions that encourage b2b. Felt uncomfortable and unnatural for me, I have to admit, but it was well worth it for the totally straightforward and textbook labour I had in the end. He just ended up lined up perfectly :-)

I had an amazing, fairly easy birth. It was a drip induction, no epidural, DD came out in three pushes with gas and air.

However prior to that the induction took 3 days before I went onto the drip, I was induced for pre-eclampsia, I had a hellish pregnancy and afterwards I had to be stitched up for two hours with no local anaesthetic. The woman opposite me in the ward told me constantly that everyone who has an induction needs an epidural, and it's hellish, and having your waters broken is agonising, and you'll need a catheter and this that and the other.

In labour itself, honestly I think I was so relieved and happy to be almost not pregnant anymore that I was totally relaxed and chilled out for the birth - I danced with DP in between contractions holding the drip stand, got to 10cm dilated and didn't think I was in enough pain to be there (thought I just needed a poo) so I held DD in for an hour before they finally checked me and said it wasn't poo, it was a baby's head.

Basically just had music on, laughed lots, took everything as it came, went in with no expectations, no real birth plan, just winged it as we went along and it was great. I look back on it with amazing memories. But a lot of that was luck, a little bit of very high pain tolerance and lots of encouragement from my birth partners and a fab midwife.

(And I'm not ashamed to say that when the woman who'd told me all the horror stories looked at me the next day as I walked to the loo and she was stuck in bed with a catheter from her epidural, asked me "It was horrible, wasn't it?", I was more than a little bit smug as I said "Nah it was great, actually" )

(Although I did have nasty back and thigh contractions. DD was back to back and twisted to be facing sideways as she came out)