To not visit friends who have dogs and not allow dogs in my house?

[Zinni]

I don't like dogs much. I'm nervous around them especially big ones that jump up.

I also find them unbearably smelly indoors and hate getting dog hair/slobber on my clothes.

Three of my friends have dogs so I don't visit them at home. I don't feel comfortable being in the same room as the dog. I also have a 4-month-old and worry the dogs might try to sniff/lick him, I don't want them near him TBH as I don't trust them and worry they might suddenly lunge at him.

So I always turn down invitations to these friends houses. I'm too to explain I'm scared of the dogs! I've thought of asking them to shut dogs in another room but would this be rude?

Also my cousin is visiting soon (day-trip) to meet my son and said she will be bringing her dog, a German Shepherd cross. WIBU to insist dog stays in car?

Jesus. The cousin says this German Shepherd "thinks he's boss". The dog has blocked OP, growling, on more than one occasion. To me, this has all the signs of fuckwit dog owner.

OP, YANBU to not let this dog or its owner near your tiny baby. If she can't come without the dog, oh well, she can visit if and when she finds someone to look after the dog for her.

It's unfair not to tell her before the visit that you dont want the dog there. Tell her and she can decide what to do beforehand.

I have a fear of most animals, especially dogs. I always make arrangements based around whether there are animals around. I don't visit anyone's home without checking if there are animals there and if I can avoid them. I would not expect anyone to bring an animal to mine without first asking permission. Thankfully my friends are understanding and go out of their way to make my visit comfortable.

My two boys have never been shielded from my fear. They know it's irrational and find it mildly funny. Neither have any problem with animals and regularly walk and look after a neighbours dog.

that's not true , bb2. My dm's dog bit me in the face as i was sitting next to it with my mum on the other side, resting while out for a walk. I did not touch it ,in fact have never ever touched it, we were not even talking . No warning just a sudden silent lunge.

People aren't quite getting the concept of provoking a dog, and the dog giving plenty of signals it's unhappy. It doesn't mean you sit poking it for 5 minutes while it snarls increasingly before snapping. Like people, it usually builds up slowly, with very subtle signs. And then one day you give the tiniest hint you're going to do the same again, putting the dog back in the situation that's been upsetting it, and because you've ignored its polite hints, it has no choice but to snap.

I don't understand dog owners who won't, just for once, put their dog in another room if they have a friend who is nervous of dogs over for a visit.
I hate, hate HATE it when great big dogs jump up and put their paws onto you, and the owners just laugh "oh he's playing."
I don't fucking care, get it off me.
Train them not to jump up on people or accept that people might not visit you if you refuse to.

Do not go for a walk in the park with your cousin and their dog either after your latest post. This dog has growled at you and blocked you, obviously aggression signs. Your cousin sounds like a bloody idiot. Tell your cousin you will see them only if they leave the dog at home, end of discussion. If they won't respect your wishes, then just don't bother with them - your cousin sounds like a bit of an inconsiderate twat anyway.

Growling isn't aggression as such. Humans perceive it to be aggression but it's actually a very, very controlled warning that the dog is uncomfortable. A dog that doesn't growl is much more of a danger as it has lost an important means of communicating.

I wouldn't expect a dog to be shut away for visitors (it IS that dog's home) but you do need to tell people you don't want them to bring their dogs to your house. Especially your cousin - before they set off!

Entirely reasonable to not want dogs in your home but you need to tell them and not pussy foot round the issue.

I have been trying to find a suitable link, but am unable to. I have spoken to an RSPCA inspector this week. It has been fairly well publicised that april6th this year all dogs have to be microchipped and the registration kept up to date. What has been less well publicised is that behaviour issues are to be addressed as well. Even if you are on private property with permission if the dog gives you reason to be worried you can discuss this with the police or dog warden. The owner of the dog with behavioural issues can be advised that they need to undertake behavioural training for the dog or to attend training classes themselves and if they don't then they can be fined. I have not seen any evidence about how this will work in real life. If the dog has truly shown aggressive behaviour and blocked people the way that OP describes then the owner is being utterly irresponsible to not take some sort of action. I am a veterinary surgeon and I tell owners that when a dog has shown warning signs then they need to make sure that they do something different to make sure that things do not go further. I will always offer euthanasia in these sort of circumstances and make a clinical record to support this. As a mother I would not allow any of my children to be around this sort of dog.
Growling is a sign that the dog is not happy About something. In some cases the best solution is to stop what you are doing and leave the dog alone, but in others it might be that the dog is seeing what it can get away with and will back down quickly if challenged . While an experienced dog person might be able to tell what would be the best response I don't see that OP would have any way of telling the difference and shouldn't be expected to be able to either

amarmai in that situation, one of two things will have happened. Either the dog had been giving signals that it felt uncomfortable around you for a while, but your parents were unable to recognise those signs - they aren't glaring obvious if you don't already know what to look for - or - the dog had been punished for giving more obvious warning signs, such as growling or baring teeth and had therefore learned not to warn before lunging.

Often the very first sign of a dog's unease are tongue flicks, that can be so subtle and quick they can easily be missed. Other signs, such as 'whale eye' can be seen over and over again on those jolly fb photos of dogs with babies pulling them about and are a clear signal that the dog is becoming seriously distressed, yet most people don't realise that's what the dog is trying to communicate.

Examples of dog's eye signals. If you google 'dogs whale eye' and look at Google images you'll see hundreds of examples of dogs displaying this signal.

This picture shows some of the other signs that dogs are feeling anxious or fearful but is by no means exhaustive.

Biggerbang I am saddened to see a vet admit that they would offer euthanasia as a first option to a dog owner of a dog that has growled or body blocked without ever escalating those behaviours - without even attempting to address the root cause of the problem.

Growling is a clear warning signal, not that the dog is about to bite, but that they are very unhappy with something about the situation they are in. It's actually healthy, clear communication and easier for humans to understand than the signals I've linked to above. Some dogs learn to fast-track or skip the less obvious signals, having been repeatedly ignored over multiple years and learning that the only thing humans will respond to is a growl. Unfortunately, some dogs are then punished for growling and that will either escalate the situation or teach that dog that growling no longer works and they have no option but to escalate things still further, potentially causing a snap or bite. Dogs that growl don't need to be euthanised, they need to be understood, properly/positively handled and not put in whatever situation it is that causes them enough stress that they feel the need to warn in the first place. Surely a referral to a behaviourist should be the first thing you offer - not euthanasia?

A dog that doesn't growl is much more of a danger as it has lost an important means of communicating. This is bang on imo.

Also - not all dog houses are stinky, hairy houses, please can people stop making hysterical generalisations

Very true. When we sold our last house the Estate Agent wouldn't believe me that I had three large dogs, because the house didn't smell, wasn't hairy and I removed all trace of fur, bedding, bowls etc for viewings. I had to go and fetch the dogs and introduce them before she'd believe me.

i had never met the dog before as mu mum got it while i was at uni. Must have been instant dislike or maybe jealousy? She did tell me she knew it didn't like cc .

Ah, it wouldn't be jealousy exactly, but could potentially have been resource guarding (either the sofa or your Mum). I suspect the warning signs were there but missed. As I said, they are often subtle and easily missed if you don't know what you're looking at.

I have a big hairy dog. I don't think he's smelly, but I'm probably immune!

It is entirely reasonable to be afraid of dogs - or anything, really - and I would never dream of taking my dog to someone's house unless he had been invited. Before anyone comes in my house( eg gas man) I ask if they mind dogs, and if they do I shut him in the kitchen. If someone is coming for longer - eg for dinner - then they know about dog and have the opportunity to decline invite.

Frankly, anyone who is afraid of a golden retriever is really anti-dogs so wouldn't come to the house. Some people who have said they don't like/are afraid of dogs have changed their minds after experiencing my dog. In spite of the hair and slobber he is very friendly and gentle.

I must admit I have avoided going to a friend's who had a rottweiler. She (the dog) had a mean look in her eye...

I adore dogs, but have a friend with two out of control terriers that literally mob you when you visit. I don't see her at her house, because I am not comfortable around her dogs. I have also observed their behaviour quite closely and can see that one of them is particularly stressed by visitors coming into his home. (I have offered lots of advice, when asked, but she chooses not to take it on board.)

She comes to mine and always comments on how calm and quiet my dogs are - that's the advantage of having two great big lazy Lurchers and doing lots and lots of socialisation and training I suppose.

In spite of the hair and slobber he is very friendly and gentle.
People who don't like dogs aren't all afraid they are going to bite. The jumping up and slobbering are horrible. The "ah, he's just being friendly" is so annoying. It makes my stomach churn when I see people allowing their dog to lick their face, then that friendly, slobbery tongue heads towards me and I just shudder.

Love me love my dog. Wouldn't have anyone around me that thought any different.

"Love me love my dog. Wouldn't have anyone around me that thought any different."

God, some people are stupid.

And that is the reason I prefer animals ^^
Give me dog slobber any day... kid slobber - gross.

In a way i feel comforted that so many people are terrified of dog. I once was bitten by dog on my bum when i was 7 yr old. And thats it, bo matter how small, cute dog is, i always am open to admit it publically, never seen any offence so far.

shihtzumamma My kid doesn't go from licking it's arsehole to licking my face rubbing it's wet nose that's just been rubbing up agaist another dogs arsehole and slobbering it's extendable tongue. And though licking his own family is something DS2 (4yrs) thinks is brilliant at the moment, he won't be doing it his whole life, also he doesn't run up to strangers and start licking them.

Don't dogs have an innate drive to view small children as prey?

Oh for God's sake! Really?

It's been said over and over but I'll say it again, YANBU OP. I have 2 dogs and will always put them out if any visitor is in any way uncomfortable with them in the house. People first, dogs second and the dogs know it.

I also would NEVER dream of bringing my dog to someone else's house, even if they were dog people.

scardey my dog doesn't run over to small children and start trying to pull their tails, or stick his face in theirs whilst screaming, or use a scooter to deliberately runover their their feet, or poke their eyes, or throw things at them, or approach them despite the parent repeatedly saying to leave them alone, or climb on them, or yank their ears. Whilst I stand indulgently watching and saying how dear tarquinella dog loves children and muttering about the parent being a misery guts to spoil my pfbs 'fun'. All of which I've had dc go out of their way to approach and do to dogs of mine. And despite me physically blocking their badly behaved sporn, still stand there saying it's ok their pfb likes dogs.

Because you see some people are just selfish stupid twats, and they behave like that because they are twats, rather than because they have kids or dogs. The majority of parents aren't like my example above, and the majority of dog owners aren't idiots either.

Although if we're on the subject of hygiene, unlike kids, dogs don't spend the first few years of their life weeing and shitting on themselves, prior to spending the rest of their lives using their paws to clean it up